Blue satin sashes
 

I'm a little embarrassed... I still haven't completed my Campbell painting (and several others), but fortunately I've gotten a reprieve. In the meanwhile, this 30" x 40" painting needs to be delivered out-of-state on Saturday. I still have some work to do yet. Any c/c would be greatly appreciated! :)

Thanks,
Christy

P.S. Sorry, this is going to be very small. The site wouldn't allow me to go any larger than 400 pixels wide, which is small, because this is horizontal. I must have done something wrong...

No, Christy, you haven't done anything wrong in sizing your image! That is as large as you can go with a horizontal format. You could post some closeups, though. I would particularly like to see a closeup of the two girls, and maybe ones of their heads and other details. It's too hard (and too presumptuous) to try giving a critique without seeing more detail.

Hi Alexandra, thank you for responding. I'm working on this today and I'll post the finish and the close-ups tonight or tomorrow. I'd just read some advice you gave to someone else about using a photo reference the same size as your art. I just printed out some new references of the girls. Up til now on this, I've just been working from a couple of 5" x 7"s of the entire scene. Doh! Your advice should help dramatically, although I still don't intend to get very detailed.

Ok, if I understood correctly, you do not have much time with this. Alex is absolutely right to be able to critique the girls one must have some closeups. Now, being that this is as it is, these are my suggestions. The center of attention, the girls you have defined quite well. The setting needs some adjusting. The brick wall and the steps for now look good but most things behind the girls could diminish in focus, value and temperature. As is there are elements that suggest that the house is at a distance but other elements like the walk suggest that this is not so. A sort of conflict between is and isn't.

If by chance, what I say is not that clear and this is quite possible, please say so. Otherwise wish you all the best

Thanks for responding Mischa. I'm sheepishly presenting this-- wish it was better. I actually do have more time than I said. The lady who is delivering this for me tricked me! She's not going til next week... she knows me too well, I guess. This is one of my so called 'impressionistic portraits'. I don't do much detail in their faces usually. There definitely still needs to be refinement there though. Anyway, here it is. I'm in the midst of adding some subtle highlights here and there in the background bricks.

I'll add more closeups soon.

Thank you for the closeups. Two thing that stick and both in the older girls facial features. I am sure that the outline below the nose her lips and chin need some adjusting. Second the neck of the older girl has to many value changes or should I say detail. I would suggest you just have a light and shadow are no detail of tendons and such things, only a indication of cylindrical form.

As the saying gos it is finished when you say it is finished.

Thanks Mischa, I'm bothered by the older girl's neck too (among other things). I say it's not finished!

Here's a link to see the image better. You can click on the larger size icon over the image.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/portraitgirl/475956293/

Please let me know if this link is unacceptable; I'll remove it.

I'll have another session with this and hopefully just one more update.

If you simplify the neck as I suggested and make the other adjustments I think it will be a good thing. If you have more time with this, then I would think on other things like the walkway. I think that there is to much detail sharpness and light on the walkway which takes away from the illusion of depth.

Thanks Mischa. I'll do as you say and submit another photo. :)

OK Mischa, I've worked on her and am now wondering what you'll think ...

Just a suggestion
 

I have made some touches on the forehead, cheek, around the lips and the lips, chin, chin to the neck and the neck and shoulder, around the clavicle dip. Put the two photos side by side in photo shop and see if you can notice the difference and if the difference appeals to your concept.

Thank you so much for taking the time to do that for me Mischa! I think the biggest difference for me is that the collarbone seems more prominent in yours, whereas in mine it's practically nonexistent. Your neck area definitely looks more graceful. I'll work on it and update this again later.

Hi Christy,

I just noticed you posted these closeups and that you have more time to work on this. How nice for you! I had thought, since you had to deliver it the next day, there was no point in commenting.

I do agree with Mischa about the older girl's neck, but you've probably already worked on it. As for the facial features, the modeling looks well done.

My major comments are on the setting. First of all, I love how you have painted the brickwork in the foreground. (I feel similarly about the stonework in your portrait of Campbell.) So many artists overdo the detail and the contrast but you have a nice feel for painting this kind of thing. However, the path leading back to the house appears to bulge and loses its illlusion of lying flat on the ground. The house wall, windows, door,etc., all lean to the left slightly. Is this just in your jpeg or is it in the original artwork? You should check that all the verticals are truly vertical by measuring in two different places from the edge of the canvas to the edge in question.

Did you soften the values in the background? In your latest image the house looks different. I like it. I think you could go a step further showing change of color/value in the grass as it recedes.

Alexandra,

Thank you so much for your comments! The verticals in my painting need some slight touching up in a couple places, but they are not leaning to the left in reality like they are in the photo. I must've tilted the canvas or something taking the photo, although a couple verticals on the right seem fine on the pic. :bewildere

I'm working on the walk.. I'm going to lessen the intensity of the green as it recedes, like you suggest as well. I think that will make a nice improvement. In the photo it appears a fairly flat intense green evenly across the picture. I wonder if I had taken the time to notice while snapping the photos if it would've appeared that way, or if it is a case where the photo doesn't pick up on the nuances...

I'll post some photos in a bit. :)

Christy

The canvas is tilted a little on the easel. Here's a link to a closeup:

http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne...8902495&size=l

I'm having a difficult time getting a good photo. The contrast in the photo is higher than in the painting. The house doesn't appear quite that dark in the painting and the dresses aren't quite that bright.

I think they will be quite pleased with this. Sure, you can spend more time with this nudge this and nudge that but why. I do agree with what Alex mentioned in regard to the verticals. The verticals are a must!! There cannot be even a hint of slant unless the house is built at a slant and that is not likely.

A job well done and All the best to you.

Thank you Mischa! :) I'm happy you think I did well. And thank you too for your help.

I can never resist fiddling with them though as long as they are in my house! If it changes much before I deliver it, I'll probably post yet another photo.

Christy