Jeffrey

[Garth Parker]

Jeffrey is 24x30

[Mike McCarty]

Garth/Jerome,

I like this very much.

I don't have as much time as your nice painting deserves, but I would offer the following observations:

The one thing that I find somewhat incongruous is the way the white shirt competes for my attention. It's high key and sharp contrast is diminishing the muted affect you've achieved for your subject. Personally, I would reduce the influence of the white shirt a great deal.

At first blush the hands seem a bit larger than they would ordinarily be.

I would love to see some better reproductions posted.

[Ilaria Rosselli Del Turco]

Jerome, I second Mike's opinion on the shirt. You have painted the head very carefully, but the shirt is not as good.
I suggest that you go and look at some Renaissance painting, maybe Tiziano or Bronzino. You might find help on how to paint the folds in a more convincing way.
To me the hands don't look too large, but the shoulders might be smaller than they should, perhaps you should recheck your measurments.

I really believe this work deserves a little more time: the composition is balanced and the face well painted and solidly built.
You should make an effort to paint the shirt up to these standards. Don't forget a good way of judging your work could be to view it in a black and white reproduction : if you have a photo ref just turn it B&W also, all the tones will appear clear. I think that the shirt is too bright in places and too dark in some folds.
Let us know how is it going if you rework it.

Ilaria

[Alexandra Tyng]

Hi Jerome,

This composition is really well-balanced. I love the horizontal format and the position and placement of the figure.

Such a nice composition deserves a little more attention to the values. I agree with Mike and Ilaria that the white shirt could use reworking. You have a very bright white and extremely dark shadow in one object. If you think in terms of value massing, the shirt should hang together and read as one element. Because it is the lightest value, the shadows in it should be relatively light. The wrinkles could also be simplified, especially in the sleeve nearer to the viewer. The very dark crease in the forearm part of the sleeve seems not only too dark, but out of place. I would expect to see some gathering near the wrist.

You might also consider toning down the light areas on the shirt , not only to bring the value down, but also to reduce the contrast between the light and shadow.

The hat or headscarf suffers from a lack of roundness. Judging from the light on the face, I would expect to see some light on the cloth as it rounds the forehead.

[Terri Ficenec]

Hi Jerome--
I agree with the comments above. . . this piece has a whole lot going for it! You might also want to look for bone/structural high points and shapes around his wrists especially to give more of a clue to what position his hands are really in. The interlaced fingers read well . . . but the wrists and elbows are lost. . . I'm thinking we should be seeing some structure at both (the wrists directly. . . the elbows impacting the folds of the fabric)

Very nice so far!!

[Garth Parker]

Mike, Ilaria, Alex and Terri,
Thank you so much for taking a look at this. I was looking to paint the clothing loosely but the contrast does seem overly sharp. I

[Cindy Procious]

Jerome, I like this a lot. The face is rendered very well, and I agree with the comments made about the shirt. My only addition to the critique would be to be careful with the background - you're approaching "photo-studio backdrop kitch".

I wonder - is he dressed in period costume? Maybe he's a Renaissance Festival guy? His shirt, in particular, with its gathered wrist, seems like a costume.

[Garth Herrick]

Hi Garth (Love your name, Jerome),

All good comments above. I too think this portait has a lot of good refreshing things going for it. I actually like the shirt, punchy as it is. It reminds me of a Van Gogh reproduction I grew up with, and also reminds me of some favorite Cezannes; so I'm all for the loose blocky forms if that is the effect you are after.

I too would be careful of the background treatment, as Cindy pointed out. Also be careful of the seeming lack of roundness or form in the darkest passages, like the cap. What I mean is, try to avoid sinking into black holes that are aimless and formless. Even the darkest passages should resonate as a form, turning plane, or color, to tie it all together whith that white shirt. If the reference image lacks this info, then try recontructing some of the data for the black holes from a still life mock-up or someone posing in life, and you will resolve those voids.

Great composition!

Garth

[Mari DeRuntz]

Jerome,

Actually I was intrigued with the treatment of the shirt because it almost looks like you are pushing color in the lights - but this is hard to see in the image on the screen.

If the shirt does push color and temperature to pop the form, a similar treatment in the flesh would work wonders: for the flesh my mind is calling for a clear treatment of up planes and down planes, not just light and shadow.

I agree with the comments above: the bone in my throat is the background. Even atmosphere can be solidly painted.

Good luck; keep us posted.

[Garth Parker]

Cindy, Garth and Mari,
I appreciate your comments and critique.
I changed the