Request for critique on couples composition

Will Enns · 03-11-2003, 10:06 PM

Since I first posted to this Forum on Sept. 7, I have learned a great deal, thanks to the generous advice that is to be found here. I've discovered edges, which is to say I now understand we don't need them everywhere; I've learned about skin tones, and how warm and cool colors may be applied to achieve skin colors in a believable fashion, and much more.

In this painting, I've applied all I've learned to the best of my ability. I think I've reached a point with it where any changes I make may not be the right ones.

Here we have the Schneiders. This is the painting that resulted from the discussion on composition for couples here.

I made some adjustments: de-emphasised his hand; reduced the amount of light on the dark side.

I would be much obliged for critique to help resolve issues I've missed. Feel free to cut, chop, manipulate, discombobulate, etc.

Watercolor, 22"x30"

Thanks in advance,

Will Enns · 03-11-2003, 10:09 PM

You may notice differences with her smile as painted. I repaired her smile, based on other reference I obtained during the photo shoot.

Will Enns · 03-11-2003, 10:13 PM

The hand. I allowed the painting to become looser further from the center of interest.

Chuck Yokota · 03-12-2003, 10:33 AM

Beautiful painting. I like the likeness and the feeling of unity between them.

I'm not qualified to address the larger issues, but I'll toss in my two cents about one detail. In the photo, the woman's head is turned very slightly to our left. In the painting, it looks more straight on, maybe because the jaw and smile on the lit side on our left is a little fuller. OK so far, but on the shadowed side, it makes the nasolabial fold look pulled out unnaturally far. Also in this area, the lighter value over the fold is too linear and doesn't blend convincingly into her cheek.

Will Enns · 03-12-2003, 12:47 PM

Thanks, Chuck.

You are right about that fold. It's clear now that you point it out. Isn't it amazing how we can look at something for hours without noticing something so obvious?

Will Enns · 03-14-2003, 09:34 PM

In the absense of critical commentary, I will post the advice I followed, which was my own, along with the final result. For better or worse, this will be going to the client soon, as they are anxious beyond my expectations.

1) Push the back of Mr.'s shirt into the shadows more, to give an appearence of roundness.

2) Ease the transition on Mr.'s cheekbone to soften the boxy look. (People's heads aren't made of boxes, after all.)

3) Darken inside of her right eye to enhance a spherical appearance.

4) Soften edges of beard (his).

5) Top of (his) pants should be in the shadow of his sleeve.

6) Sign it!

I would also like to thank each of the people who pointed me in the right direction during the planning stages of this portrait:

-Peggy Baumgaertner, on 3-value massing,
-Sharon Knettell, who suggested simplifying the composition and coordinating the apparel,
-Chris Saper, who wisely suggested appearing confident to the clients, even if that confidence was still under construction, and who gave good advice on color coordination,
-Steven Sweeney, who didn't comment directly on this painting, but whose comments on earlier efforts made a positive impact on how this one was executed,
-and the several others who took the time to comment on various aspects of the composition.

Again, I believe I have made progress that could never have happened were it not for this Forum. Thank you Cynthia for your diligent efforts.

Cynthia Daniel · 03-14-2003, 09:51 PM

Thank you Will for your expressions of appreciation. It certainly has come a long way. Well done!

Michele Rushworth · 03-15-2003, 12:11 AM

Hi Will,

Thought I'd jump in here, if it's not too late for you to make changes before this goes to the client.

A very nice job overall. The issues I see are with the likeness of the woman. The man and the overall pose looks terrific. (By the way, what's going on at the left in the background? I find it somewhat distracting since I don't know what it is.)

Here are a few things that should be changed:

Two things are making her eyes look a bit overly intense and somewhat crazy. Her irises are too light, maybe a bit cross-eyed, and the lower lids should be straighter (not dip down so much in the middle).

Her chin has been lost. See if you can redefine that and take care to make it long enough.

Her nose is just a bit too long in the center and the right nostril needs to be smaller/de-emphasized.

The mouth should be on an angle, much lower on the left than you've painted it. That will make the two nasal/labial folds look right.

De-emphasize the collarbone and dark triangle above it on the right.

That's about it. Check the painting and the photo in a mirror, or turn them both upside down and compare them. Or you can flip them left-to-right in Photoshop. You will see your work with new eyes and things you need to change will jump right out at you.

I always find it takes me about two weeks longer to finish a complex portrait than what I expect, as I near completion. When I think I'm done I check, repaint, recheck, repaint, check again and don't let any deadlines get in the way of making the painting as good as it should be. Don't let the clients rush you.

Can you post a closeup of the reference and the painting of her face?

Will Enns · 03-15-2003, 02:27 AM

Cynthia,

Thank you for noticing an improvement! Some people have no idea how hard we work to realize even a little progress. But it means even more coming from someone who works in the arts.

Michele,

This is what I was hoping for, and your time wasn't wasted.

The item on the left is part of a picture the clients own, which will be visible when looking at this painting where it will hang. I included it in the portrait to anchor the portrait to their home.

Here is a detail of the faces with the reference. This image is too big for the forum, but it should open in another window.

Your observations are right on. It amazes me you can see that much detail in that anorexic photo.

It is clear you noticed a few of the irregularities of this woman's face. In the reference, her smile is asymmetrical; I have other reference in which it is nearly symmetrical, and that is what I used to paint the smile.

Her eyes are somewhat irregular, but you are right - there are still problems. I think I may have made the irises a bit big which seems to aggravate everything.

As I look at this, more and more problems arise. I'm almost ashamed, but the cat's out of the bag now.

I will spend more time on this to resolve the issues you pointed out. When I am done, I declare its perfection will be such that it will hang unmolested in their home for at least a week, at which time I will peel it out of the frame to tweak it some more.

The amount of time this takes is why we get the big bucks, right?

Thank you,

Michele Rushworth · 03-15-2003, 11:54 AM

It's always very risky to combine parts of a face from one shot with parts from another. It can make it almost impossible to nail a likeness.

The shape and angle of her mouth is related to everything else on her face. The photo you posted as the main reference with the asymmetrical smile shows all her other features at a certain angle.

Changing her mouth affects the shape of her chin, nose, naso-labial folds, cheeks, eyes, everything. As Chuck pointed out, the reference of her face is slightly on an angle but you have painted her straight on.

You've made the job much tougher on yourself than it needs to be. In the next portrait you do you'll find it much easier to pick one photo to go with for the whole face.

This was done in watercolor, wasn't it? Amazing!