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Old 03-02-2003, 06:50 AM   #1
Chuck Yokota Chuck Yokota is offline
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Anjelique




I am posting my first painting for critique.

Size: 24 x 18 inches.

Medium/ground: oil on canvas.

Digital demonstration OK.
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Old 03-02-2003, 06:53 AM   #2
Chuck Yokota Chuck Yokota is offline
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Closeup

Here is a closeup of the features.
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Old 03-02-2003, 06:56 AM   #3
Chuck Yokota Chuck Yokota is offline
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Source

Here is the source photo. Sorry for the quality; it is about three generations removed from the original photo, which I don't have now. Yes, it was black-and-white. I took the colors from observation of the subject.
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Old 03-02-2003, 07:23 AM   #4
Chuck Yokota Chuck Yokota is offline
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Self critique

Looking at the painting now, I can see problems with the outline of the face. I was confused by the dark shadow cast on the edge of her cheek, and pushed that edge off her face, giving her a slightly sunken-cheeked appearance. I also made the bottom of her chin horizontal, rather than following the tilt of her head.

I wasn't happy with the hair: too red and not dark enough in the back, and too solid-looking, so instead of looking piled-up, it makes the upper part of her head look too big. At least for me, doing hair was the biggest change in going from drawing to painting.

I don't remember at this point why I made the background on the right side less dark. Maybe I was hurrying to get done, and didn't check the tone value.

I had the vague idea that the black masses of her dress would be big arrowheads pointing back at her face; I don't know if that succeeded.

On the other hand, I am pretty happy with the features and expression. I got pretty much what I was aiming for.
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Old 03-02-2003, 08:44 AM   #5
Steven Sweeney Steven Sweeney is offline
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Hi, Chuck,

[While I was tapping this out, you were posting your self-critique and you've in fact caught a few things I have mentioned below. It's late here, so I'll just post this as is instead of editing out the redundancies.]

You
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Old 03-02-2003, 12:38 PM   #6
Michele Rushworth Michele Rushworth is offline
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Chuck, for your next portrait, do try to take your own photos, of a person lit by a single source of light (next to a window, for example, with no other light, and no flash).

I know you will find working from good reference photos makes a world of difference in your work.
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Old 03-02-2003, 12:56 PM   #7
Chuck Yokota Chuck Yokota is offline
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Steven,

Thank you for posting your helpful critique, and for doing it so quickly.

I had not previously been aware of how difficult photographic lighting would be to render in a painting. In trying to show the three-dimensional shapes, sometimes I went too far, as in the collarbones, and other times not far enough, as in the forehead and hair. I will certainly keep this in mind in the future when I take and select reference photos.

The lesson I learned concerning the face outline is that if I sense a problem, I need to stop and really look and think things through. At the time, I felt there was "something" wrong in that area, but because I had not found the real problem, I messed around and made things worse in adjacent areas.
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Old 03-02-2003, 01:02 PM   #8
Chuck Yokota Chuck Yokota is offline
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Michele,

Thank you, I will certainly do as you suggest.
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Old 03-02-2003, 06:38 PM   #9
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Hi again, Chuck,

By morning's light I see that there was one more feature I wanted to mention -- the nose. The "problems" are the same as already discussed, namely, the strong, straight-on lighting and the sharp transitions between value shapes. The combined effect on the nose overall is to make it "plateau", appearing to have a very wide bridge and very steep sides.

Significantly, too, the treatment of the "bulb" of the nose is greatly affecting likeness. That area in the photo shows a very distinctive, almost pronounced roundness. In the painting, the kind of heart-shaped light on the tip of the nose is too large and comes down so far as to instead flatten and broaden the tip of the nose, and lengthen the nose overall. (I see this only in the painting, not in the photo.) You will see also in the photo that there's a little shadow across the top of that "bulb", subtle but nonetheless enough to indicate that the form plane is ever so slightly turning away from the light (that is, to indicate "roundness".)

Again, we're talking about the way form can be described by value. (It can be described by color temperature as well, but we're not ready to go there. Mastering a grayscale of values will serve you best right now.)
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Old 03-02-2003, 08:02 PM   #10
Chuck Yokota Chuck Yokota is offline
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Tone values

Steven,

Thank you, I can see what you mean, now that you have pointed it out to me. I will need to work on recognizing and reproducing these subtle tone changes.

I am starting on the nine-value tone exercise I read about in another section of this forum. I will be doing the black-and-white studies you recommended to me in your first posting here. What should I do with them as I complete them? One other question; should I use the black paint from the tube (Lamp Black) or a mixed black? (I used a mixture of Burnt Sienna and French Ultramarine in the painting.)

Thanks again for your critique and advice, and for your patience with my no-doubt naive questions.
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