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Hi Tricia,
I worked as an art director of a book publishing company for five years back in the early 1980's so this subject really caught my attention. I think you are doing a great job and I agree that care should be taken to make sure that our eye goes to the face. I agree with Kim about the cheek and the hairline. I also think you might want to consider a darker shadow on the neck and more shadow on the face of the man behind. I think it will help to set him back to create more depth.
I was a graphic designer before computers so I am a real novice at Photoshop although I have been practicing. I hope you don't mind but I experimented a bit on this. I just added some shadow on the side of the masters' face and along the hairline and also on his neck. I then added a darker value along the left side of the other mans' face where there might be a shadow from the master.
One of the best things to do before you finalize everything is to print out a copy approximately the size it will be on the bookcover. That way you can see how it will hold up when reduced.
Best of luck to you and your husband!!
Cynthia
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