Kelly

Brian McDaniel · 10-19-2002, 01:38 AM

Hello, all.

It's been awhile since I've posted anything here. I've been pretty busy but recently finished two portraits, the first of which I will post now.

This is Kelly, a lovely neighbor girl on my street. The purpose for this portrait is to be used as a sample in a local gallery to hopefully get me some more commissions.

It is oil on canvas, 24" x 20" from a photo I took. (Sorry, I forgot to scan the original photo to include here)

I am basically done with it, with the exception of whatever good ideas you folks have for me. One of my thoughts was if there are enough flowers in the painting. The original bouquet was much larger, but being white flowers, I didn't want a massive bouquet of white pulling the viewer's eyes to the bottom of the picture. Also, I wasn't too fond of her hand, but I also figure it isn't very noticeable down at the bottom of the painting and didnt really need to be tightly detailed.

Any thoughts, suggestions, comments are very welcome.

Brian McDaniel · 10-19-2002, 01:42 AM

Here is a close-up on her face.

I noticed when the first one showed up that the reds are a bit stronger than they are in the painting. Could be my monitor, or it could be just how they scanned out. I color-correct in Photoshop, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's color-correct to everyone else's monitor.

Steven Sweeney · 10-28-2002, 08:04 PM

Brian,

You've probably got this one down off the easel by now, but just a couple of notes . . .

You mentioned trouble getting a true representation of red in the reproductions, so this might be moot, but I guess I'd have lowered the intensity of the red in the lips. Also, the lips seemed "lined" with a dark red line that makes for a hard edge around the perimeter, giving the lips kind of a pasted on look. I'd have softened that line, especially in the area of the corners of the mouth. Some variation in the line between the lips would add interest.

The other note has to do with the width of the shoulder on our right. It seems short, compared both to her head and to the shoulder on the other side (which, given foreshortening, should actually be the one to appear shorter, if either does). I note that the frilly edge of the collar on our left is still some distance from the turn of the shoulder, whereas on our right it's right up next to the turn of the shoulder. This is producing a slight forward pull to that shoulder and throwing the placement of the arm a little off. I realize that doing anything about that now is going to be a big job. Just something to put on the checklist for the next 3/4 body profile.

[Later -- as I look again at the shoulder, I think what's happened is that the neck got too wide, and the collar was pushed over by that, and then also doesn't ever quite make the "round" around the neck and down the back. This would actually not be that difficult to rework, if you were inclined to do so.]

John Zeissig · 10-28-2002, 10:04 PM

Hi Brian,

Thanks for your advice on the eyes on my previous post for critique. I think the flowers are fine the way they are. Your instinct seems correct on that point. The hand looks O.K. too, although I really can't tell on screen. The one thing that might need a little adjustment would be a slight shadow under the upper eyelids, and into the corners on the whites of the eyes. The ribbon on the bouquet looks very good.

I've been concerned about the appearance of the posted images too, particularly with respect to color. I recently bought Chris Saper's book, and it's been a real eye opener for me. One of its many virtues is the fact that lots of her paintings that illustrate the text are also available on her website, so it's easy to hold up the book next to the screen and compare the two. The differences can be enormous. Also, I've yet to see a single post of mine that didn't undergo big color shifts compared to the actual painting. So what do the real paintings look like?

I think that we have to weigh the feedback that we get in these critiques in the light of what we, with access to the genuine paintings, can see on the canvas. In the final analysis the artist has to call his/her own shots. But then, that's one of the best things about doing this kind of work.

I think this painting will bring you some business if the display venue is any good!

Brian McDaniel · 11-08-2002, 02:37 AM

Thanks for the comments, all. I hadn't noticed the front shoulder being foreshortened so much. I guess that's just one of the bonuses of getting critiques, isn't it?

Thanks again, will be posting another soon.