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Steve,
Quick and crude, here is my suggestion for your portrait of the young Paul Desmond. (I bought "Take Five" forty one years ago to test our first stereo).
I like the overall concept but want (or can't) to see something in the shadow areas and dabbed some light into the face on the shadow side. For what it's worth I thought the light in the dark area might provide a counterpoint to the dark eye on the light side. Did Dave use counterpoint?
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