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Old 05-15-2005, 10:08 AM   #1
Carolyn Bannister Carolyn Bannister is offline
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Proud housewife




I'm calling this finished unless there are any glaring problems.

I would value your input now, it's been a good practice and I am really seriously pricing up a good set of pastels
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Last edited by Carolyn Bannister; 05-15-2005 at 10:30 AM.
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Old 05-15-2005, 11:02 AM   #2
Allan Rahbek Allan Rahbek is offline
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Carolyn,

One shot!

The paper surface at the left seem so isolated in the picture, you
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Old 05-15-2005, 11:27 AM   #3
Terri Ficenec Terri Ficenec is offline
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Hi Carolyn--

It's like that in your reference too... a lot of reflected light maybe... but something about those fingers folded back behind the hand under her chin reads flat with the palm of her hand rather than projecting back behind the palm?

I love how you've handled her face/expression, the wrinkles and age.
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Old 05-15-2005, 05:20 PM   #4
Lisa Ober Lisa Ober is offline
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Carolyn, I think you have a gorgeous portrait of a gorgeous woman here. What character in her face! What a gentle treatment you have done as well. It's lovely. I really like the way you often leave some unfinished parts where the ground is left untouched however, I find the trasition in this one a tiny bit harsh. I think because our eye is led from the subject to the little table there is an abrupt stop there. I agree, maybe some looser strokes could be added. Maybe a bit longer transition from the subject to the table. Truth is, I have no room to critique such a nice work and what I have said is only my opinon...except the part where I said it was gorgeous. That's a fact! You know, I even like the first picture you posted. Just the head and shoulders works for me too.
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Old 05-16-2005, 04:52 AM   #5
Carolyn Bannister Carolyn Bannister is offline
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Thanks everyone for the input, I actually agree with the points about the harsh transition but I went to such pains to keep the paper clean this time I wanted some input before I carried on.

I have made the adjustments to the background and the fingers but I won't bother posting them, I am definitely putting this one behind glass now.

It was a good practice of a more detailed look at a face and worth doing it for that.

Carolyn.

After reading Cindy's post in the oil critique section I decided to repost after taking onboard all valued input
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Last edited by Carolyn Bannister; 05-16-2005 at 08:27 AM.
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Old 05-23-2005, 04:03 PM   #6
Allan Rahbek Allan Rahbek is offline
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Now I am really nitpicking! These small frames don
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Old 05-23-2005, 05:08 PM   #7
Carolyn Bannister Carolyn Bannister is offline
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Allan,

I couldn't agree more

To me it looks childish and amateurish

I've actually put it away in and started on a new one but now you've got me thinking about it again.

I thought about cropping it and just keeping the head and shoulders but I should rise to the challenge and figure out a way to make it work, I really would like to keep the depth to the room.

How about a curtain from ceiling to floor and make the whole of the back of the room very dark?

Maybe that's what I liked about the ref in the first place.

Thanks for taking the time to critique, I really do value your input.

Last edited by Carolyn Bannister; 05-23-2005 at 05:09 PM.
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Old 05-23-2005, 07:58 PM   #8
Mike McCarty Mike McCarty is offline
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I think this composition would be best suited to a full completion of the background.

When I first saw your reference I thought that it was the vertical wall segments, with their variations in value, that connected the foreground to the background. I think you could have more success by re-visiting your reference and covering the entire paper.

This is worth taking further, I think.
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Old 05-25-2005, 05:13 AM   #9
Carolyn Bannister Carolyn Bannister is offline
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Not the best photo, it's blowing a gale outside, it was a struggle sticking it to the shutters (thats a professional photography term )

For some reason resizing it has made the table look a bit bent, but I think I've got away with it for real.

Is it a or a this time, if its a no I'm going to crop it

ps. Why do I feel just like I did in school when I always got ' could do better' on my reports.
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Last edited by Carolyn Bannister; 05-25-2005 at 05:51 AM.
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Old 05-25-2005, 06:06 AM   #10
Allan Rahbek Allan Rahbek is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carolyn Bannister
Is it a or a this time, if its a no I'm going to crop it
Please don
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