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Tom,
I haven't read the book yet, thought I plan to, but everything you just described was carried out in this movie. There was a lot of "tension" between the two partricularly after he discovered her eye for art, which came quite natural to her seeing that her father was an artist also, but I don't recall there ever being any physical contact between the two, other than the scene where he pierces her ear.
I would recommend you seeing the movie Tom just for the visual aspect of the movie. His studio and the window in his studio, as we see in so many of Vermeer's paintings, seemed to be an exact replica. The costumes and lighting were simply breath-taking.
I also read that the paintings shown throughout the movie were actually reproductions with the exception of "the painting" which was shown at the end of the movie, this was the original.
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