Commission for a grandson

Julie Deane · 04-18-2005, 06:38 PM

Hi -

This is a commissioned piece of a man aged 95. His grandson commissioned it. I did not get to take the original photo, as the gentleman lives many states away.

I've taken the drawing as far as I can at this point, and would welcome critique.

The reason the piece has a black background is that the client saw my drawing of "Bertie in Black and White" (renamed "Bea" on the PSA website) and said he wanted it drawn and framed "just like that". I'm softening up the framing a bit, but didn't think I could get away with a lighter background.

Julie Deane · 04-18-2005, 10:55 PM

Aw, come on guys, help me out. Tell me what you see that's off. I know there are lots of places that don't look quite right and really would like feedback.

Please be aware that this is not the greatest photo of the art. The value differences are greater than this, but when I try to darken it in Photoshop, it seems to emphasize the grain of the paper, and it looks bad, so I didn't share the slightly darkened version. Not sure what I can fix here, but I would still like suggestions.....I didn't like having such a light color shirt, so tried to tone it down. Should I make it even darker?

Jimmie Arroyo · 04-18-2005, 11:07 PM

Hey Julie,

Although I like the drawing, there are things that bother me that were more noticeable when comparing to the reference. The values and contrast seem off, not everywhere, just here and there.

When changing it to a very dark background, maybe some of the darks should have been made darker, along with the mids and some of the lights. You've adjusted the shirt, making it a mid instead of light, but the hair, I feel, is much too light. Above his ear is even lighter than the reference giving the hair a flatter appearance. The shadow in the cheek areas, with a little reworking should go back in space properly.

I would take it slow, gently working up the darks and mids until it fits better with such a dark background, just don't go overboard!

ps. wait until you get another opinion before going ahead with mine.

Jimmie Arroyo · 04-18-2005, 11:09 PM

Sorry I took so long typing, I started typing before you started asking for more help, and my reply came after you.

Chris Saper · 04-18-2005, 11:26 PM

Julie,

It's beautiful and it's done.

It's more than the photo ever was, what a lovely job.

Julie Deane · 04-19-2005, 06:26 AM

Thank you, Jimmie and Chris. But, gosh, now what do I do? Such a difference of opinion!

I agree with Jimmy that the hair is much too light, mainly on (our) left side, where it should be darker against the background. And I do feel there are value issues, or wouldn't have pressed for feedback.

I'm toying with the idea of lightening up the background a tad just to avoid what to me feels like a "cut out" appearance. I would have to use pastel to do it, though, since it is really ground in there - pastel/pencil mix.

Carolyn Bannister · 04-19-2005, 07:06 AM

Hi Julie,

I have to say I really like it, I think you have captured the texture of his skin wonderfully, it looks really soft, just how older skin is.

The only thing that I noticed, and take this with pinch of salt because I'm not really qualified to critique, is that his shoulders seem a little low, or is it his collar where it meets the face? To me it gives the impression that he is a slimmer man with a longer neck.

Carolyn (Bannister)

Michele Rushworth · 04-19-2005, 09:59 AM

He'll love it. I think it's fine as it is, personally.

Patricia Joyce · 04-19-2005, 10:15 AM

This is a lovely drawing. Older people make great portraits in my opinion because there is so much to render. What I would do, following Jimmie's advice, is to really, really squint down and see the shapes of the values. I think if you brought up the lightest sides of the whole form, forehead, nose, cheek, neck and shirt you will like the dark background better. And I would darken the ear which is in shadow.

It is a beautiful drawing. You have really captured this gentleman and he will love it even if you don't change it from it's current state.

Cindy Procious · 04-19-2005, 10:55 AM

This is a beautiful drawing. But, I agree with Jimmie - since you darkened the background, there are many elements that would dissapear into the background - take nibbles out of his hairline in the shadow side, darken down the shirt at the shoulder.

I've adjusted the levels on your reference just to show you what I mean - hope you don't mind.