Laiken

Mary Sparrow · 09-14-2003, 09:52 PM

9x12 Art Spectrum paper.

Anything that jumps out at you? I have stared at her so much she is jumbling together.

Chris Saper · 09-15-2003, 12:07 AM

Mary,

This is the strongest work of yours I have seen! I have only a few observations that you might want to consider. Your light source is sort of diffused, but I think cemented by the position in which you place the catch light in the eyes, about 11:00. To really add to the luminescence of the eyes, you would wnat to have the darkest part of the iris underneath the catchlight, and the lightest part opposite, at 5:00.

The away shoulder, on our left, is an unexplained shape, and I think you should eliminate it altogether. I think that this will strengthen the painting overall. Lastly, you might want to check the color inside the nostril, and other areas where skin touches skin (the hands against the face, the fingers against each other) and be sure that these darks are warm, rather than cool.

Regards,

Kimberly Dow · 09-15-2003, 12:20 AM

Mary,

Wow, beautiful! I love the cropping, the eyes, it is my favorite of yours.

I agree about the shoulder/arm on our left - kind of just there.

Mary Sparrow · 09-15-2003, 07:21 AM

Thanks for the help, here is the resource photo, I realized that arm was a problem AFTER I drew her and put her on the computer, so I added a little bit of her sleeve to see if it might help..now, the question is pastel artists, HOW would you remove something like that? the background is the paper itself without destroying the paper? Or would you leave it and maybe pull the sleeve down?

Chris, thank you for the observation that this is my strongest one, I really appreciate that coming from you...you would laugh to see me learning my way through these pastels with your book glued to my side. I know I still have plenty to learn, but I feel like my medium has finally found me I can't figure out why it took me 36 years to even pick up a pastel stick.

Jeff Fuchs · 09-15-2003, 08:21 AM

Very nice work, Mary. If I can nit pick just a little, I think the shadow side of the face is too dark. You matched the values on the photo. In Chris's book, she mentions value clumping. Read her chapter on breaking free of the photo.

Also, I think you over-renderd the fingernails (nit-picky enough?). Maybe not over-render, maybe just too much contrast.

Non-artists reading this forum must think we're monsters -- finding fault in such a nice portrait. But that's what a critique is. It really is a lovely piece.

How can a 25 year old have taken 36 years to pick up pastels?

Michele Rushworth · 09-15-2003, 10:08 AM

Mary, if you draw the far arm exactly the shape it is in the photo you should be fine. The vague shape that it is now, with the made-up sleeve edge, is what causes the problem. The shape in the photo is very clearly defined, with differentiation between the bicep and the remainder of the arm. If you put it in exactly as shown in the photo I think you'll be alright and won't have to add background color.

The deep purples in the shadow areas are bothering me somewhat. The purples are there but I don't think they should be as strong. Lightening them and blending them so thoroughly that they don't jump out so much might be better.

Otherwise a very well done portrait!

Mary Sparrow · 09-15-2003, 12:36 PM

eyes, nostril and other comments except for this arm business.(And the mother is extremely pleased with the eyes now)

I erased it..it looked really weird without it, like it still needed

Then I put it back in with a touch more sleeve, still not working.

Michelle, the original draft had the arm as is, The first thing the mother said to me was "that arm looks out of place" that is what started the whole thing with the made up peice of shirt.

Hmmmm..Not sure what to do, b/c for some reason, Im just not making it work.

As for the dark purples, I really think that is the camera making things look darker and blotchy, it doesn't bother me in person. Im scared to touch that part.

Rendi Ames · 09-15-2003, 03:07 PM

Hi Mary,
This piece is simply beautiful.... I love the detail in her hair. You have captured her beauty.

Rendi Ames

Mike McCarty · 09-15-2003, 03:37 PM

Mary, see what you think of this...

Mary Sparrow · 09-15-2003, 04:52 PM

Ok Mike..that might just work, let me try. Thanks.