Critique Please

[Yoshiharu Himata]

This is my recent painting. Does it progress as compared with my former work? Since I have not mastered a desirable technique, I have repeated the study of trial.
his picture is also uncompleted.

And I start to try next.

Yoshiharu

[Chris Saper]

Dear Yoshiharu,

I have watched your other posts and the comments that have been posted with interest. This painting is, in my view, completely successful. Not only have you incorporated many of the comments that were good, you have gone well beyond.

In this version, you have been able to engage me as a viewer with compelling body language, and a wonderful composition, whereas in prior postings, I had the sense that I was looking at a head study rather than a fully executed painting.

I think you have made excellent choices about your negative spaces and figure placement. The resulting value distribution is visually pleasing to me, as is the relatively unfinished shirt. Anchoring the shirt sleeve on the right is just exactly right, in my opinion.

If this were my painting, I would consider it finished, and not put a single additional stroke on it. Of course this comment reflects my personal taste, and may have nothing to do with where you see this piece going.

Because of its fresh feel, I do not think you need to do anything different with respect to the color harmony. If you feel that you wish to bring up the level of overall finish to that of the head, the only comment I might make is to incorporate some color temperature shifts in the face and shirt, in this case, perhaps in the light areas, if you intend to leave the shadows warm.

Very nicely done.

Chris

[David Dowbyhuz]

What Chris said!

Kudos, Yoshiharu!

[Yoshiharu Himata]

Chris,

Thank you very much for your very attractive comments.

I always notice after uploaded it, after having drawn it. About some weak points of it. And I draw it more, add touches.

Repeating such a thing, a shelf of my studio became a graveyard of my pictures. However, I think that I am not hopeless. It is my training period, for a while. Good time comes someday, I expect it.


David,
I always thank you for your replies!

Yoshiharu

Hi Yoshiharu,

If you say it was your training period, in what level you want to achieve? Your works have described your talent. You have mastered the technique guy. I can see an oriental atmosphere covers the traditional one.

If you don't mind, I want to ask your steps to do your work. This is a private request, because I love your technique.

I would be very appreciated if you could answer my request.

Abu Haidar

[Steven Sweeney]

Yoshiharu,

You have developed greater mastery than you give yourself credit for. Many artists with years more training and experience than you have, would take great professional pride and personal satisfaction in being able to produce as delicately beautiful a piece as this.

The drawing is, in a word, perfect. I see no line or shape that does not read as both accurate and graceful. It is not easy to capture both qualities. The simplicity of the drawing itself is the source of its eloquence.

Given the monochromatic coloring thus far, perhaps you intended the piece at this stage to be an underpainting for a more developed work. As I try to visualize how that may progress, it seems to me that to proceed even a little further will require a substantial commitment to a lot more work. For example, though I think it would be interesting to see the effect of some color in the background, I realize that that would disrupt the very sensitive balance that now exists between the background and the lights in the figure and clothing. As soon as you move one part ahead, the entire piece will have to "move with it".

You will paint hundreds of pictures to perhaps a more advanced state of "finish" but that does not make this one "incomplete" in any way, and right now in this piece you have an extraordinary record of a moment not only in your daughter's life but in your artistic development. I think you should present it in its present form to yourself, as a gift, and preserve it so that your daughter will have it some day.

Best wishes,
Steven