Self Portrait with the Stomach Flu
 

I've been hesitating in posting this self portrait for a couple weeks due to the range of negative responses it has elicited from my friends and family. I painted it in about 2.5 - 3 hours in the studio in the evening, with really soft overhead light. I had been ill with the flu for several days and while I set about to do a study of my ear, wound up becoming intrigued by my gray-ish and gaunt face, skipping painting the ear all together.

Almost everyone who has taken a look at this painting has an immediate and utter dislike for it. Mostly, they say "I don't see you this way." While I grant everyone the right to their opinion, I've decided that I LOVE IT, and I finally have the guts to post it to this forum.

There are some things about this painting that I did intentionally that are on the edge of appearing incorrect. I'm not sure if that simply means I am just still such an inexperienced painter that I am not yet good enough to pull off tweaks like this. I smudged the forehead, half closed the eyes, opened the mouth and elongated the neck on purpose. This is just how I chose to paint me; not pretty, not stunning, not photorealistic, just the way I felt that night.

I would be so interested in your feedback and critique. Thank you.

Mara

Well, your friends love you, and your self-portrait probably doesn't match how they view you. Whereas you were intrigued by artistic ideas - which is entirely a different way to think about things. I like the skin tones and the feel of the piece.

I think it is a great portrait, Mara. It is wonderfully sensitive and alive, and there is an intensity in all parts of the painting. I think you achieved a real clarity of light, and also a translucency and delicacy in the skin (a lovely blue in the mid-tones too). And also there is a great understanding of the forms within the light. But mostly it is so alive - a portrait of a real person, very honest and strong, and full of feeling.

I have never seen anyone with the flu look like they normally are. This is so honest and real. I can see your misery. You captured that sickly pale look so well. When I am sick I can't paint a lick. My hat is off to you.

Thank you Julie, Thomasin and Richard. Thank you for realizing the artistic expression involved in painting this self portrait. Unfortunately we are pertty much judged only by "how much it looks like you," by the general audience. I thought I would also post a closeup to display the brushwork.

It is even better in close up. The dull look in the eyes says it all.