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Hey Garth,
My leaning would be toward the first. I'm sure you could make a wonderful portrait out of either, and we are just knitting around the edges here, but since you ask ...
I think I like the first for the very reason that you don't. The more dimly lit, less literal background in the first seems to advance the subject a little more. Also, the subjects skin has a little more color. Not that that's a big deal, you will make whatever adjustments you need.
The lighting style is a little more complex than the usual side lit that we often see. Your "above" lighting has given an accentuation to the shadows on either side of the nose, and an almost equal distribution of light on either side of the face. I wonder if you tried setting your lights on only one side? Or, maybe diminishing the off side even more?
It's a great composition and you will make a great painting I'm sure.
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Mike McCarty
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