How does one grow thicker skin?

[Michele Rushworth]

You might want to post the specifics of your charity auction experience in the Business and Marketing section so you can get some feedback as to what you might do differently next time. My first charity auction was a complete bust and I realized it was the wrong type of auction to participate in. Other auctions have been very succesful for me since then.

[October Reader]

Thanks very much for all your input Terri, Julie, John and Michele. Hope I wasn't too much of a cry baby here. If it is any help for people that may be in my situation, one advice I found in print somewhere said something like this: don't get bogged down by setbacks because it is a waste of time. Try to be more creative on coming up with alternative solutions or accept the situation and move on to something else. Easier said than done but with practice it gets better.

For anyone interested, I will follow Michele's suggestion to post a topic regarding my initial approach to the Charity Donation that didn't go anywhere under "Business Side of Art" section of this forum. I'm looking forward to learning from your input and hope that someone else may avoid the mistakes that I may have made.

Just want to say that it is so cool to be able to look up member's bio now that I've gained permission to do so by joining the forum.

[Linda Brandon]

Hi October, welcome to the Forum! I really like your painting here.

The thick skin question is a good one. I think that commercial success comes to those who want it the most. Not necessarily to the most gifted, not to the most intelligent, not to the nicest, not to the most deserving. There are a lot of very good artists who never quite achieve liftoff. It's not all their fault - we live in a culture that provides heavy weather for portrait painters. Here's a quote from Julia Cameron:

"Center stage belongs to those who are willing to move there, some talented and some not.... We need to say our own names as artists. When we do, we feel self-respect."

Remember, too, that everything in life depends on how you choose your response to it. For example, I tell myself that rejection builds my character. This may or may not be true, but that's how I choose to respond to it. The worst thing that can happen is that somebody can make you stop painting, and you have to make a deal with yourself that you won't. If you don't stop painting, then you improve.

I hope I don't come off as pompous here. This is part of the pep talk that I give students when I teach. Gaining confidence is critical for an artist and I think one needs mental tools as well as technical skills to be a good painter.

[October Reader]

Wow Linda, your reflections on this topic are very much needed and appreciated. Realizing that I have a choice on how I CHOOSE to react hits the nail on the head.

It also prompted me to want to examine my motive and what I am willing to

[Leslie Ficcaglia]

Hi, October. I agree with the comments about the work you've posted; it's just lovely. It's hard to separate ego from business here since we're all so emotionally involved with what we create, but it's a necessary exercise. At least you're getting the sense from these responses that the failure of the charity auction to work out for you has nothing to do with your ability as a portrait artist! Personally I have never found charity auctions to be particularly helpful. The only commission I ever got via that format was one I was going to get anyway, but minus the percentage I'd promised to the charity. I was NOT happy!

Looking forward to seeing more of your work.

[October Reader]

Leslie, I appreciate your sentiment as I do with everyone's post here. Some comments are so poignant that I am going to review them often as guidance.

It's good to be aware. It probably is healthy not to pin one's hope entirely on a single venue. Though while making an attempt, I sense it's more beneficial to give a hearty try than otherwise.

[Elizabeth Schott]

October, first I love your painting! Don't get hung up on the auction thing, just remember your's might not have gone but the stool painted like a cow eating grass likely went for big bucks!

The getting over thin skin, well I might be wrong, but I don't think this is something you necessarily ever get over. I think it's a tool to keep yourself getting better; like the stage actress who gets nervous before every performance.

I really believe the old saying "the more I learn, the more I learn I do not know" really applies to this field of visual arts. The proof is hanging on the wall. I, to this day, feel a great sense of pride with every painting I finish - only to finish the next and wish I could go and get back the ones done before. I kick myself for even selling portraits "before my time"!

Taking workshops has helped me learn a lot of the elements of painting people, reading this forum keeps my enthusiasm up and actually picking up a brush affirms my love of painting.

I think your posted image is so refreshing and very different, I would keep hold of that and feel good about myself. It is a niche market and a very difficult one to crack. Read every bit of information Michelle R. posts about marketing through auctions, she is a wiz kid!

And... when you think you are bad, go to a smaller museum and look at some of the "lesser" works of well known artist. HA, then you'll smile!