Artist's Statement - HALP!
 

When I am asked for my Artist's Statement on Portraits I'd like to change the subject.

I usually haul out and dust off what I secretly call "My Drivel Sheet." It is so dry and boring it could be used as a safe medical alternative for opium.

Does anybody care to read a long list of "important" people that nobody really knows or cares about? I admit that maybe if I painted a president or a pope I'd want to brag about it a little.

Does an Artist Statement make a difference to anyone?

Has anyone gotten a commission because of an Artist Statement?

Did anybody ever enjoy reading an Artist Statement?

Has anybody ever seen an artist statement that is actually interesting and/or fun to read? I'd love to read it!

I need to rewrite my Artist Statement and would like some input from my fellow portrait artists. Painting a portrait is a piece of cake compared to writing one of these things. Yuck.

HALP!

I love it Sharon! Thanks for a good laugh.

How about including a long list of important and impressive sounding clients (like these below)? Sounds like it could provide the tipping point to inspire a potential client to grab a checkbook (and hopefully not run out the door with it).

Admiral Alf A. Romeo
Lady Anne Teak
Prof. Chris Coe
Judge Brock Lee
Ambassador and Mrs. X. Benedict
Marshall Law
Atty. Lou Pole
Dr. I. Ball
General Strike
Coach Stanley Cupp
Senator Matt Tress
Mrs. Biff Wellington
Lord and Lady Cheesebag
Hedgehog Museum, Lesser Storping, UK

Heavens, I'm on a roll and can hardly stop myself...

I'm unaware of anyone who paints who "likes" the puffery that attends exhibiting. There is a difference between a bio, a curricula vitae and an "artist's statement" . . . but no one likes any one of 'em any better than another!

Here's the thing . . . gallerists like 'em because the "public" demands to have this connection with the artists whose work they view. Think of it as a necessary evil . . . bios are easy enough, as are the stats, i.e. what you've done to be impressive the last short while (curricula vitae). The statement could be gleaned from that site that has a computer randomly generating psychobabble and artspeak . . . (My work in is about the sympathetic syntesis of simplistic dualities . . .) ;)

Every profession has its vapid statements and here is one of my personal favorites: "As Miss America my goal is to bring peace to the entire world, and then to get my own apartment." I do not want to write the artsy version of THAT.

Thanks Richard, If our purpose were to encourage the client to "connect with us" wouldn

Karin, I think a person can be honest, and still "play the game". In some ways, the hand-wringing we do over this stuff points to those time-honored notions of "selling out", "commercialism", and the really whacked idea that being an artist who is commercially succesful is somehow dishonest in itself. (?!? what's up with that ??)

So far as we are entirely honest, the whole process of bios, statements and CVs seems ridiculous, because the works should speak for themselves. It's why we paint instead of writing novels . . .

As for presenting one's self as an "ordinary person", that would depend to some degree on the particular gallerist's marketing angle. In a world where amateurs, "late bloomers" small children and animals periodically can be (and regularly are) idolized as "masters", the "puffery" that attends CVs claiming an artist is a genius, a scholar who studied under Rembrandt and Michelangelo, displays in all major museums, and is collected by hundreds of influential people is "necessary" self-defence that qualifies one's career, justifying it as something that truly is beyond the ordinary. In general, the public wants to believe that artists present deeper "truths" by virtue of elevated philosophies, understanding and techniques. The marketing of art depends upon its being a meritocracy. Only "the best" sells; to be seen as "the best", it has to be "something really special".

Of course, it begs the question whether this paperwork actually accomplishes that, and truly, I have my doubts!

Sharon, don't get me started....

Vice President Dick Tater
Dame Jeanne Poole
The Right Honorable Duane Pipe
Field Marshall Luke Warm
Ranger Rich Shaw
Vicar Will Power
Professor Rein Enright

Richard, thanks for your thoughtful comments . There is a lot to chew on here and I tend to agree with what you say. My problem is that I couldn't actually organize my thinking to say much that was intelligent.

So instead, I've chose to waste my time by making up silly but important-sounding names to stick on my faux list.

The thought of sitting down and writing yet another Artist Statement (trying to finally get it right) completely flummoxed me and alas, once again, I may put it off a little bit longer.

Here's an artist's statement I read somewhere a long time ago, somewhat paraphrased as I can't remember the exact words:

"I like to paint. If I wanted to write, I would have become an author. "

Giggle. I wish I could get away with something like that - but I think not. Drat.

Karin,

Just hearing the words "Artist Statement" is irritating, never mind writing one. My sincerest condolences.