Real vs. Creative Life

[Jimmie Arroyo]

I don't want to forget to include this, so I'll say it first. Heidi, I'm sorry to hear about your husband's illness. My wife used to work for the Parkinson's Disease Foundation in New York City. Unfortunately, she resigned because the Foundation was more interested in putting money into research rather than helping the patients with personal programs and support groups. Because of this, she is now in school for Nursing.

Pat, time is a horrible enemy. I tried my best to squeeze time whenever I could and lost literally thousands of hours of much needed sleep. Working till 2 or 3am, then to wake up at 7am was too much for me after 2 straight years. I thought after living with insomnia for so many years before, that forced insomnia would be a piece of cake. I'm forcing myself to stay up again, it's extremely hard, a freezing attic does'nt help.

We are hardly getting by on bills, always have to tap into the savings to pay the mortgage, but I also have a daughter, and I've already lived my childhood in near poverty level, so there's no way in hell I'll let her live that way. She's why I continue, I can only hope it'll have been worth it. If not, I'm kicking her out of the house at 18, hahahaha.

Good luck Pat.

[Richard Monro]

Pat,
Life is way too short to waste it on a job you hate and transitions are very, VERY scary...but almost always worth it if they allow you to live life with purpose, passion and creativity. Early in my career I worked for corporate America for 7 miserable years (making an extraordinarily living I might add) until one day I had enough. With my very supportive wife a two year old son and a newborn daughter, I sold our large house and moved into an apartment over a garage while I pursued my passion. We went almost a year with no income while living off of saving. Two years later we were doing well enough to buy another home. I would do it again in a heart beat and wonder why I waited so long. Be creative in downsizing. It is amazing how little one can live on if you must.

You have a talent for impressionistic painting. I loved the feel of the one you posted. Good impressionism still sells. Turn these paintings into giclees and peddle them to friends, neighbors, local shops, banks, restaurants...well you get the idea. Use this money to support your particular painting passion whatever it is. Remember that you MUST spend half of your time marketing and selling. Far too many of us forget that these tasks are a very important part of our job. I wish you the best. Take the leap!

[Julie Deane]

Pat -

I was going through the same resentment big time last year. This year, I seem to have come to terms with things. I decided that I like having some financial security, I like my full-time job because it helps kids (speech therapy in the school system) which I find fulfilling. I could not produce good art if I was constantly worried about where my income was coming from. I went through lots of options last year in my thoughts, but ended up working the same amount of hours as before, although with some flextime built in this school year. The big difference for me between my misery last year and my present attitude was accepting my limitations and deciding to work within them. "Acceptance is the key".

Right now I'm extremely busy, because I got a lot of small commissions right after the beginning of November - most due by Christmas, of course! At least with my job, I have extra vacation time, which helps. Also, having an ice storm in the area bought me an extra day. Still, the house is a wreck, my teen son keeps asking me what is there to eat (I point him to the fridge - "fix it yourself") and he sulks that it's Christmas time and we still haven't gone to see the movie we had been planning to see but can't because of my deadlines. Oh well....c'est la vie.

Hope this helps.

Julie

[Kimberly Dow]

Pat,

Personally, I think your in a good situation. Only 40 hours? with no kids in the house or spouse to clean up after, cook for, iron for, etc? No band, socceer, tae kwon do practices to chauffer to? No dentists, orthodontists appointments to keep straight for a whole family? No PTA, boy scouts or youth groups to chaperone? No health problems that can stop you?

I'll encourage you the only way I know how to. You have a good situation there for making a go of your art - comparitively speaking. If you want it bad enough - you will do it. It isnt your 40 hours of working that is stopping you. There are many of us that do that, or do 40 hours of other things combined because of demands of families. The only thing stopping you is you. There isnt anyone for you to be resentful towards...you only have to support yourself.

My best piece of advice - drink more coffee.

At one point for a couple years I had 3 children home with me, 2 in diapers. I did medical transcription for about 50 hours a week...stopping to change diapers, cook dinner, throw in laundry and saving children from falling in toilets or poking each others eyes out. I never stopped painting - I did that in the middle of the night and was able to produce 15 landscapes for a solo show in about 6 months. Granted, I didnt sleep much. I only could do it because I wanted it that bad.

Make up your mind that you want it. Dont be resentful - thats a waste of energy. And drink lots and lots of coffee.

I hope I dont sound harsh - everyone here is being so supporting. I like you lots Pat! I mean this as a reality check. I think you can do it! And I wish you luck. Remember though - there are many of us who wouldnt mind being in your situation....if we could find someone to take over our families.

[Julie Deane]

I'll second that advice about coffee. And don't forget diet Coke {my drug of choice lately)!

[Patricia Joyce]

".. kids in the house... spouse to clean up after, cook for, iron for, etc? ... band, socceer, tae kwon do practices to chauffer to? No dentists, orthodontists appointments to keep straight for a whole family? ...PTA, boy scouts or youth groups to chaperone? No health problems that can stop you?-Kim

Boy Kim, I remember those days. I did all that, single, working two jobs and going to college full time (that was when I was first diagnosed with CFSD, an autoimmunie disorder). It has been five years since my last child moved out on his own, I finished my degree, and quit my second job. . .

It is true, I AM what is keeping me back. FEAR of the unknown and FEAR of being foolish. My family already thinks I am foolish and would believe I had jumped off the deep end if I quite working full time and devote more of my time to my art. But then my family cannot live my life, only I can.

I believe this is my winter to really decide what I will be doing come summer, since I would be foolish to do anything before March when I am vested. My goal is to be working less then 40 hours a week and still support myself so that I can spend more hours painting and selling portraits, whether that will happen in Cleveland or down south remains to be seen. Janel your idea is great, but would be a no go with the nuns, unfortunately. But working for them part time is a more likely option and one I may be able to live on.

Richard thank you for the idea of selling my prints. I have ordered a few and really like what they look like, having never done this before. I will try some of your marketing suggestions.

Thank you all for your comments and support, It makes me feel stronger. In the meantime I put in at least 20 hours this past weekend on a drawing which is coming along nicely - that puts a smile on my face!!!

Thank you all!

[Richard Monro]

Pat,
Here is another option to consider. When you are ready in your mind and heart (even if you are scared to death) to quit, approach your employer and ask to go to part time work such as two 10 hour days per week.

Tell them you still want medical and other benefits etc.. In most cases a company does not want to lose a valued employee and will make concessions. I have 3 friends who have done this exact thing. Your ace in the hole is that you will quit anyway if those conditions are not acceptable to them. They will sense your resolve ( or you can tell them outright that you will have to leave if an arrangement can't be made) and will make the necessary adjustments to keep you.

After March when you are fully vested, try it. You may be pleasantly surprised. If this subtle persuasion works, you have a built in cushion to get you started. If it doesn't work you have lost nothing anyway.

Forget about what people think. In the first place most aren't thinking anything at all. some will be jealous of your courage to go out on your own. and a few will be nay sayers just to be mean spirited. The only friends or family that really count are the ones that support and encourage you to go for your dream. The rest are black holes that just sap your vital energy. Avoid them at all costs.

[Julie Deane]

Pat -

I like how you are taking your frustration and channeling it into action. And how you're weighing your options. Glad you got 20 hours in on a picture - I'm jealous!

Julie