Artsy Jokes

[Elizabeth Schott]

I remembered that Karin started an "Artsy Quotes" thread, but I wasn't sure if there was one for some art related funnies...

Here is one I received today, it is a bit sophomoric, but clever:

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and the make such an obvious error, he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings. I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(And you thought I didn't have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.)
Well, I figure I have nothing Toulouse.

[Richard Budig]

Well, there's that comment from Richard Schmid when he was differentiating art (painting) from sculpture.

"Sculpture is what you bump into when your backing up to see the art."

He said this on one of his DVD viideos.

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And Dan Greene tells the story about the workshop student who was having trouble handling foreshortening in a 3/4 view portrait, so she just drew a big bump on the far side of the face and inserted a regular sized eye. When Mr. Greene pointed out to her that the model's face didn't look like that, she replied that she came from a very small town near the arctic circle, and that it would be okay because no one up there knew the model, so they wouldn't be the wiser about the model's real appearance.

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Or, there's a former neighbor of mine who borrowed a few painting supplies beause she wanted to try painting. A few days later, there was an agry knock on my door. "I'm not getting this," she said, and added, "if I don't get it by Friday, I'm quitting." I asked what was she trying to paint . . . what had she drawn on her canvas. "Draw . . . draw . . . ???" she sputtered. "I don't want to draw, I want to paint." I exlained that mostly, painting derived from drawing and that she would probably have difficulty until she at least outlined on her canvas what she had in her mind. My painting supplies appeared on my porch a short time later.

[Michele Rushworth]

"Sculpture is what you bump into when you're backing up to see the art."

LOL!!!!!

[Steve Craighead]

Back in my college days I had an art history class with Richard Brettell, the Impressionist scholar. He told us a joke about Renoir, who in his latter years had very poor eyesight. Renoir, if you recall, did a lot of paintings of nudes in a very very soft manner. So, one day after many years of painting without glasses, his wife convinces him to get a pair. Upon seeing his paintings for the first time with his glasses he turns to his wife and says, "Sacre merde, il est Bougereau!!"

O.k. well, its not Jay Leno, but it got a chuckle in the class.

[Steven Sweeney]

I know there's a cartoon thread around here somewhere, but it's hiding from me . . .

Anyway, this actual facsimile of an exchange just this morning between me and my housemate, whose name truly is Mona Lisa.

[Enzie Shahmiri]

Steven, you made me chuckle! Does this mean you are working at the easel again?!

[Steven Sweeney]

Not very actively, Enzie -- though I did purchase an oil painting yesterday, so I'm at least trying to stimulate the arts economy. It was a nice little winter scene, by my former instructor, none of whose work I had previously owned. It looks very nice in the dining room, even as winter begins to set in at this latitude.

At surface level, the little Far Side cartoon is amusing, but I also find interesting the underlying message, about perspective. To his dog, the Great Master's paintings are of no particular interest. If the guy can't remember to toss some kibble in the bowl once in a while, of what use is he?

Too, outside our spheres of interests and influence, we're essentially unknown and "useless" -- not meant in a pejorative sense, but in the sense that, to the taxpayer who needs accounting assistance in April, our work won't help, or to the motorist stranded on a mountain trail when the tie-rod falls off his F-150, the fact that I paint isn't of much value.

It's a useful exercise in humility, I think, to occasionally take note of the fact that it's not the case that the whole world is watching what we're doing here, unless of course they're waiting for dinner or some mechanical assistance underneath the truck. There are myriad ways to live masterfully.

Now I have to go feed Mona.

[Enzie Shahmiri]

Very true Steven!

[Michele Rushworth]

Ah...perspective! (And not the kind that makes railroad tracks meet at the horizon.)

My middle school age kids give me a healthy dose of much needed perspective every day, much like the dog in the cartoon. They don't give a hoot about my commissions, whether I'm meeting with any important people next week or whether I won a prize somewhere. If I'm not also making dinner and driving them to soccer, none of the rest matters!

[Carol Norton]

After reading all the above contributions to this subject from the dog's point of view on, others will see the connection between the quote below to the discussion.

David Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.... from one of his tapes,) "In the world of idiots, you're a genius, but in the world of geniuses, you're an idiot."

I guess, if you are looking from the dog's point of view and haven't filled his food bowl, no matter how masterful your portrait is, you're an ........IDIOT!