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04-12-2003, 07:22 PM
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#1
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Associate Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 132
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Stefanie's Cello
Hello everyone!
I have been a member of this Forum for a long time, and although my progress has been slow because of time restrictions and a full-time day job, I have never given up the dream of taking this from a part-time prospect, to a full-time dream. In one more year, I will have enough years in my current job to be able to afford to devote myself to this endeavor full time.
My reason for requesting this critique is simple. I want some straightforward information on improving, and I want to know if you think I have potential. I am not submitting a photo for comparison. I think a portrait should be judged on its own merit, not nitpickingly compared to a photo. Besides, this portrait was made from a combination of different photos during the model's absence, and an occasional sitting.
I'm getting the hang of this Nikon 995, but it's still not up to par with the actual portrait.
This is Stefanie, my daughter's best friend. I gave her and her cello a ride home one day and she agreed to sit for me. I actually did several photos of her playing her cello, but really liked this pose, because she showed such "affection" for her cello.
I once read a rather puzzling post about the world not needing another painting of a cello. Maybe that's why this appealed to me so much. I've always been on the rebellious side!
Here's "Stefanie's Cello".
24" X 18" on Belgian Linen
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Marta Prime
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04-12-2003, 07:24 PM
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#2
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Associate Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 132
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Close Up
Here's the close up.
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Marta Prime
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04-13-2003, 12:06 AM
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#3
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Juried Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,734
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Of course you have "potential", Marta, and lots of it. With some adjustments this could be a beautiful piece to showcase your talents.
The first thing that jumps out at me is the eye on our left side. Generally speaking, the corners of eyes should line up with the edges of nostrils. (Hold a pencil up to the side of your nose and check this out for yourself in the mirror. The line may be off a bit - mine is - but it's safe to bet it will be the same distance "off" on the other side, too.)That position stays the same even if the head is tilted; that is, the eye doesn't slide off the face like a loose cannon in a storm. That eye also appears to be looking down. You're going to have to perform an eye transplant, like it or not. This is the kind of detail that you have to get exactly right. Post back here if you have never moved a whole eye on an oil painting and would like encouragement.
I'd eliminate or greatly reduce that line from the nose to the mouth on the right side. Without seeing your reference photo I'm not sure what's going on there, but see what you can do with subtle color changes. Remember that Caucasians have a reddish band across the middle of their faces, encompassing noses, cheeks and ears.
Hold your reference photo up to the light and really look at her neck - I'm betting that the shadow isn't as dark as you've made it here. Put more time into your sitter's clothing, too, and find believable folds and shadows.
You need to put some bones and knuckles into that hand on the left side.
I know you don't want any "nitpicking" and so I hestitate to go further. I will if you want me to.
One thing is for sure: you've put a lot of love into painting that cello, making me wonder whether you're a musician yourself, perhaps?
Best regards,
Linda
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04-13-2003, 01:13 AM
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#4
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Associate Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 132
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Thanks Linda!
Exactly the kind of things I need to hear! An eye transplant...now I had to laugh, even if it is true! I think it is so amazing how things you never noticed jumps out at others. Obviously I have a lot more hours to put in.
Your comments are sincerly appreciated! Thank you so much.
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Marta Prime
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04-13-2003, 09:26 AM
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#5
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PHOTOGRAPHY MODERATOR SOG Member '03 Finalist Taos SOPA '03 HonMen SoCal ASOPA '03 Finalist SoCal ASOPA '04 Finalist Taos SOPA
Joined: Dec 2001
Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Posts: 2,674
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Marta,
I think the world can make room for one more cello painting. I like your composition very much.
I am in the process of doing a mouth transplant. It's an aggravating prospect and makes you appreciate the "measure twice, mark once" axiom.
This painting of your friend and her cello has great potential. Time spent is irrelevant.
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Mike McCarty
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04-13-2003, 11:04 AM
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#6
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Associate Member SoCal-ASOPA Founder FT Professional
Joined: Sep 2002
Location: Laguna Hills, CA
Posts: 1,395
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Dear Marta,
The cello is absolutely beautiful! It is well defined and seems solid. Besides the wonderful recommendations you have been given, I would also recommend looking at her chin again and comparing it to your reference. It seems to droop towards our left and I would slightly shave that off or check how the impression of the chin on the hand casts a shadow. Again without a reference photo it's hard to say what needs correcting, but simply looking at it that stood out as being a bit off.
Follow your dream and keep painting!
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04-13-2003, 11:26 AM
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#7
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CAFE & BUSINESS MODERATOR SOG Member FT Professional
Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,460
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Great cello!
I see problems with the other areas in the painting and I think I can figure out why. You wrote:
Quote:
Besides, this portrait was made from a combination of different photos during the model's absence, and an occasional sitting.
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Working from many different reference sources may have led to the main problem I see in the rest of the painting.
The face and clothing looks "made up", like you had to cobble together information from life and more than one photo, which were perhaps shot from different angles and showed different expressions. I find that combining information from a variety of references is one of the most difficult things to do, and is sometimes downright impossible.
I would recommend choosing only ONE face photo to work from. You can use other photos for the clothing, but again, choose one main one. Any place where you have to make something up or combine different arm angles, etc, will throw you off.
Even better, if she will sit for you again, work only from that same life pose, and/or from one main photo that you take in the exact same lighting she's posing in and the exact same angle you're painting from.
I think this will help you a lot.
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04-13-2003, 11:38 AM
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#8
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STUDIO & HISTORICAL MODERATOR
Joined: Apr 2002
Location: Southern Pines, NC
Posts: 487
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Some excellent advice in this thread.
Along the lines of what Michele's commenting on, there's a beautifully detailed visual example of how to use multiple resources on this month's newsstand - p. 66 of the May 2003 Artists Magazine has a short piece by Jason Bouldin on using multiple resources (photos, compositional sketches, life drawings, color studies) for portraiture.
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04-13-2003, 02:19 PM
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#9
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Associate Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 132
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Thank you all so much for your kind and helpful comments!
Mike: Thanks for taking a potentialy gut wrenching experience and making me relax about it!
Enzie: I'll look at the chin again. Thanks. And I will keep painting, even if MY chin droops for awhile.
Michelle: Confession: I did use one particular photo reference for her face, however, her hair was drooping over that eye and I couldn't see it well enough. Perhaps Karin's warning about bad photo references applies more than I wanted to admit. I'll work on it.
Mari: Thanks for the great resource and taking the time to help!
This painting is pretty much a learning tool, not a gift or commission, so I have no problem digging in and trying some changes. If I get to the point that I'm sick of it, I'll just start a new painting. Each one seems to go a little better.
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Marta Prime
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04-13-2003, 06:01 PM
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#10
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Juried Member
Joined: Mar 2003
Location: Hampton, VA
Posts: 90
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Marta,
What a beautiful and sensitive composition! I love the posture of ease and confidence that Stephanie displays with her cello and her soulful and direct gaze speaks volumes about her passion for her instrument. Once you iron out some of the technical problems with this piece, I believe it will be a very strong painting indeed. Good job!
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Valerie Parsons Gudorf, Open Heart Studio
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