Betsy's Grandaughter

Julie Deane · 09-18-2007, 09:02 PM

A closeup. I hope it's not too dark or too light - my home monitor is losing its lighting power and I have to check my work on other monitors.

Alexandra Tyng · 09-20-2007, 11:08 AM

Julie,

I think the face is wonderful. I don't see any glaring modeling problems and her expresion is very appealing.

The only thing that bothers me is the lack of definition in her shirt (and therefore her upper body). Also, the canvas size seems a bit large for a portrait that focuses on the face. Essentally it is a head and shoulders portrait, but it is at least the size of a half-figure (head and hands). You could re-stretch it on smaller stretchers, or give her a defined torso and hands. There are two reasons why these considerations are important. First, the composition could use strengthening. Second, you have a price structure. You would not want potential clients thinking you fudged part of the portrait to get away with not doing the work while charging for a larger portrait. Of course I know you are not trying to do this, but you might give that impression to someone.

Julie Deane · 09-20-2007, 05:41 PM

I appreciate your reply, Alex. I get disappointed when I put up something for a critique and there is no response. I'm here to learn.

This was a poor first attempt at trying to do a vignette, and I can say now that as a vignette it does not seem to have succeeded. I tried to put an "S" shape in the background to give it some sort of structure, but did feel at a loss as to what I should do with the arms.

So - here is how it looks if I cut it down in size: one 16 x 20 and the other 14 x 18.

Alexandra Tyng · 09-20-2007, 05:54 PM

Julie,

I like the smallest one the best. It seems to make the most sense and feels right within the dimensions. This size is not unusual for a head and shoulders portrait.

However i would still do more to make the shirt read as three-dimensional with a definite shape, not a lot of detail, but some crisp edges in the lights, maybe at the neck, with a shadow behind on the skin where appropriate. The crispness can fade towrd the edges, but I believe it is important to show the form especially around the neck and shoulders, and indicate the shape of the arms and placement of the underarms.

Julie Deane · 09-20-2007, 06:13 PM

Yes, I see what you mean. I'll post again after I get a chance to do this.

Enzie Shahmiri · 10-08-2007, 02:11 PM

Julie, it is a nice friendly looking vignette and I think it should serve you well as a portfolio addition, especially after cropping it a bit as Alexandra suggested.

What I noticed is the shadow on the girl's right cheeck and neck. To make that area recede I would add a bit of grey and tone it down. I find it too chromatic the way I see it on my screen.