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Matthew, the thing that jumps out at me the most is the outlined look of the figure. Look for lost and found edges. I realize that can be pretty hard to do on a photo. That's where drawing from life comes in. And you say you don't have models to work from, well go check out your refrigerator or the produce section in your local grocery store. Set up some pears or something, light them from one direction and start drawing. Anything you learn working on a still life will also apply to a figure or portrait.
Study anatomy, look for evidence of bone and muscle in your subject and put them in your drawing.
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