The Feather

[Alan Melson]

Oil 30X36. Thanks for your advice and critique.

[Dianne Gardner]

I'm bumping this one to the top. I know how it feels to post for critique and no one says anything! I am not an expert but I'll give you my thoughts and hopefully someone else will add to them.

I find this painting has charm. You have painted a story here and its lovely. My only critique is that there is way too much chroma and edges in the foilege. If you softened and muted those, the little girl would pop out and become your focal point.

I love the sunlight you have captured and I like the painting.


Best regards

Dianne

[Chris Saper]

Diane, thanks for bumping Alan's painting up to the top!

I like a great deal about your painting, Alan. I think that you have used a very lively exciting overall pattern throughout the piece, which lends energy and movement to the painting.

The foliage that immediately surrounds your subject creates some distractions, due to the edges, values and placement of several of the elements. For example, the branch that cuts across the sleeve from our right, and touches the jaw, creates tangents both at the jaw and at the the edge of the sleeve. I don't think it needs to be there at all. The leaves on the large central flower are also tangents to her hair so that they become accidental focal points, and it is difficult to tell whether they are in front of the subject or behind. The leaves that cradle her face on our left, I think, also create a visual distraction. My brain tells me that they must be considerably in front of the subject but my eye tells me they must be touching the face. Likewise, I think that your composition would benefit by removing the leaves altogether. Then you would be able to explain the shape of the head from 7:00-12:00 .

The only other observation I would offer is that the blues and violets in the shadows look too extreme in their temperatures.The sunlight on the edge of the face would naturally be very warm, leaving the skin tones in shadow slightly less so - but with the extreme light and value contrast, I think, gives you a great deal of leeway in the color temperatures in the face. Regardless, those deep shadows along the neckline of the dress, the throat and the barrel of the mouth are asking for warmth.I can't see the nostrils, but they need to be deep dark warm color. Once you make those adjustemtns (if you decide to ) I think you will have a better context in which to evaluate the values of the face to strengthen your focal point,as Diane has mentioned.

Good luck!

I love the way you have handled the flowers, leaves and ground in the lower part of the painting

[Thomasin Dewhurst]

Dear Alan

I also apologise for being so remiss at finding this post. Your painting is lovely! You handle paint so well and your colour is so clear and unmuddy. And you draw so well - the hands are very good indeed! I am not going to add to the critique here because I am sure you must have worked on it since, so what I would say (which would not be much at all) would be a bit irrelevant. Perhaps you could post an update, or even post the finished piece in the unveilings section so we could all have a new look at it.

Best wishes,