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Old 11-30-2005, 10:59 PM   #1
Kimber Scott Kimber Scott is offline
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How do you cope with a bad painting day?




I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith - in myself, mostly. I've been working on a self-portrait, which was actually coming together quite nicely. I could have called it done. It wasn't nice enough, though. So, yesterday, I decided to work on it some more. I don't know what happened. I don't know if I left and went to another plane of existence, or had some kind of walking black-out, or what, but by the end of the day, the planes on the side of my head were fanned out like fish gills and I had this horrible grey reflected light coming off both sides of my face. All my edges were lost, my eyes didn't line up anymore, my lips turned this horrible hooker red and swelled up like I'd just had collagen injections. I wanted to cry. The more I tried to fix myself, the worse I got. Finally, I left my studio, came home exhausted and went to sleep.

I've had bad painting days before and many times after I've slept them off, I go back to the painting and it's not as bad as I thought it was in the first place. Not this time. I got to my studio this morning to find this hideous monster staring at me. I had to start over. It was such a mess. I began laying in the darks and by the time I had to leave for school I thought maybe I had rescued myself, but I'd lost my confidence. (Not that I have much in the first place, but what I had, I lost.) I talked a little about it with my professor and he said sometimes that happens to him. I'm sure he doesn't end up with fish-faced ,collagen-lipped portraits, he actually can paint, but he said he gets very frustrated sometimes.

After class I went back to my studio to check myself out and I'm still in need of a lot of work, but I've made definite strides towards being a real person - not some grey-gilled alien. I'm still very upset, though and I'm wondering - well, two things: First, is there some kind of compulsive illness that causes one to take a perfectly good painting and destroy it? And, second, what do I do about it? Well, ok, three things... Third, if you have a bad painting day, what do you do to make yourself feel better?
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Old 11-30-2005, 11:12 PM   #2
Linda Brandon Linda Brandon is offline
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Kimber, the problem is probably just that it's a self-portrait. I've never painted one that didn't suck the oxygen out of the room for a while. Just lock it in a closet and start something else, you can always go back to it later.

Hang in there!
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Old 12-01-2005, 12:13 AM   #3
Lacey Lewis Lacey Lewis is offline
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I don't have any answers, but man, I know what you mean! There are times when I feel I know nothing about painting, or about art, or about much of anything for that matter. I get really upset, too and wonder if there is any point in picking up a brush again.

Then I am grumpy, and I can't even seem to enjoy a good meal. And my poor family that has to put up with me...

Now, I'd like to think that this is all part of the process of learning and growing. There were times when I struggled like this, and afterwards made great strides. But not always!

So, I would be glad to hear what others do to tame the madness! And maybe, at least, you will feel better that you are not the only one who ends up wrecking paintings again and again and gets no where and feels miserable? (Did you see my thread with the bridal portrait profile!?!)

OK, sorry, not my thread to rant.
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Old 12-01-2005, 12:37 AM   #4
Kimber Scott Kimber Scott is offline
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Thanks, Linda. I'm sure that's what I NEED to do. Unfortunately, I'm supposed to turn this thing in for a grade. Oh, I hope the gods don't let me embarrass myself in public. I have until Monday...

Lacey, rant away. It does help me to know I'm not the only one. Last semester, I read Emile Zola's "The Masterpiece." I've talked about it here before. This book really sticks with me, though, because I feel I behave just as the main character, Claude, did in the book. He'd start a painting, it would take off really well, then he'd keep messing with it and messing with it until it turned into a mess. Unfortunately, things didn't turn out so well for him. Now, I'm not that bad, but I can really feel his pain!

I'm thinking hot chocolate might help...
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Old 12-01-2005, 10:13 AM   #5
Tom Edgerton Tom Edgerton is offline
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99% of the time, if I am self-destructing at the easel, it's because I'm tired. So I do business maintenance, straighten up the studio, and go away. Flailing at the canvas when you're exhausted never amounts to anything but a waste of time.

Trust that what you've invested and learned in getting to your current level of proficiency won't go away because of one bad session.

Best--TE
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Old 12-01-2005, 10:22 AM   #6
Joan Breckwoldt Joan Breckwoldt is offline
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Keep going

Hi Kimber,

I think you must have more confidence than you think because I didn't see any indication that you're thinking of giving up painting! It looks like from your post there is no question of you stopping painting. And, that's what I have done in the past, I've gotten so frustrated when I couldn't solve a problem (when I was trying glazing mostly) that I just stopped painting for months!

So, you're doing the right thing, you're keeping at it. That's all we can do. And try to remember that every painting and all the time spent in front of the easel is learning. I'm better about remembering that now, and even when a painting doesn't turn out, I try to remind myself that I'm learning all the time.

And chocolate does help! So does a day or two off.

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Old 12-01-2005, 10:40 AM   #7
Lacey Lewis Lacey Lewis is offline
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Months without painting!?!

I think I am going to faint...
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Old 12-01-2005, 11:15 AM   #8
Joan Breckwoldt Joan Breckwoldt is offline
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Yes, months!

Yes, months! My kids were younger, I took a night class (still life) one summer a few years ago, then I got interested in glazing portraits. I tried it at home but just couldn't get it. I got a lot of help from the forum but didn't have an instructor or anybody to help me out, or encourage me. Then the kids started school, things got busy, holidays came, we moved, a few more months went by. I was diong a lot of volunteering at my kids' school, had an antique shop for 6 months, I was certainly keeping busy, but not with painting.

I eventually signed up for a portrait class here in Houston, it wasn't very good at all, not much help from the teacher, lost steam and went on to something else. Then a year ago I found a great still life teacher and that got me painting every week! And through him I found a wonderful portrait instructor!!! I've been painting on and off like this for years, until now. Now I'm serious about it!

This brings to mind something I read on the forum years ago. Somebody asked how does one find the time to paint every day? The answers were basically "I don't do anything else". I thought that sounded crazy, but now that I've committed to learning how to paint, I've found I've done the same thing. I only volunteer at my kids' school minimally. I don't do a lot with friends because that takes away from painting. I don't even like going to the grocery store because that takes time away from painting, though it has to be done. I can't remember the last time I was in any kind of department store. The only store ever go to is the ART store for things I need that day, the rest is ordered online. I do belong to a prayer group but that's only an hour each week. So, now I understand what people were talking about those years ago because I have the same attitude.

Sorry, got off track there.

Joan
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Old 12-01-2005, 02:18 PM   #9
Michele Rushworth Michele Rushworth is offline
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Tom wrote:
Quote:
99% of the time, if I am self-destructing at the easel, it's because I'm tired. So I do business maintenance, straighten up the studio, and go away. Flailing at the canvas when you're exhausted never amounts to anything but a waste of time.
I find the same thing. If I paint when I'm tired there's a triple danger: I don't accomplish anything worthwhile, I have to repaint that section the next day anyway since it wasn't any good, and I get frustrated.

So, while I want to paint pretty much all the time, I know I can't physically or mentally do that. I need to go take care of other things or rest up for the next day so I that do have a good painting session. (I guess I know I'm addicted to painting when I start wishing there was some magic drink I could take that would give me all the energy I need and never have to stop, rest or sleep. And no, Starbucks hasn't yet invented the perfect concoction that quite does the trick!)
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Old 12-01-2005, 04:04 PM   #10
Kimberly Dow Kimberly Dow is offline
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If I skipped painting when I was tired - I'd never paint at all. Some of my best work is done when my eyes are bloodshot, my hands shaking and the house falling down around me.

Ok. I admit, I shouldnt be giving advice and this way isnt for everyone. Maybe not anyone.
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