How does one grow thicker skin?

October Reader · 01-08-2005, 04:34 PM

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and are all well poised for making the most out of 2005. Speaking of facing new challenges, I do shamelessly admit that l have been leaning heavily on this forum for support in starting my new career in art. This forum has provided me great learning tools and resources that even $ can't buy!

As I followed the brave examples of people here on the forum, and stumble, as one invariably does when embarking on something new, my admiration for those of you that just kept at it grew. How do you handle setbacks? When my first attempt at arranging a charity donation failed (can't even give it away?), I took a hard look at myself and wondered . Many may say that was nothing, just keep doing it. The truth is it does dampen my spirit. So I realized that it is a mental game just as much as it is a business and artistic challenge.

While hoping to recognize the RIGHT TIME and the RIGHT PLACE as well as honing better skill sets, I would truly appreciate any candid wisdom you may impart.

Nice to meet you all and happy painting/drawing!!

Terri Ficenec · 01-08-2005, 04:43 PM

Hi October - and welcome!

The work you've attached in your introduction is lovely and unique. Can't imagine a charity turning you away. Looking forward to seeing more of your work posted!

Julie Deane · 01-08-2005, 09:14 PM

Hi -

Your work is beautiful, thoughtful, wonderful color and evocative of many subtle emotions. You have a clientele - you just haven't met them yet.
Don't let one bad experience get you down!

John Reidy · 01-09-2005, 09:31 AM

Hello, October

I know what you mean about your questioning yourself. You are in a particularly hard time - you've committed yourself to this course and now wondering if you have made the right choice. This is the midnight hour. The questions keep coming like the drip of a leaky faucet, nagging at you.

Have faith. The faith that brought you to make this decision. And keep working. And never give up. Those who quit, lose. Success belongs to the strugglers.

I've only been a member of SOG a short while but like you I have been viewing it for a long time and fortunate for me I got to meet and know 3 or 4 members and their personal sharing along with the website has benefited me largely.

So hang in there, keep working and good luck.

John R.

Michele Rushworth · 01-09-2005, 11:56 AM

You might want to post the specifics of your charity auction experience in the Business and Marketing section so you can get some feedback as to what you might do differently next time. My first charity auction was a complete bust and I realized it was the wrong type of auction to participate in. Other auctions have been very succesful for me since then.

October Reader · 01-09-2005, 11:42 PM

Thanks very much for all your input Terri, Julie, John and Michele. Hope I wasn't too much of a cry baby here. If it is any help for people that may be in my situation, one advice I found in print somewhere said something like this: don't get bogged down by setbacks because it is a waste of time. Try to be more creative on coming up with alternative solutions or accept the situation and move on to something else. Easier said than done but with practice it gets better.

For anyone interested, I will follow Michele's suggestion to post a topic regarding my initial approach to the Charity Donation that didn't go anywhere under "Business Side of Art" section of this forum. I'm looking forward to learning from your input and hope that someone else may avoid the mistakes that I may have made.

Just want to say that it is so cool to be able to look up member's bio now that I've gained permission to do so by joining the forum.

Linda Brandon · 01-10-2005, 10:40 AM

Hi October, welcome to the Forum! I really like your painting here.

The thick skin question is a good one. I think that commercial success comes to those who want it the most. Not necessarily to the most gifted, not to the most intelligent, not to the nicest, not to the most deserving. There are a lot of very good artists who never quite achieve liftoff. It's not all their fault - we live in a culture that provides heavy weather for portrait painters. Here's a quote from Julia Cameron:

"Center stage belongs to those who are willing to move there, some talented and some not.... We need to say our own names as artists. When we do, we feel self-respect."

Remember, too, that everything in life depends on how you choose your response to it. For example, I tell myself that rejection builds my character. This may or may not be true, but that's how I choose to respond to it. The worst thing that can happen is that somebody can make you stop painting, and you have to make a deal with yourself that you won't. If you don't stop painting, then you improve.

I hope I don't come off as pompous here. This is part of the pep talk that I give students when I teach. Gaining confidence is critical for an artist and I think one needs mental tools as well as technical skills to be a good painter.

October Reader · 01-10-2005, 12:59 PM

Wow Linda, your reflections on this topic are very much needed and appreciated. Realizing that I have a choice on how I CHOOSE to react hits the nail on the head.

It also prompted me to want to examine my motive and what I am willing to

Leslie Ficcaglia · 01-11-2005, 10:47 AM

Hi, October. I agree with the comments about the work you've posted; it's just lovely. It's hard to separate ego from business here since we're all so emotionally involved with what we create, but it's a necessary exercise. At least you're getting the sense from these responses that the failure of the charity auction to work out for you has nothing to do with your ability as a portrait artist! Personally I have never found charity auctions to be particularly helpful. The only commission I ever got via that format was one I was going to get anyway, but minus the percentage I'd promised to the charity. I was NOT happy!

Looking forward to seeing more of your work.

October Reader · 01-11-2005, 12:51 PM

Leslie, I appreciate your sentiment as I do with everyone's post here. Some comments are so poignant that I am going to review them often as guidance.

It's good to be aware. It probably is healthy not to pin one's hope entirely on a single venue. Though while making an attempt, I sense it's more beneficial to give a hearty try than otherwise.