Another peer critique before repairs?

[Minh Thong]

I completed this self-portrait from life/mirror in November at the start of my 'painting season', after having been away from the easel since April or so. And now after drawing and painting for the last few months, and being able to see the glaring errors more readily, I want to dive back into it and try to fix the biggest problems. Here's what I have so far:

* Ear is horrendous; needs complete redo
* Hair is pretty bad, in general
* Description of form where the cheek meets the nose is lacking (many other places I'm sure)
* Need to better describe the turns around my big nose (How?) and fix the nostril
* Right-side eye is fundamentally wrong
* Lips do not recede properly into shadow and so they look 'clipped'

Would some kind soul add to my still-growing list?

Thanks for any asistance at all.

Minh

[Steven Sweeney]

Looks like a pretty good list. Some things may not need as much work as you think. I guess I'd think in terms not so much as mastering the complexity, but recapturing the simplicity.

For example, you've identified the problem with the orientation of the eye on our right. And you're correct in that, but forget for now that it's an eye -- which in turn will help you see the larger value shape in which it lies and resist the urge, say, to paint a very light "white of the eye" just because, "well, this is an eye, and an eye has to have a white part, so I'll paint this white."

[Can't recall which painter was being quoted -- Monet, I believe -- though Lao-Tse said the same thing in a different way a long time ago: In order to see, you must forget the names of the things you are painting.]

Remember that the hair is, first, a form in light, and later, judiciously added strands.

And keep "drawing" as you paint, cross-checking reference points. What's the relation between the top of the ear and the eyebrow? The relation between the outside contour of the ear and the point at which the neck meets the shoulder? Is the slope of the edge of the neck correct? Is the difference in "elevation" between the bottom of the chin and the top of the shoulder (in the deltoid area) a problem? (Maybe, maybe not -- depends on whether you're going for a stylized effect.)

You've got your dark darks and light lights. Employ more halftones between them to help you with rounding out forms such as the nose.

I don't think I added to your list, just kneaded it a little.

[Minh Thong]

Thanks for the feedback, it's greatly appreciated. I hope to dig into it this weekend and since I've been trying to 'see' better, and then more faithfully translate what I'm seeing to canvas, I hope I can improve this radically. I've even started trying to primarily use my left eye (someone told me right-handers are usually stronger in the left eye) and take three looks in the mirror for every one look at the canvas.

I'm desperate ... I'll try anything.

Thanks again!

Minh

[Jeff Fuchs]

My suggestion is the same I have given to many people, many times. Consider this a finished piece, and start another one from scratch. You'll learn more from a new painting than you will from re-working an old one. The results will probably be better as well.

[Minh Thong]

Hey! My drawing coach! How's the weather down in the Bayou?

I had considered just starting over, but I have this one framed and hanging in my office to remind me of my failures and limitations, of which I have had many (of both).

My time has become rather limited lately, here in the middle of my 'drawing and painting season', so I'm not sure I have enough time to do a whole new self-portrait. So, I thought I'd try to fix the worst things things on this monstrosity, then do another one when I start again in the Fall.

Have you posted anything in the WC Portraiture forums lately? I'm not on much these days and may have missed it.

Thanks for the feedback, and if you're ever in Slidell, please tell my half-sister I said "Hey girl ... how's ya momer'n 'em?"

Minh

[Jeff Fuchs]

Have you posted anything in the WC Portraiture forums lately? I'm not on much these days and may have missed it.

I just posted one while I was home for lunch a few minutes ago. It was a charcoal from last night's life session.