How do you cope with a bad painting day?
 

I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith - in myself, mostly. I've been working on a self-portrait, which was actually coming together quite nicely. I could have called it done. It wasn't nice enough, though. So, yesterday, I decided to work on it some more. I don't know what happened. I don't know if I left and went to another plane of existence, or had some kind of walking black-out, or what, but by the end of the day, the planes on the side of my head were fanned out like fish gills and I had this horrible grey reflected light coming off both sides of my face. All my edges were lost, my eyes didn't line up anymore, my lips turned this horrible hooker red and swelled up like I'd just had collagen injections. I wanted to cry. The more I tried to fix myself, the worse I got. Finally, I left my studio, came home exhausted and went to sleep.

I've had bad painting days before and many times after I've slept them off, I go back to the painting and it's not as bad as I thought it was in the first place. Not this time. I got to my studio this morning to find this hideous monster staring at me. I had to start over. It was such a mess. I began laying in the darks and by the time I had to leave for school I thought maybe I had rescued myself, but I'd lost my confidence. (Not that I have much in the first place, but what I had, I lost.) I talked a little about it with my professor and he said sometimes that happens to him. I'm sure he doesn't end up with fish-faced ,collagen-lipped portraits, he actually can paint, but he said he gets very frustrated sometimes.

After class I went back to my studio to check myself out and I'm still in need of a lot of work, but I've made definite strides towards being a real person - not some grey-gilled alien. I'm still very upset, though and I'm wondering - well, two things: First, is there some kind of compulsive illness that causes one to take a perfectly good painting and destroy it? And, second, what do I do about it? Well, ok, three things... Third, if you have a bad painting day, what do you do to make yourself feel better?

Kimber, the problem is probably just that it's a self-portrait. I've never painted one that didn't suck the oxygen out of the room for a while. Just lock it in a closet and start something else, you can always go back to it later.

Hang in there! ;)

I don't have any answers, but man, I know what you mean! There are times when I feel I know nothing about painting, or about art, or about much of anything for that matter. I get really upset, too and wonder if there is any point in picking up a brush again.

Then I am grumpy, and I can't even seem to enjoy a good meal. And my poor family that has to put up with me...

Now, I'd like to think that this is all part of the process of learning and growing. There were times when I struggled like this, and afterwards made great strides. But not always!

So, I would be glad to hear what others do to tame the madness! And maybe, at least, you will feel better that you are not the only one who ends up wrecking paintings again and again and gets no where and feels miserable? (Did you see my thread with the bridal portrait profile!?!)

OK, sorry, not my thread to rant. :(

Thanks, Linda. I'm sure that's what I NEED to do. Unfortunately, I'm supposed to turn this thing in for a grade. Oh, I hope the gods don't let me embarrass myself in public. I have until Monday...

Lacey, rant away. It does help me to know I'm not the only one. Last semester, I read Emile Zola's "The Masterpiece." I've talked about it here before. This book really sticks with me, though, because I feel I behave just as the main character, Claude, did in the book. He'd start a painting, it would take off really well, then he'd keep messing with it and messing with it until it turned into a mess. Unfortunately, things didn't turn out so well for him. Now, I'm not that bad, but I can really feel his pain!

I'm thinking hot chocolate might help...

99% of the time, if I am self-destructing at the easel, it's because I'm tired. So I do business maintenance, straighten up the studio, and go away. Flailing at the canvas when you're exhausted never amounts to anything but a waste of time.

Trust that what you've invested and learned in getting to your current level of proficiency won't go away because of one bad session.

Best--TE

Keep going
 

Hi Kimber,

I think you must have more confidence than you think because I didn't see any indication that you're thinking of giving up painting! It looks like from your post there is no question of you stopping painting. And, that's what I have done in the past, I've gotten so frustrated when I couldn't solve a problem (when I was trying glazing mostly) that I just stopped painting for months!

So, you're doing the right thing, you're keeping at it. That's all we can do. And try to remember that every painting and all the time spent in front of the easel is learning. I'm better about remembering that now, and even when a painting doesn't turn out, I try to remind myself that I'm learning all the time.

And chocolate does help! So does a day or two off.

Joan

Months without painting!?!

I think I am going to faint... :o

Yes, months!
 

Yes, months! My kids were younger, I took a night class (still life) one summer a few years ago, then I got interested in glazing portraits. I tried it at home but just couldn't get it. I got a lot of help from the forum but didn't have an instructor or anybody to help me out, or encourage me. Then the kids started school, things got busy, holidays came, we moved, a few more months went by. I was diong a lot of volunteering at my kids' school, had an antique shop for 6 months, I was certainly keeping busy, but not with painting.

I eventually signed up for a portrait class here in Houston, it wasn't very good at all, not much help from the teacher, lost steam and went on to something else. Then a year ago I found a great still life teacher and that got me painting every week! And through him I found a wonderful portrait instructor!!! I've been painting on and off like this for years, until now. Now I'm serious about it! ;)

This brings to mind something I read on the forum years ago. Somebody asked how does one find the time to paint every day? The answers were basically "I don't do anything else". I thought that sounded crazy, but now that I've committed to learning how to paint, I've found I've done the same thing. I only volunteer at my kids' school minimally. I don't do a lot with friends because that takes away from painting. I don't even like going to the grocery store because that takes time away from painting, though it has to be done. I can't remember the last time I was in any kind of department store. The only store ever go to is the ART store for things I need that day, the rest is ordered online. I do belong to a prayer group but that's only an hour each week. So, now I understand what people were talking about those years ago because I have the same attitude.

Sorry, got off track there.

Joan

Tom wrote: I find the same thing. If I paint when I'm tired there's a triple danger: I don't accomplish anything worthwhile, I have to repaint that section the next day anyway since it wasn't any good, and I get frustrated.

So, while I want to paint pretty much all the time, I know I can't physically or mentally do that. I need to go take care of other things or rest up for the next day so I that do have a good painting session. (I guess I know I'm addicted to painting when I start wishing there was some magic drink I could take that would give me all the energy I need and never have to stop, rest or sleep. And no, Starbucks hasn't yet invented the perfect concoction that quite does the trick!)

If I skipped painting when I was tired - I'd never paint at all. :o Some of my best work is done when my eyes are bloodshot, my hands shaking and the house falling down around me.

Ok. I admit, I shouldnt be giving advice and this way isnt for everyone. Maybe not anyone. :sunnysmil

Tom, you're right. I shouldn't paint when I'm tired. I KNOW that. I was just going to fix the line of the eye, you know? That was it, but something happened. I was possessed, I guess, and all hell broke loose! I will remember this, believe me.

Joan, I started painting when I was a kid. I got married at 16 and didn't paint another picture for 24 years! I've been painting steadily for the last five years and I'm not giving it up again. I'm having a very hard time in that I'm in a university art program and I was hoping they were going to teach me how to paint. Well, they don't do that. So, I'm struggling with every stroke. I graduate next spring, (if I weren't so close to the finish line, I'd quit), then I hope to have time to take some real painting classes. I've come to realize nobody is going to hand me anything, but it does seem it would be a little less torturous, if I had a little guidance. Thank God for this site. Anyway, I don't suspect I'll give up anytime soon. If it were easy, I'd have given it up a long time ago.

Michele, there are things to keep you awake, but I doubt they're legal, or that what you painted while under such influences would be much different than Mr. Freud's "Queen Elizabeth!"

Kim - there's something wrong with you, but it works, so keep on keeping on! ;)

Im pretty sure I have heard that before. Many times. :D

Kimber, I was on vacation when you started this thread, but I hope you were able to pull things back together in time for your class?

Some of my best and worst painting has been done in the middle of the night -- Can't trust my judgement after 2am... but sometimes things will click then. . . (I've been having to do a lot less re-work without so many all night painting jags! :bewildere) Having a good painting day or not, for me, seems to have a lot to do with mood and focus. Some days are 'on' and things just happen right. . . On those days I try to get as much painting in as possible on the more important areas of the painting. On days when things are just not clicking -- because of distractions or for whatever reason-- it might not be such a 'good' painting day... but working on less taxing areas (like background areas away from the focal point) or just walking away and taking care of laundry or non-painting errands, like ordering supplies, can help to keep it from becoming a bad painting day.

Sure. It's called hurrying to meet a deadline.

Slow down. Be deliberate with every stroke. Be sure to back up and check what you've done, and think about what you're going to do next.

Most likely, you stayed up close, and what you were doing looked great from a foot away. It wasn't until you stepped back and evaluated your progress as a whole that you noticed what you'd done. (As you can probably tell, I learned this the hard way. ;) )

If you haven't read it - get Alla Prima by Richard Schmid. He has some really terrific advice. One thing that might be relevant to you, given your monday deadline, is that it's better to have an unfinished painting in which the parts that are done are done correctly, than to have a finished painting with parts that are wrong.

Good luck!

(Any chance you'll show us the gill-faced painting? :oops: :o )

Kimber,


Ive learned that life is like the practice of Hatha yoga, ( a practice of holding poses which increase flexibility and limber your spine thereby giving you more energy). I can be sooo limber once day, then all of a sudden I hit some kind of wall, I wake up and find I cannot touch my toes anymore! In Hatha Yoga they encourage you to be patient, pull back a bit, but never stop the practive, and know that what is happening is a growth period which will allow your body more flexibility once you have moved through it.

I've learned that this applies to everything in my life! When I am experiencing what feels like a set-back, it is really a moving through the fog into the light of new knowlege and ability.

You have grown a great deal as an artist in the past couple years. It has been fun to witness here on the forum. Trust the process, do not succumb to fear, and you will be feeling brilliant again soon. I promise!!!

Interesting topic Kimber, and one most of us here can relate to. I am just thankful I don't have deadlines because I never know when I'm going to have those "moments of clarity" or how long they will last.
Sometimes, I can go into the studio and see exactly what needs to be done - and for 10 minutes I can sculpt perfectly, effortlessly, at lightning speed - such a wonderful feeling. Then of course, I get distracted, lose my focus and later try to force that clarity when it's "time" to sculpt. Never fails that I then spend the next 15 hours straight, methodically destroying my piece, causing myself a ton of rework until I'm so frustrated I can't even look at the piece and I leave the room in disgust. If I would only sculpt during those few moments of crystal clarity, I could get so much more done!

Deliberation... what a concept! You're right. I was hurrying and I wasn't thinking - at all. I was on auto-pilot. If I had been in a plane, they'd be picking my body parts up from around the Himalayas about now.

And, no, you can't see gill-face. She's gone. I spent 6 hours on her yesterday. She is still in rough shape, but she can't breathe under water anymore!

Patricia, Thanks for the advice. It makes a lot of sense.

Heidi, too bad we don't know when we're headed for disaster before we get there. If we did, we could call somebody to talk us down, or something - some kind of "Artists in Crisis" hotline. I can see it now, a man with a bullhorn yelling, "Put the brush down! Step away from the canvas! (Or, clay...) Everything's going to be alright." Instead it's like spontaneous human combustion, before we know what happened, our work is a pile of ashes and so are we. Oh well... working through the forensics seems to be the only way to try to avoid disaster in the future.

Yes, I also tend to be compulsive about painting, to the detriment of housework, grocery shopping, and being on time for other things.

About the self portrait--recently I've been painting several small ones just to paint from life, but then I attempted a larger one to enter in the PSA competition. I noticed that the pressure of the deadline tempted me to rush decisions. One day I narrowly avoided going too far with the light value. I had to make myself slow down and consider every stroke, every color, every move I made. I find when I give myself time to stare at the painting I'm working on and think carefully about where I want to go with certain things, or how the value relationships are working, or whether I really need to wipe out an area that I've been fussing with and start fresh, then I do a lot better.

There's something about painting yourself that can be nervewracking if you know other people are going to see it. If it's just for yourself, it's so much easier to not fuss over it.

Yuck, I've been there
 

Hi Kimber

Wow, do I know the feeling of watching a perfectly good painting desinagrate before your eyes. I have found this so frustrating in the past that I actually wrote down some steps that I can take that will help dig me out of the hole. I have posted these in a binder where I can look them up easily. I find that by writing it down I can refer back to a more logical self. Hope this helps!

Step 1. Take a digital photograph of the painting and put it on adobe photoshop then use abobe to paint on the image and make any changes you need. This way you are free to make all the radical corrections you like without doing harm to your canvas. Once you have the image corrected turn the easel to the monitor and make the adjustments.

Step 2. Walk away! Turn the painting to the wall and do not look at it for at least a week. Then you will have a fresh perspective.

Step 3 Get a critique from a trusted artist friend. Your good friends will give you an honest appraisel and suggestions to correct your errors. Sometimes its not as bad as you think. (Sometimes it is and needs to be trashed)

Step 4. Learn different ways to create a painting. If you start a painting one way and it is not working then approach it using a different technique. If you massed in the painting and its not working then wipe down and draw it in and block out the values. Perhaps defining the sharpest edge and working from that point outward. If you are painting alla prima then try working out the values then glazing. By using different methods of painting you can jog your brain to see correctly.

Step 5. Even the best artists make a lot of bad art. Give yourself permission to mess up. I am much kinder to my students than I am to myself in critque and think I would do better to treat myself as a student.

Step 6. If all else fails, It is the process not the product. Never be afraid to start over or wipe down.


Sorry to sound like a self-help guru but we are often too close to our own artwork and need to find a way to gain perspective.

Good luck, Vianna

Vianna, those are wonderful suggestions that will be helpful for us all when we have a bad painting day. Thanks so much for posting them.

Alex

Thank you, Vianna, I'm going to print your suggestions out. Next time I start to implode I'll be ready!