Hi, Tiffany,
This is quite a nice drawing, reminding me immediately of the style of a pencil artist named Don Greytak. You may find
his website interesting, particular the images of children and home life.
I agree with Chuck that some attention to values would bring this well along. Briefly, my recommendations would be: 1) SQUINT at both the reference and your drawing, in order to eliminate much of the detail and reduce the image to a value pattern, and then 2)
preserve that value pattern by a) not looking too deeply into the darker values to try to find lights and b) maintaining the overall value shapes by not letting excessively light or dark