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Pong, your drawing, although carefully and meticulously drawn, lacks good proportioning in the features, both individually and collectively. The eyes particularly need to be drawn with more attention to the axis (the imaginary line around the head running through the eyes at the tear duct.) It appears to me the the eyes are too small, and not aligned on the axis. Since the eyes are the first place in a portrait that one looks, they need to be more precicely drawn. It would help you to spend some time copying drawings and diagrams of eyes, eyelids, both individually and as a pair, with careful study of how they balance each other.
Perhaps your "creative" definition of your portrait is intended to allow for your departure from good drawing protocol. In any case, it does depart from good drawing protocol.
On another note, the composition of this portrait is a bit troubling. Were the breasts drawn as an afterthought, since they are so close to the bottom of the page? I think it would have been better to turn the subject slightly, and leave more of a margin at the bottom of the page.
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