Betsy's Grandaughter

Julie Deane · 09-20-2007, 05:41 PM

I appreciate your reply, Alex. I get disappointed when I put up something for a critique and there is no response. I'm here to learn.

This was a poor first attempt at trying to do a vignette, and I can say now that as a vignette it does not seem to have succeeded. I tried to put an "S" shape in the background to give it some sort of structure, but did feel at a loss as to what I should do with the arms.

So - here is how it looks if I cut it down in size: one 16 x 20 and the other 14 x 18.

Alexandra Tyng · 09-20-2007, 05:54 PM

Julie,

I like the smallest one the best. It seems to make the most sense and feels right within the dimensions. This size is not unusual for a head and shoulders portrait.

However i would still do more to make the shirt read as three-dimensional with a definite shape, not a lot of detail, but some crisp edges in the lights, maybe at the neck, with a shadow behind on the skin where appropriate. The crispness can fade towrd the edges, but I believe it is important to show the form especially around the neck and shoulders, and indicate the shape of the arms and placement of the underarms.

Julie Deane · 09-20-2007, 06:13 PM

Yes, I see what you mean. I'll post again after I get a chance to do this.

Enzie Shahmiri · 10-08-2007, 02:11 PM

Julie, it is a nice friendly looking vignette and I think it should serve you well as a portfolio addition, especially after cropping it a bit as Alexandra suggested.

What I noticed is the shadow on the girl's right cheeck and neck. To make that area recede I would add a bit of grey and tone it down. I find it too chromatic the way I see it on my screen.