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Old 10-16-2005, 05:46 PM   #9
Steven Sweeney Steven Sweeney is offline
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Carolyn,

I realize you're well into this and the momentum may be such that you'd be reluctant to make some adjustments, but I want to mention a couple of things, if only for "next time."

No matter what amount of cropping from above or below, you still have a format divided into the left vertical 1/3, with nothing in it at all, and the right 2/3, with the rest. I'm a fan and practitioner of unorthodox composition, but this particular division seems out of balance to my eye. I'm tempted to make suggestions for something "in the background" in that left-side space -- an unusual clock, perhaps, or a wall-mounted artifact of his religious life, or maybe the diagonal perspective of a workbench, if as someone suggested, this is a portrayal of a hobbyist. I don't know what to suggest, really, because I can't tell what the subject's "story" is -- that is, I'm not sure why this minister is holding a toy train engine. But whatever the theme, it strikes me that it could be represented in some fashion, however subtlely, to fill that void.

Because the format is already tall and narrow, the second observation relates to something more difficult to adjust. All the focal interest lies in two areas, right now of roughly similar weight, the head and the train engine, both of which lie right in the middle of the format, one directly above the other on a vertical line. A more triangulated composition, with the center of focus not necessarily in the center of format, might have presented less second-guessing about cropping the image to move the subject around within the format.

Unless the train is to become the "story" here, you'll have to be careful that it is rendered in such a way (softening edges, perhaps, or reducing value range or color intensity) as to avoid stealing all the viewer's interest away from the subject's head, which is already somewhat "secondary" simply because we don't get to see his eyes.

Finally, make a strong commitment to the direction of the light source and the way the light flows over the form. Just to pick out one thing to look at here, the uniform width and value of that shadow running from the shoulder all the way down to the wrist threatens to make the arm appear to be "pinned on."

As I said, I realize you're well into this, but the Forum critiques are also useful for bringing some general focus to bear on matters that any member-artist can always be thinking about.
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