I'm Having a Breakdown - Sage, Advice Please

[John Crowther]

As a teacher (and a lacrosse coach) I had to smile. I sympathize with your struggle, but forgive me if I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect the teacher to modify their pedagogic approach for every student who's uncomfortable with it. My question would be, Kimber, what's the specific goal of this particular lesson, other than to paint a pretty picture? Is it about the background? Is it about color? Is it about likeness, or proportions, or something else? If there's a specific goal, other than background, why not just focus on that and eliminate background? If indeed it's about backgrounds, then follow your instincts and accept whatever criticism you receive. Assignments should never be thought of as demanding perfection or excellence. They're opportunities to measure progress and learn, even from mistakes and, sometimes, failures.

John C.

[Kimber Scott]

Originally Posted by John Crowther

My question would be, Kimber, what's the specific goal of this particular lesson, other than to paint a pretty picture?

Hi John,

Thanks for taking the time to address my problem. What is the goal of the lesson? It's an independent study class. I choose the problems and work to find the solutions. With occassional guidance from the teacher. I believe the confict arises when the teacher must document some sort of progress and to her idea progess is in numbers and to me there are a number of problems in every painting.

What mark can she put in her book to indicate I have just discovered I can indicate the transparent glow of a whisp of hair with a glaze. Or, how I figured out how to make the dark side of the face look like it still exists in the darkness by using similar dark values of warm and cool color? (You see they don't teach you these things in class.) I'm still thinking about the window. I'm beating myself for not working out my composition better from the beginning How to fix it? I've decided to re-stretch, but I don't know how. Another problem in search of a solution. I'll do it later. My painting's ready to turn in now.

Here's something else I've just figured out, though. I am not going to try to paint any more finished paintings, (especially not 5' x 3'), for this class. I'm going to work on studies. I will break my problems down into small pieces so as to make it appear I'm doing more paintings. But, here's the problem with that... I don't know what my problems are until I stumble upon them in search of a picture. (I do have a mental list with which to keep myself occupied for the rest of the semester, though.)

And so, my college education continues... I'm paying a lot of money to figure out how to get a grade, not learn how to make pictures. I guess I can do that after I graduate.

[John Crowther]

Good post, Kimber. It sounds to me like after you got through your "crisis" you worked it out for yourself very well. I hope I didn't come off like I was taking the teacher's side necessarily, but you evidently took what I was saying exactly the right way. Actually, you went me one better, and have found a way to balance dealing with the teacher and at the same time satisfying your own needs. Yes, the challenges we face never go away, the list just keeps getting longer. But by all means keep on painting!

John C.

[Kimber Scott]

Thanks, John. I turned the painting in today. We did a small critique. She made many helpful suggestions and I'm feeling much better about the painting and the "class," altogether. She addressed all of the issues I was worried about.

I'm glad this board was here for me. I tend to get a bit over-dramatic, but that's what's going on inside my head. Every painting problem becomes Titanic. Life is so perilous. The world will stop turning any moment if I can't paint this cheek, or that hand. And why can't I paint it? Then to add to the torture I begin looking at Bouguereau and wonder why I can't paint like that. It's got to be because nobody will teach me!

And, there it goes and here it is. The painting has been turned in, talked about and brought home and the world is still spinning. Of course, I will keep painting. I couldn't live without it!

[Chris Saper]

Dear Kimber,

You live so close, please come visit me ( 602-957-8107). I think you are at cross purposes. You need the grade to graduate and open up whatever options academically you might want to pursue.

Matriculation is something that I think is essential, and that is important. That being said your university (Where?) experience is independent from your art experience. First things first:

Graduate with honors. This is a degree, not a post graduate experience. Real portrait education will occur for you outside the university setting. Both, though, are important.

She stresses quantity over quality. She says I can learn more in 100 paintings than I can in one.

Actually I agree here.

And only Bougeureau can paint like Bougeureau. You will paint like yourself.

[John Crowther]

Chris is so right, Kimber, you will learn more in 100 paintings. Remember, we get good at what we do. It's hard to see progress from one day to another, or one painting to another, and without the stimulation of progress it's easy to lose heart. But a year later, after 100 paintings, or whatever, you'll be astonished at how much you've grown without even realizing it, even when you don't have the benefit of a teacher.

John C.

[Kimber Scott]

Thanks, Chris. I do tend to get ahead of myself, don't I? I'd love to come visit with you. I'll call you soon.

I'm a student at ASU. I graduate next spring. Hopefully, I can keep my wits about me until then! There are some great teachers there and they treat me very well. They just don't know what I want to know, (if they do, they won't tell me), and it causes a bit of a disconnect at times. I get frustrated and decide I'm going to have to find the answers myself, but my time is taken up with their agenda! I have to remember, I am paying them for their agenda. That's what school is all about. (duh) I can either go along, or not. I've gone along so long now, as big an internal struggle as it's been, I might as well keep it up until the end. What's it going to hurt? I'll get a degree.

I know I must sound like a loonie tune. I get wound up pretty tight, sometimes. I'm like the girl who turns into a blueberry in "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." I want everything, NOW! I'll get over it. Luckily, I haven't floated away... yet.

John, I like what you said, "We get good at what we do." Thanks!

[Chris Saper]

When will you complete your degree/