Girl from Darfur

[Enzie Shahmiri]

I thought, I should take my own advise given in "Salon de Refus

[Enzie Shahmiri]

I have been working some more and here is another update...

Areas corrected:

hand - needed to get rounder
temple in shadow - lightened
nose - rounded more (still not happy though)
arm- rounded more (but uploaded image still looks flat)
side of nose - hot spot toned down in shadow
side of nose - value made lighter in lit area

[Mischa Milosevic]

Enzie, I visited your page sometimes today. I really liked what I saw. This evening, my time, this painting is in the critique section.

I quite like this painting and especially that you are doing this to help people in need.

I find this pose fascinating and I can see the attraction you have to it, knowing that you have a fascination for Oriental art..

I like what you have done so far. The background fits quite well. The red cloth works as well.

As for the portrait and the actual face it needs some drawing adjustments. I personally would start by re-defining all the shadow shapes of the face in value and actual shape. If you do this you will see where the drawing is off.

My monitor reeds green in the face. If you have the correct color/value you can add pink if you like if the color/value is correct. Can you see what I am saying? Also her skin is smooth even in the hands.

I hope I was able to help.
All the best to you

[Christy Talbott]

Hi Enzie, I think this is very nice work. The only thing I see that I think could use some adjustments is the flesh in the face. I see green in the face too, like Mischa.

The color in the hand is looking quite nice!

edit: Looking back once again I think some of the highlights on her shawl look chalky, losing too much chroma. Seeing that adjusted would be an improvement I think.

[Enzie Shahmiri]

Misha, you are absolutely correct, there are drawing errors, especially in the eyes. Thank you for pointing that out. I am going to do another run at the overlay in photoshop to see what else pops up.

Christy, yup I went overboard with my greens and agree that they need to be adjusted.

Thank you both for taking the time to look and offer critique. I have to clean my palette before I go any further. It's looking like a war zone!

I will post the adjustments as soon as they are fixed.

[Julie Deane]

I like the design and the colors, Enzie. I agree with the others that the face's drawing needs a recheck. That's a great hand, however!

All the building details in the background, while interesting, are a bit distracting. What about darkening them (or maybe just the roof) a few values so that the red of the dress and the face "pop" more?

If you darken the light value in the front post, which I feel is fighting for attention with the face, you will have achieved one front area (girl and post) and one background (building).Right now there are three areas (post/girl/background), and I think the post is winning.

[Enzie Shahmiri]

Thanks for the observations Julie!

You are right that darkening the area would bring the focus on the girl. I had darkened the background in photoshophere. After that experiment, the background got knocked down several values, which did wonders for the painting. I will check to see if making it daker further would help even more.

The post on the other hand, did not get that attention and will have to be looked at in photoshop. Maybe one more wash of raw umber will do the trick.

[Enzie Shahmiri]

Ok, here is the darken the background and post trial.

For those not familiar with the process in Photoshop:
1. Upload photo of WIP into Photoshop
2. Make a copy of original - Image - Duplicate - and work on copy
3. Click on Magic Wand Tool (next to lasso on tool box)
4. left click on mouse - on area you like to lighten or darken
5. hold down shift and continue left click - until deisred area is selected
6. Go to - Image- Adjustment - Brightness/Contrast
7. start moving tab around until you see the deisred change
8. If you like you can save for future comparison

This gives you an idea how much to darken or lighten before you ever touch the canvas. Of course there are shortcuts to these commands. Now if someone knows of an even better way to do this, please share with examples!

[Enzie Shahmiri]

I have taken all your suggestions to heart and here is what I did. First I checked the drawing and wow, amazing how what first was right can creep away from you as your are working. Lots of things had to get adjusted and lesson learned was: "Keep remeasuring at every stage!"

The tree trunk/post was rather flat and needed some turning. Did that by graying down values as they got closer to the girl's face.

Julie, I decided not to change the background. I do agree with your observation in general, but I think in this case the girl is so strong in both dominant color red and dark brown, that the background can stay lighter.

Looking at my reference the Sudanese girl has a very dark skin complexion almost like dark, bitter chocolate. So, her skin was darkened further.

While doing that I also tried to pay closer attention to the hierarchy of values in the face. I still think that area could get improved some more.

Since I darkened the skin, the red of the cloth had to get adjusted as well. And on an on it went...

There are still areas that could get better, but I am taking a break from painting today!

[Mischa Milosevic]

Enzie, this is looking real good. The changes you have made have improved the painting much.

At this stage, I think that there are two things that you can consider.
One, what is more important the hand or the face. Sure the hand is there but it should not dominate. Don't you think? As is, the hand has many sharp lines, brush strokes, value shifts that grab the eye. I would even consider shrinking the hand entirely ever so slightly. Then I would paint it as a soft cylindrical form fingers as well, constantly keeping in mind what is shadow what is light. When I have done this then I would hint at bone structure using a slight variation in value or temperature.

Second, there should be a definite distinction between face in light and face in shadow. This must be evident otherwise you will not have the punch. Remember the shadows are your anchor and the half tones tell the entire story. If you see strong highlights, like the bridge of the nose, don't paint them that bright. Remember this is a photo reference. You as the artist will create the illusion of realistic planes. Strong and bright reflection, where we use white does not occur on skin in real life.

The whites of the eyes mite be to bright.

If you care to brighten the reds try mixing some cad orange with your cad red

When looking to your painting envision that a person is in front of you and not a photo. Think about skin, not photo.

I hope that you will accept what I say as words of encouragement.

I sincerely wish you the best.