Ralph in Progress

[Jeanine Jackson]

Here is phase 1 of the 40" x 34" commission which was designed by myself and the client, based on a professional photo.

The object of the game here is to set him against the hustle-bustle of the polo members' tent without diminishing his importance as the subject.

I have attempted to lay out the plan of action in an underpainting using cool color over a gesso-primed linen, toned with a touch of raw umber.

Your time to comment is very much appreciated.

[Timothy C. Tyler]

I'd take great care with placement and overlaps of figures, etc. Bouguereau would have made a separate drawing of each (as did N. Rockwell) and move the cartoons until the intersections work. I don't understand where the guy in the background's legs are, for example.

[Steven Sweeney]

For those who may have arrived since we had a look at the reference photo and early drawings, they can be seen at http://forum.portraitartist.com/show...highlight=polo

[Mari DeRuntz]

Bouguereau would have made a separate drawing of each (as did N. Rockwell) and move the cartoons until the intersections work.

This is an excellent point, Tim. It sounds like how Peggy Baumgaertner worked out the composition for "Lyn".

It seems to be the only way to really see what's happening, and how the eye will travel through the painting, although there are artists who can work out these issues in preliminary thumbnails.

[Jeanine Jackson]

Thank you all for comments and the referral back to the photo and sketch.

There I had been warned about the placement of the figure in the back. I actually tried him in a number of positions and eliminated him in one version. The decision to keep him where he is has to do with the "L" of light (standing figure to sitter's leg) as a basic pattern which I think works quite nicely.

This does not negate the need for care. I shall review the matter in the morning with a fresh eye.

[Karin Wells]

I just tuned in and am sorry that I didn't see this at the photo stage.

Right now, the feet look strange...I know that they are meant to be lost in the grass, but you'll have to be very careful to make them look real...or you could crop them for an easy solution. This is not a desirable pose to make into a good painting.

Frankly, I don't think that the figure in the foreground comes across as large enough or important enough (partially because of his "defeated looking" posture). He looks small and unimportant and unfortunately my eye is drawn immediately to the standing figure (as his proportions seem wrong there too, i.e., legs and feet). I think that you need to tweak the proportions of your subject to make him look more heroic (nearly always a good idea with males). This will distort the "reality" of his anatomy a little, but the only thing that people will notice is that he "looks better."

I just found Sharon Knettell's post called "Polo Picture" in your photo critique thread and agree with all she has to say. I suggest that you review it as she is, I think, exactly on target. http://forum.portraitartist.com/show...0&pagenumber=2

I would suggest that you emphasize the subject in the foreground by making him larger, cropping, and really make something of design interest out of the hat and whatever else is on the bench beside him.

I would also suggest that you radically simplify the background (eliminate the figure with his back to us) and think in terms of value massing and design in order to enhance the subject. Indicating the tent and the activity therein can be done in a more abstract way and will serve to shift the focus back onto your subject.

Chris Saper said, "Good paintings go fast; bad paintings take forever."

However, despite the struggle ahead, I think that you have the talent to eventually pull this off whether you listen to my advice or not. Good luck.

[Karin Wells]

Here is what I'm suggesting. Even though it is crude, I think a picture to illustrate my thoughts may help to clarify.

I radically simplified the background, enlarged the subject and altered his proportions slightly so that he might appear more "heroic" (and yes, his head is smaller). I also cropped his "problem" feet, emphasized the polo equipment next to him and played with the tent as a design feature at the top of the painting.

[Jeanine Jackson]

Karin, I see. Finally!

[Jeanine Jackson]

OK. Wiped out and restated underpainting. It's a whole new Ralph. Important and, hopefully, triumphant.

I cannot thank you all enough for caring enough to persist in your comments.

Looking good, but don't forget to make his head a little bit smaller.