"First difficult choice", painting in progress

[Oana Lauric]

[Will Enns]

Oana,

I always glance at the image before reading the text. My first response upon seeing the closeup was, 'nicely done!' Then I saw the whole picture and it piqued my curiosity. It would keep me looking longer than an image where the message belted me between the eyes like a sledge hammer. Realistically, can you expect more than this?

I find the message subtle, but not too subtle. But some people will not, cannot ever recieve such a message, because they are tuned to a different station. But someone who is in tune with you will look for, and find a message. How that message is interpreted will be influenced by the experiences the viewer brings with him.

Your choice of title, and whether it's displayed with the image, will also have an impact on how often your message gets through.

I think it would be a mistake to add complexity to the background.

I find the painting very successful, but what do I know? Only that I like it, and that's all I need to know. I say, put your doubts away.

[Chris Saper]

Oana,

What an intriguing post, and nicely done piece!

A couple of marketing notions come to mind: If you are doing personalized commissions, this is a great portfolio piece, but only when you have the chance to explain it.

Don't assume that your viewers will know or understand the childhood allegories that are involved. In my opinion, the portrait you present as a portfolio piece should be as universal as you can make it. In this case, if it were my piece, I'd probably crop it and present it is a detail in my portfolio, as in your intial post, and if the opportunity presents itself, explain the whole thing, then offering the entire piece.

p.s. Soften the edges on the arm on our left, to try to minimize the distraction.

[Oana Lauric]

Thank you, Chris and Will, for your comments.

Impressed with Will's fast perception, but then you are an artist and also trained in illustration/advertising so used to read between the lines, right? I guess I'll have to live with the idea that some will get the message and some, most, won't.

Still, I will take it as a challenge for my next paintings. Because I like the idea of adding yet another layer of "meaning", a story, to a perfect likeness and overall well executed portrait - which I consider mandatory, anyway.

On the other hand, I appreciate Chris' sharp marketing tip: once finished, I'll crop indeed the image for a "detail" portfolio presentation - less mind stretching for the viewer, so he/she can easily identify. So true! As for the arm on our left - why didn't I see that before??? This is what makes this Forum so precious, thank you for your very professional advice and trained eye!

Oana

[Mari DeRuntz]

Oana,

Very accomplished and striking portrait. I agree with Chris's suggestions.

For me, the cropped (first) image is more powerful; I think the allegorical message in the full image is too much, too direct, not subtle enough for it to be meaningful. In essence, you are telling the viewer what to feel. We

[Josef Sy]

Oana,

Very poetic and nicely executed piece. I like works that have meaning, but not too forward as to overpower the work itself. I think you successfully have done this.

I have a suggestion. I never have tried this myself but it would be cool to see a kind of depth of field between the child and the rose. Blurring or blending the child comes to mind but I guess not too much. Or blurring a part of the rose closer to the child? Just a thought.

[Oana Lauric]

Thank you Mari and thank you Josef, for the in-depth critique and appreciation of this piece. While I still feel strongly about maintaining this additional level that we're basically debating here, I certainly will consider all the opinions received so far.

As I see it, in my portraits I raise questions, I do not give answers.

Also, I often have more than one main character. In this case, I have three. If I have to paint, say, a mother, a father and a son, should I choose to only show one of them, with a loving expression,and assume the viewer understands the family ties in detail? Here are three entities, the sum of which is more than each one separately... but then what do I really know?

I understand Mari's desire for a more subdued message, though - take a look at the winner of the latest Portrait Society of Atlanta competition, http://www.portraitsocietyofatlanta....al_jessica.jpg
there you have a whole story that is only suggested; or Vermeer... ok, I'll think about all this.

As for the technical solutions, thank you both! I guess the mouth area can benefit from some additional color saturation indeed, and Josef's suggestion about the depth of field and the blur - fabulous! I'll jump back to my easel and will soon let you know where all this led me.

Until then, thought you might find interest in another painting of mine ("Soleils") that clearly follows the same steps debated above. Now that I opened Pandora's box!... The quality of photo is poor, but you get the idea.

Thank you again for your comments, this is anew experience for me and I enjoy every bit of it!

Oana
http://www.artoujours.com/soleil-det1.jpg
http://www.artoujours.com/soleil-det2.jpg

[Sharon Knettell]

Oana,

I feel like a grinch, commenting on what is meant to be a very poetic painting.

You color combination is exquisite, that lucious salmon with the subdued green of the background. Your brushwork is lovely.

I am having a problem with the composition, drawing and the form.

The cut off arm, for me, is really distracting. It would have strengthened the grasping theme more strongly if the baby had a flower in his other hand and had the dilemma of where to put the next flower. This would have increased the flow of the composition. I also do not care for truncated limbs.

Perhaps this is personal, for some reason I do not find diapers appealing, I always associate them with their end use. A naked putti would have been much more appealing and allegorical.

The nose on the baby's face seems a tad long. The highlights, scattered across the form seem to be the same value wherever they are placed. Also I detect a lack of a picture plane which serves to unite disparate elements in relative space.

Sincerely,

[Oana Lauric]

Sharon, thank you for taking the time to critique my piece. I greately admire your work and read with joy not only the compliments regarding my colors and brushwork but also and maybe even more, the issues raised and the suggested solutions.

Everybody seems to agree on the infortunate cut arm, but your idea about yet another flower in the other hand is a... tempting novelty. Why not?

I think I'll change that cropped arm's position from lateral to back, reducing its length in raccourci and so allowing the hand to fully show up, slightly blurred and somewhat smaller due to depth of field (Josef's hint), together with the third flower. This will also explain better the size of the front rose, larger than expected and, as you say, will increase the flow of the composition. Nice!

As for the diapers, I have no particular problem with them myself, my intention was actually to suggest some informal "cover" (the "baby" is three years old, by the way - out of diapers long ago!) but the putti suggestion really "caught" me, I might try that.

I don't agree about the nose. This is my model's nose, it gives him personality and I'll probably keep it as-is. But the un-differentiated highlights, that's a problem and I thank you for bringing it to my attention.

I don't think I can do much about the picture plane, but got big hopes that the new composition will also serve to unify the disparate objects in a not-anymore-so-relative space.

Time for me now to put the mouse down and grab the brushes - thank you all again for these priceless critiques! I'll stay in touch.

Oana