Time Management: How do you do it?

[Brenda Ellis]

Thank you, Patricia, for reviving this thread. I can relate!

But I guess right now I have it pretty good. I live alone. My apartment is small so there isn't that much to clean. (I have a yard with garden so that takes work but that is another love of mine). I have two cats, but cats are good because you don't have to walk them.
I just broke up with my long term relationship a couple of days ago. (It was my idea) and I couldn't be happier that, now, instead of having to sit around with him and try to think of things to do together, I can just paint or draw to my heart's content. No one can say, "You don't pay enough attention to me." Cats and laundry can't talk.

When I'm on my death bed, I doubt that I will think to myself, "gee, I should have mopped the kitchen floor more often." At least I hope my regrets will be grander than that!

I think women have it harder because, even in this day of gender equality, we still have to clean and cook and raise the kids, even though we are now also "free" to go out and work 40 hours a week!

My son is grown and living in another state. All my relatives are in another state, so I don't have to worry about that.
I have an active social life, but I can still have plenty of time during the week at nights to paint.
A solitary life gives one plenty of time to do what one likes.

The downside is sometimes I feel like I'm alone too much. I think we do have to balance all the aspects of our lives. And I have to enjoy what I'm doing and learning now with portraiture and let the future take care of itself. I feel the clock ticking too (we've shared about this before.) But I can't slow down time and I can't speed up my process. I have to accept both of those things if I want some sanity.

So if I get another partner, or a dog, I'll have less time to paint, but there are many aspects of me that need to be nurtured and fed. We have a theory in my day job: A person has to go away from their work to get more resources to come back and give to their work. If I spent every minute at the easel, I would not become a great artist, I would become a wreck. I have to be out and about seeing things and people and light and nature in order to put something on the canvas anyway.

I'm always looking and trying to see. I'm always responding to colors and shapes of things. I'm an artist no matter what I'm doing.

I bet, Patricia, that you wouldn't trade places with me for anything. When I'm on my deathbed, I probably will know how important family and relationships were. Maybe more important than painting.

[Patt Legg]

Hello Pat, I just read your post and the others. I have not revisited this site for awhile. I see it is still an ongoing discussion.

I can certainly relate to the "relatonship thing here". I spoke briefly about it in my other posts. It seems to have gotton worse. The comments from the other half has gone from you work too hard to " you have painted most of your life and if I had done that and still not accomplished any more than you have----I would have the sense to give it up."

Go figure !

I am trying to deal with it.

patt

[Anthony Emmolo]

Hello Patricia,
I believe we can all empathize with you to some degree or another. I've also had to remind people in my life that I am not spending time with a hobby, but it is a business. It helps greatly to have support from home on that issue. I feel lucky there. I have always gotten that support. I do feel giving support to the ones closest to us makes it more possible to receive what we want from them, in this case time in the studio.

Let us look at the situation from a different point of view- from the other person's point to view. Art is like a second lover. In many cases the relations in our lives realize they come in second place to our art. That is not an easy place to be for many people. It would be a lot more stimulating for many of them to just move on to a person who can give them all they crave. With that in mind let us think how we can show undying love and affection for the significant other and let him or her know that they are not the INsignificant other. Creatively thinking of ways to show love, "I love You" SMS's on the cell phone, a lovingly prepared romantic meal once in a while, a poem written by us or found among the archives of great poetry that we can read to our significant other are different ways to show partnership, love and dedication. Obviously being there during the hard times and listening empathically to the other person's thoughts are time proven ways of showing affection. I believe with these tactics, we won't have to demand time in the studio in the ways we may have to now. Our lover will feel more fed emotionally and probably be more supportive. There is no guarantee here, but it is a way to go. It will also help to build more emotional awareness in ourselves of the people around us. A quote I take seriously from Henry Ford goes like this. "If there is any one secret to success, it is in seeing things from the other person's point of view and then acting from that person's angle as well as your own." I feel it is a thought that will strengthen our relations in every area of our lives.

Lastly, and this is from a person who lives all the way in Shanghai and uses this website as a blood-line to other artists. I really appreciate the thoughts and the viewings of other artists work here. It is a God send. But with all of that in mind, MAYBE with over 700 times that you've written to the forum you can cut down on computer use. That is a time user to many of us.

Pat, I don't know how much time you use the computer, and I don't know how creatively attentive you are to your loved ones. So, if you feel this email is out of line, please don't take it personally. I see these writings by all of us as for all of us, so I hope they can help someone out there.

Yours,
Anthony

[Michele Rushworth]

Art is like a second lover. In many cases the relations in our lives realize they come in second place to our art. That is not an easy place to be for many people. It would be a lot more stimulating for many of them to just move on to a person who can give them all they crave. With that in mind let us think how we can show undying love and affection for the significant other and let him or her know that they are not the INsignificant other.

Very thoughtful words!

[Anthony Emmolo]

Hello again,

More thoughts on losing time.

I'm sitting in my studio painting and I found myself once again moving the brush with little to no concentration. What was the issue today? My part-time job here in Shanghai is English teaching. It pays well enough to keep me going comfortably when paintings don't sell. When they do, it is nice extra money. Well, two weeks ago we learned that our boss ran off to Taiwan without paying us a month and a half salary. The police are after her now, and her sales staff, teachers, school bus drivers and cleaning crew are all out a month and a half salary. My loss came out to $1,500US. My other loss came out to loss of concentration in the studio. I believe anyone would tell me I am correct for being angry, but still what do I get for it? Nothing but lost time. My feeling is that one way to be a real professional in this field is to grow through it. To use the pains that come into our lives to become a new person. To be used by those same pains is the sad truth for most of us, but with the aim toward inner growth, we can use the pain and not lose the valuable time we need.

Maybe I am speaking only for myself here, but I suspect we are all subject to this weakness to some degree or another.

By the way, it is this idea that fueled my recent thread called Chicken Soup for the Artist's Soul. (Catchy title, maybe I should write a book.)

Good luck to us all.
Anthony

[Patt Legg]

Mr. Emmolo--I can appreciate your view here but must say I am confused as to which Pat, Patricia--have you replied to Maybe both or all of us Patricias.

I first assumed it was me, Patt Legg but after your comment of "over 700" posts-I began to wonder. If you will notice I have only posted 230 times and the period is over 3 years.

Just my opinion of course. I am only speaking for myself but here goes:I shall only say that I may need "affidavits" or proof from my 5 adult children to verify the many hours I have put into "my relationship"over the years. Let's just say, I can do my own electrical wiring, roofing, building a deck, mending fences on 70 acre farm, cutting, stacking and carrying firewood in 10 degrees above 0, ironing, cooking 3 square meals a day for over 25 years ( at least 95% of them with everyone at the table at one time) motor-pool to/from meetings, cub scouts, 4-H, seeing 5 kids graduate with honors from high school, 3 of which went through college, moving 3 times with my hubby as that is what a wife does (in loving voice) supporting spiritually and emotionally through your spouses physical pain, bankruptcy, losing his self esteem, building character through all of his needs, adding notes between his sandwich slices occasionally ( love notes), setting up private " get aways" for us both on the sly after 20 years of marriage, acquiring his admiration in front of all of his friends as he states,'I would rather work with my wife than any man I know" she can read my mind.", -----
need I say more and believe me, I can say more.

Now Anthony, don't take this personally but

It helps greatly to have support from home on that issue. I feel lucky there. I have always gotten that support.

do you feel that the above resembles support? I must say in all honesty and with utmost respect to your opinion but I note that the support you are receiving is from "your wife" Correct?

I am not whining when I say, "it's time for me". I can say that and still have time to carry him coffee.

Best Regards
Patt

[Patt Legg]

Michele, I had not seen your reply quote until I had posted.

It would be a lot more stimulating for many of them to just move on to a person who can give them all they crave

I merely wish to add that some of us have lived this way for over 40 years and hope to be reciprocated in the next portion of our lives . For some of us we have been dedicated to our loved ones and still are but wish to have some consideration as being "validated" with the very life that we have worked toward. My art has taken LAST place for nearly all of those years and happily so. Now, I want to NOT feel guilty for the rest of them. Make sense??

I figure I speak for some of us anyway.

Patt

[Michele Rushworth]

Sounds like your recent commitment to your art is well deserved, Pat. Go for it!

[Patt Legg]

I appreciate that so very much Michele. I am afraid that I have been caught with some of my pain showing as in the following quote--

To use the pains that come into our lives to become a new person. To be used by those same pains is the sad truth for most of us, but with the aim toward inner growth, we can use the pain and not lose the valuable time we need.

Anthony, you are so right. I feel saddened for your loss. Maybe we can relate after all. Some of my irritation is due to similar circumstances and I am afraid that I have had a reaction to your words out of fear, sadness, and worry for some happenings in my own life at this time.

Thanks for letting me blow off steam and I pray that your life takes a brighter turn.

One door does not close without opening yet another one.

Take care
Patt