I'm Having a Breakdown - Sage, Advice Please

John Crowther · 03-07-2005, 05:13 PM

Good post, Kimber. It sounds to me like after you got through your "crisis" you worked it out for yourself very well. I hope I didn't come off like I was taking the teacher's side necessarily, but you evidently took what I was saying exactly the right way. Actually, you went me one better, and have found a way to balance dealing with the teacher and at the same time satisfying your own needs. Yes, the challenges we face never go away, the list just keeps getting longer. But by all means keep on painting!

John C.

Kimber Scott · 03-08-2005, 07:42 PM

Thanks, John. I turned the painting in today. We did a small critique. She made many helpful suggestions and I'm feeling much better about the painting and the "class," altogether. She addressed all of the issues I was worried about.

I'm glad this board was here for me. I tend to get a bit over-dramatic, but that's what's going on inside my head. Every painting problem becomes Titanic. Life is so perilous. The world will stop turning any moment if I can't paint this cheek, or that hand. And why can't I paint it? Then to add to the torture I begin looking at Bouguereau and wonder why I can't paint like that. It's got to be because nobody will teach me!

And, there it goes and here it is. The painting has been turned in, talked about and brought home and the world is still spinning. Of course, I will keep painting. I couldn't live without it!

Chris Saper · 03-08-2005, 09:25 PM

Dear Kimber,

You live so close, please come visit me ( 602-957-8107). I think you are at cross purposes. You need the grade to graduate and open up whatever options academically you might want to pursue.

Matriculation is something that I think is essential, and that is important. That being said your university (Where?) experience is independent from your art experience. First things first:

Graduate with honors. This is a degree, not a post graduate experience. Real portrait education will occur for you outside the university setting. Both, though, are important.

Quote:

She stresses quantity over quality. She says I can learn more in 100 paintings than I can in one.

Actually I agree here.

And only Bougeureau can paint like Bougeureau. You will paint like yourself.

John Crowther · 03-08-2005, 09:31 PM

Chris is so right, Kimber, you will learn more in 100 paintings. Remember, we get good at what we do. It's hard to see progress from one day to another, or one painting to another, and without the stimulation of progress it's easy to lose heart. But a year later, after 100 paintings, or whatever, you'll be astonished at how much you've grown without even realizing it, even when you don't have the benefit of a teacher.

John C.

Kimber Scott · 03-08-2005, 10:35 PM

Thanks, Chris. I do tend to get ahead of myself, don't I? I'd love to come visit with you. I'll call you soon.

I'm a student at ASU. I graduate next spring. Hopefully, I can keep my wits about me until then! There are some great teachers there and they treat me very well. They just don't know what I want to know, (if they do, they won't tell me), and it causes a bit of a disconnect at times. I get frustrated and decide I'm going to have to find the answers myself, but my time is taken up with their agenda! I have to remember, I am paying them for their agenda. That's what school is all about. (duh) I can either go along, or not. I've gone along so long now, as big an internal struggle as it's been, I might as well keep it up until the end. What's it going to hurt? I'll get a degree.

I know I must sound like a loonie tune. I get wound up pretty tight, sometimes. I'm like the girl who turns into a blueberry in "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory." I want everything, NOW! I'll get over it. Luckily, I haven't floated away... yet.

John, I like what you said, "We get good at what we do." Thanks!

Chris Saper · 03-10-2005, 08:30 PM

When will you complete your degree/

Tom Edgerton · 03-11-2005, 09:33 AM

Kimber--

What are your post-graduate goals? Do you need this degree to do what you want to do after school?

Kimber Scott · 03-11-2005, 11:25 AM

Chris - Thanks so much for talking with me last night. You are a kind soul.

Tom - My goal when I graduate is to paint. I had at one time entertained the thought of being a teacher, perhaps at the community college, or university level. I've put that on the back burner as it seems simply a diversion and I can't imagine the thought of grad school at this point! Teaching was not my goal when I signed up. I was hoping to learn to paint. Instead, I've been prodded into broadening my horizons. Good, if I were 18, didn't have four kids, two grandkids, strong political opinions, hadn't of spent nine years in the Army, worked in nursing homes and jails, thought a lot about life and death and actually lived through it, weighed religion or no, or if I cared to paint about world hunger and American's tendency to eat junk food. I really don't care. I care about light and color and composition and I want to know how to lay on paint in a way that stirs the soul, not simply shocks it. So, right now, I feel I'm locked in a rubber room. The answers to all my desires are just outside the door and the only importance the degree holds for me is the fact I've put a lot of work into getting it. I graduate next year.

I will say this, the torture ebbs and flows. I have met a lot of really nice people at school. I enjoy the studio time with my friends and the practice of drawing and painting is always a good thing. Like a teacher I had back in the community college (who actually taught me something) used to say, "You can always learn more, you can never learn less!" I really enjoy my art history and literature classes. I know I will not regret having done this. My frustration comes mainly from my own ineptitude. One day, I will know what I want to know and then... I will want to know more!