Time Management: How do you do it?
 

I've had three seperate conversations with other artists this week about time and how to arrange your day to maximize the amount of work produced, devote time to marketing, work on drawing skills, etc.

Does anyone have any special tips to share about making the best use of your time?

Here's the first one, from me: set a timer for computer use and internet browsing. When the timer goes off get back to work! (I set timers for lots of things, by the way, including getting household chores done.)

Develop insomnia!

Say No to just about everything - leave the house messy, do not ever iron, teach the kids to do laundry, never get your hair cut, refuse to cook and last but not least - get a wife. ;)

I used to have a business planner on my computer, where I kept long term and short term goals with a beeping reminder. If I wanted certain things done by a certain date, I would enter them on the calender and do them according to priority. This worked well as long as I didn't get sick or had to travel unexpectedly.

I have not worked on a tight schedule in a long time, but for what it's worth I have found that 3 to 4 hours a session is about as much painting I can do before I start to make careless mistakes. The minute I feel I am drifting, I read E mails or do other art related things.

Being a morning person, the most productive time is from
7 am through around noon. That still leaves plenty of time in the afternoon for other things. I have sketchbooks in my car and by the TV which allows me to practice my drawing skills (same goes for reading material).

I think it is important to lead a well balanced life, where time is set aside for business activities, hobbies, family and friends. With a bit of time management and a certain degree of flexibility anything is possible.

Since my best time and energy are immediately after I have awakened (6:15 is earlier that I like, get ready for the day, and kids to school by 7am), and if I do't go to the gyn on my way home, I know I won't do it later in the day.

If all goes smoothly I am at my easel by 7:15, or by 8:00 on gym/grocery days.

I leave my computer on all day, and when I take a break ( usually for more Diet Coke) I'll check out what's going on, then get back to work. This is fine with me because interruptions don't seem to break my concentration, but not everyone works this way. By 1;30 or 2:00 my brain is too tired to paint any more, and as Enzie describes, I'll start to undo whatever progress I've made during the day. Kids get picked up by 3:30, so once I get home I have a bit more time to goof around at my easel, return calls correspondence, etc. By 5:00 I am pretty worn out, dinner, homework, and the mindless stuff.

So my tips?
-Whenever your best concentrating time is should be devoted to painting, because it's harder than anything else in your day.
-Fit in your obligations in whatever windows are created.
-Do not spend time at your computer or anywhere else if you find that it is procrastinating time, or if your concentration gets interrupted by - well, interruptions.
-Buy low, sell high.
-It doesn't hurt to buy a lottery ticket.

This is probably WAY more information than anyone cares to hear. Linda, I hope you are not sorry you started this thread :)

My above post was joking of course - but I did want to add one note of seriousness.

I will re-arrange my life when I'm in a good groove. If it is happening at night - I stay up. Maybe not the healthiest of habits, but I can always grab a nap when the kids are at school. If it happens during the day I postpone household chores, send out for pizza and let the kids know this is a painting day or evening. I'll get one of the older ones to help the youngest with homework, etc. Bribery works well in this area. If the husband is home and he knows Im groovin he will cook or bring something home and sometimes step up and help with the kids. If he isnt - living messy til the groove is done is OK as well. There are things of course that can't be put off - like the kids band concert tomorrow night, but that's ok. I'll paint after we get home!

Without question, the decay in my time management skills since I've been home full time has been the biggest threat to my wobbly career. It is so reassuring to hear that it is a challenge for everyone. Apparently, time is like closet space and money: the more you have the more you need.

I have not yet implemented this, but I'm thinking of starting a system whereby I keep a time sheet for each project. That way, I can see on paper how much time I'm actually spending on a project as opposed to how many weeks ago I should have had it done. Might prove to be good discipline. Anyone else ever try something like that?

This might sound weird. It's hard to know, but here goes. (The last sentence will make sense of it, if the rest doesn't. Maybe writing it is therapuetic for me?) The last two years have been hell on my career. The troubles started with a divorce, and a move to Taipei (I've spent most of my adult life in Asia) and then Naples looking for inspiration. My colors became darker, and with that sales dramatically dipped. (Although portraiture is my first love, most of my income comes from still-life sales.) I moved back to California to try to restart my career and had a bit of success with sales, but all in all I was in a $25,000+ credit card debt. I was either forced into bankrupcy or working a "job" full time and losing my career. So, I moved again. This time to Shanghai so that I could teach English part-time and gradually come out of debt. It is working, and all of last year was spent painting about three hours a day. Reading, teaching and recovering.

The thought that I have in writing this, is that the question of time management may be answered with a stretch of the imagination. We can try to go beyond what we consider our lifestyle, and thus put ourselves in a position to be able to paint more. (That was the part that was supposed to make sense of this thread. I hope it did, or maybe I have to digest it more.)

Good luck to all as it at times feels as if all of the powers of nature are trying to pull us out of our studios.

As a student I paint from 9:00am to 4:30pm or so, with an hour lunch break. I'm almost finished with my second of four years of school, and plan to stick to a similar schedule when I'm done, but I'll probably start earlier in the day since my studio will be in my home. I've wondered if I have the self discipline to do that, and have worked over the summer to keep myself used to the schedule, although I'm more flexible then. I've tried to make the habit of doing the "extra" chores, like stretching canvas, transferring, supply shopping, etc outside of school time so that I can make the best use of my time here.

I also keep track of all my projects in a notebook, with a running total of time on each one. I keep track of the stages of a project (drawings, muscle overlays, lay in, etc.) I also keep track of models in that book, noting the hours they work, what and when they're paid.

My husband helps me stretch canvases and does the framing for me. When I finish school and we go back home to Washington things will change some, but I hope to be so used to the schedule by then that it will naturally continue. I foresee only one problem, we have to take the time to build a house (with my studio in it) before I can go to work full time.

Ok - this quote is from Chris under a different thread.

Kim,

I am interested that you have multiple projects going on simultaneously! If I tried that, you would only be able to visit me at the institution every other Sunday betyween 2:00 and 2:15. AM.

You might share your processes in the Creativity - Time management thread ,as I think many members would be interested.
__________________
www.ChrisSaper.com


I've answered above, but I have heard so many comments about how fast I am that I'll share my usual schedule. I dont even think I'm that fast - I always feel like I need to paint more. Anyway - on a good day it would be like this -

Up at 6 am - get kids ready and to school - back by 8am
Dishes and other house chores until about 9:30
Nap until about 11:30 (if I've been up late the night before)
Shower, lunch and sometimes exercise until 12:30
In the studio by 12:30 - paint until 3 pm (with internet breaks)
Pick up kids, help with homework, dinner, bed times, etc until 8pm
Sit with husband and watch tv or visit until he goes to bed, maybe 9:30
10pm - paint until my eyes give out...usually between 2-3am

Now - that's an 8-hour painting day, but in truth it's usually a lot more. I skip exercise a lot and can sometimes skip some house stuff and the nap... Realistically that is the schedule above when I am behaving myself. When I am not and really inspired the house gets messy, the kids eat more cereal than usual and the husband comes and sits by me in the studio. If there isnt much homework I can also paint from 4-6pm.

Now - on Jean's advice I am trying to be more healthy. I haven't skipped my exercise now in 3 weeks which is causing me to sleep better - plus I'm doing a bit of packing for our move in a month. (Congratulate us on our new home we bought! Big place with a huge pool!)

The thing about having all these paintings going at once - that's fairly new, but it isn't too bad. One thing that is working well is that I'll have my palette mixed for skin colors to work on one. When I've done all I can and need to let it dry I'll take the palette of paint as its still wet and move onto the next painting with it. Same with a palette for fabrics or backgrounds. This started with getting frustrated with paint drying too fast and trying not to waste it. I actually think it is helping me a bit to be more consistant in my 'style'. I often would paint paintings differently - but as I am working on more at once they seem to be more tied in and look like my work...I think.

Chris - I dont know if this is much help to anyone since I dont think most people could sleep the broken up way I do. Jimmie can though - I know that!

Only one other note I'd make. Im totally serious above where I said 'dont get hair cuts, etc..' I have that curly hair and no one can tell I chop the bangs myself occasionally. I dont get my nails done anymore. I internet shop as much as possible instead of wasting time. I leave home as little as possible. I dont volunteer like I used to at the kids' schools. I combine chores when I have to go shopping or pick up the kids. etc. I also spend my weekends painting...sometimes as many as 40 hours from Friday early to Sunday night (when the husband takes the kids/cooking duties) These aren't sacrifices - it's what I love to do. The only time I can seriously get dragged away from the studio for days is when the family insists on going camping or a family thing.

I promise I'm not trying to hijack the thread....it does tie in.
This is one evening - maybe from 8pm - 2am with plenty of breaks looking up at the TV. I was set up in the livingroom that night to watch some program while I painted....
I dont think it was that much accomplished for the hours...
The first one I dont have a 'before' shot - but the background was in. I just did the first lay-in of skin color and hair.
The second one I have posted the before and then just worked on her face and hair that night. Neither are nearly done. These are the two I worked on that night.

Is this fast?

Time Management
 

Here's what I have been doing this school year - getting too little sleep, leaving the dishes for the morning because I am too busy with projects at night, not putting away the clean clothes so that they are on every open space in my room while the dirties go to the floor, never getting around to washing the car, paying a neighborhood child to walk the dog these last ultra-busy weeks of school, buying fresh foods meaning to cook them but not getting around to it so throwing them out, eating too much fast food, getting charges once on a credit card because I lost track of the bill in my mess and paid it late.

Here's what I plan to do - work only 4 days a week next year, with an agreed cap on how many kids I see per week (I'm a speech-language pathologist in a public school system). Before this I had to take however many were thrown at me, and it was always horrendous numbers. It means a 20% pay cut at the same time that certain bills, like insurance, are going up, so I am dealing with fear, but feel it is necessary for sanity. Plan to supplement income if possible by renting out a master bedroom that I am transforming into an efficiency apartment. Maybe do some supplementary contract speech therapy if things get too rough financially. Watch my expenditures more carefully. Certainly hope to sell more portraits, and hope that the gallery owner who took me on this year can sell some commissions like she did for other portrait artists in the past.

I need some balance in my life, including taking the time to exercise and eat right. Adding art to an already stressful life messed me up physically to some degree, too. So - enough already - I am wanting to paint, but not to the degree that I kill myself. With another day free, I hope to use that time wisely, which will include painting/drawing time.

My turn, my turn.

Wake up about 7am to get my daughter ready for school. At 8:30, I check my mesages and other online stuff. Then either squeeze a few minutes of painting time, cleaning, or take a half hour nap. Shower at 11am, get to work by 12noon.

Stab and make people bleed until 9 or 10pm. Most of the day, wish I was home painting.

Get back home around 9-11pm, eat, read my daughter a story (she stays up until I get home), make my wife watch cartoons. About 12am, I'm ready to paint. Paint til at least 2am if I'm really tired, 4am if I'm not tired or on Fridays and Saturdays.

Sundays are family days, I paint at 12am to 3am. When I'm done painting or drawing, I have a glass of milk.

Jimmie - I can't help but wonder if you and I have matching bags under our eyes? :cool:

Quite a thread! Seems people have been wanting to talk about this for a long time!

My "time management" tips, if you can call them that, are as follows:

First, get a couple of commissions with hard and fast deadlines. There's nothing like an unveiling that HAS to happen on a certain date to make you paint your little behind off, seven days a week, until the piece is done.

Second, "just say no" to almost everything else. About three years ago I decided I could only do two things if I was going to do a decent job of either one: family stuff and artwork. If anything comes up that's outside those two things, I pretty much don't do it. (That includes just saying no to housecleaning too. I hire a cleaning lady whenever I can.)

I try to keep my internet time to the hours before 7 am and after 7pm. I also need frequent breaks during my painting day (typically 9 am to 5 pm) so I pop online for a few short minutes here and there. Otherwise I make a few phone calls or do other paperwork stuff when I take my breaks out of the studio. Before 9 am and after 5 pm I'm Mom again.

I do keep time sheets, of two different types. I track how much time I work each week, and how much of that time is spent on painting, doing marketing, admin stuff or teaching. I average about 40 working hours a week. I also track, separately, how much time I've spent on each painting.

I've never been a night owl but I keep thinking how much more I'd be able to accomplish if I could work til 2 am. Of course, my family would disown me because I'd be a raving lunatic (more so than I am already).

Out of control
 

What a thread and a common one indeed.

I have been asking myself this very question and anyone else who would stop to listen.

Julie, I can relate so much with the "flavor" of your post. Particularly with the part about needing balance in your life and the forgetting bill time. I am at a point in my life when I should be very much in control and have plenty of time but I am busier than ever. Not that I didn't intentionally plan it that way but somehow I have allowed it to get out of control.

My 5 adult kids are all on their own now and my time was better, the last one out and ok over 15 years ago. Unfortunately, my hubby has been ill now and home all of the time for over 10 years. He has been able to take over the meals in the evening that has been a blessing and sometimes the laundry (although it is scary sometimes). Also, within the last 1 1/2 years I have opened my own Gallery and Gift Boutique -Tues- Sat. My intention was to paint on location within my shoppe. Well my left brain has plenty of battles with my right side of the brain -finding it very difficult to concentrate on serious work (commissions)

I proceeded to only paint still life, whatever I could to demo for my incoming customers. Now I have my easel (the Sorg here on the sideline) set up in part of my dining room at home with my serious portrait setting there. Now here is where I thought putting Michele's theory to work was for me. I have 5 commissioned portraits with their deadlines (sort of) . What I have found is that most of my clients will say "whenever" I finish is ok with them. So what do I do-----procrastinate.

Meanwhile I am working on my web pages myself, yes Kimberly I cut my hair myself for over 2 years now, manage my 4 rentals we have had for 10 years as extra income, clean our 10 room 2-story house (sometimes), go to some outside interests for the interest of my in-town business, on occasion sit with or play with one of our 12 grandchildren, do a yard sale, meanwhile my hubby is admitted to the hospital usually 3 times a year for 3-15 days, yadda yadda yadda.

I had better stop now as I feel I am hogging space. I am totally out of control of my life - painting life at least-feeling so distressed that I cannot paint and at the moment, I am flat on my back most of the past 3 days due to stress and problems in my back that I cannot walk.

Help!!!! I do actually accomplish most of all that I set out to do , believe it or not, but my body, my health and my painting is suffering.

I feel sometimes like I am racing against time but not sure why.



I will stop

Oh and I almost forgot, ( I said my memory is failing too) I also do 3 to 5 six day workshops a year in beginner oil painting.

Any suggestions as to how to actually orgainize my time -beginning with organizing my thoughts?

Thanks
Patt

I'd suggest one thing: priortize. Sounds like you do a lot of different things and maybe some of them have to fall by the wayside.

Michele, I totally agree on the priortize thing. I am very high energy and if I were to use todays' jargen, maybe a little ADD too in that my mind works the same way. It doesn't stop until I can finally sleep. Although I do not have trouble sleeping.

Please know that I am not really complaining but more asking for a 1,2,3, kind of list of how one goes about the priortizing thing. What do I liminate here. Believe me, my house has suffered because it definitely is not my prioity anymore like it used to be. It's not bad now you know but just not perfect, that lived in look.

Hubby says all of the time that one thing is that I am a perfectionest and that is probably true. So I over-do.

Thanks for reply at least acknowledging that someone out there read it.

Have a good day
Patt

Patt,

I can relate to a lot you wrote, especially the "racing against time".

After years taking care of family, we have time to do more for ourselves. But how much time is left? 10 years? 20? 40? That mortality factor....

When I was young I assumed I had plenty of time. Now I know better. I had better get what I want to do done before it is too late.

The paradox is: if artwork is done to the exclusion of basic health, potential painting time is shortened by default.

The priorities: enough sleep, taking time to cook right and exercise. Certain household basics. That takes care of the physical. Then the emotional/spiritual. For me, emotional needs include the need to create.

I am jumping in here, as I use internet time to walk away from the art stuff.

Reading the above posts, I guess I do sort of have a rhythm, if not a schedule.

I am in life limbo but the only cohesion is painting. I had to move out of my home of 13 years in January and am rooming in a very nice place but under emotionally impossible conditions with an ex-boyfriend whose recent divorce made an extra bit of cash very attractive. The digs are very temporary and very far from my sphere of influcence. I have begun to live in my car and it is not pretty.

Since I have restarted painting, I have always kept supplies in my trunk and I got a big rolling suitcase so I have a little shop on wheels. I do as many demos as I can anywhere they will let me. Presently I paint probably 4-6 hours on weekends at a pet friendly coffee house 20 miles from my present living quarters, but have added a fancy resort hotel to the list at 2-3 hours a stint a couple of days a week and it is only 30 miles away. When I drive I think and listen to the radio so I am becoming political! The painting demos are my real advertizing. The paintings I do there have rarely been commissions but I will paint anyway, so if I do it in public, I am widening my range of visibility.

When I hit home, I print brochures. I always include 10 with my commissions and feature the painting I just did on the cover! That way when the client is spreading the word on my work, they are doing it with DOUBLE pride! So that means more computer time. That is as much fun as watching paint dry because I have a very old machine.

I also have a day job, also 20 miles away and I have tried to limit my days there to three. I can set my own schedule but when you DON'T want clients, they can't leave you alone. I have tried this week to to a demo in the morning and am moving the clients to evening and afternoon. It is exhausting but I feel better about my miles on the road, adding the extra ten on top of the first 20!

I paint when I get home and mostly on the weekdays off. The roommate situation has made me a cave dweller. I seem to have odd rituals that include pacing from room to room, piddling about sort of like winding a spring. After hunting for lost things, looking in the refrigerator for nothing, wiping counters, balancing a check book, all the while, forming the image in my head, I sort of LEAP into work and paint. The other night, I had three pieces roughed in for the demos (NEVER go totally blank, always look good from the first stroke or I lose the audience....) I found myself finishing two and literally locking myself out of the room so I would have at least an hour of time to do! I have to schedule life in between painting and it makes it hard to find the people to buy the work when I prefer to be making it than selling it.

Today, I am going to go out in two hours. I have nothing ready. There are two LARGE animal commissions looming, that I have sent layouts to the clients, but have not gotten confirmation to proceed. I will not touch a canvas until I get a committment. I have plenty of good things in my head without speculating on art I cannot resell. SO I will play with a few of my own photos for a half hour and pick one. Then I will sketch and do an underpainting in acrylic so I have a start. Then I will paint for three hours and chat. Hopefully I will pass out enough brochures and ONE person will either get a picture out of their wallet or actually email something to me so I can start a long distance relationship.

When I get permanent digs, I will have sitters. I have worked from life for so long, that photos are seriously cheating for me. I like doing all my composition in the computer before I paint and then disengage my brain and just paint.

This was about time management.

I have a priority and whenever I talk to people, I point out that I have an excellent work ethic but a rather nebulous job! Under all this perceived chaos is one goal: Make enough money to have art as my job. This means putting a shingle out in front of a studio and finding a home ALONE to sit my buns in when I want to watch Jon Stewart at midnight. That is when I crash now . . . until the roommate's garage door opens at 6:30 and lets me know I can start wandering the house again.

Well, the brain is wound, I have to put the painting together now and maybe meet a few members at the Scottsdale Princess today!

Debra,

Wow!! After reading your post , I feel better. It is truly amazing how your life sounds chaotic but organized in such a manner that you accomplish so very much. I went to your web site and I am very impressed to say the least.

In my case, I feel that much of my dilemma is that of having too many "things". I think that is a common complaint in the later years. I wish to scale down therefore,we finally put our house up for Sale. Of course, hubby asks, "what is scale down? don't you know the next house will still have to be cleaned,etc?"

Sometimes a little two bedroom cabin with a few trees around it, a porch with a comfy chair where I can sip my a.m. coffee or my cup of tea at dusk, a single easel, tiny table with a glass palette full of paint and brushes, enough beans and rice to suffice for awhile ---------well, I can dream can't I?

Life if so funny. The prior paragraph was almost a precise description of the way I began years ago--and then I wanted to do better. I sometimes wonder why human nature is that way and it truly is. In this space where I am in my head now is Solitude, quiet-ness, Spiritual. I love where I am now as far as my life goes ----I am definitely more at peace with myself. I sometimes think that is in some way--the problem. Like you said, Julie, after all those years of taking care of others, we often are at a loss of how to take care of ourselves---at least without a hint of guilt there.

Debra, I lived in Chandler for about 13 years-------wayy-y-y-y back in early 60's. As a matter of fact it was there that I had my first interest in painting.
Haven't been there since 1973 and I hear Chandler is hugely populated and so crowded now.
But I do leave an X there where I still have my name on a house---but that's another story. Tell ya sometime.

Linda:
I'm not qualified for talking about this topic, so:
http://www.mindtools.com/page5.html

Hello Linda,

I have a lot of thoughts on time management. Some may be worth your while to think about. Firstly, I try to learn a lot about this business by the people of today who I feel are the top business people of the day. They may not be artists, but they are successful largely due to their good habits and persistence.

Here are a few what I consider to be gems by Donald Trump the New York City Real Estate Developer on this very topic:

From "The Art Of The Deal"

Page 7- "...lunch: a can of tomato juice. I rarely go out, because mostly, it's a waste of time."

Page 12- After writing about a phone call he received that covered a lot of turf. "Our call lasts less than two minutes. That's one thing I love about Alan: he never wastes time."

Page 33- "Also when I do give an interview, I always keep it short. This reporter is in and out in less than twenty minutes. If I didn't limit myself, I could spend my life talking to the press."

Donald Trump is a hard man in many ways. It may not be so necessary for an artist to be this strict with oneself. However, from time to time we could probably save a lot of time for painting just by letting the phone ring, using the computer with a timer on it, etc. I for one have benefited from the words the I just wrote from that book. I tend to be a second coffee kind of guy before going into the studio at times.

Also, any book I read about successful habits comes from people who are up and working at no later than 6:00am. I've started that habit as well.

Good luck,
Anthony

I have revisited this thread several times, looking for help managing my time. But it is not just time we have to manage. How do you manage your relationships, too?

I did NO art during the 25 years I raised my two sons, alone. In the desperate moments of the business of being a single mom to two active boys I whispered over and over to myself, "when K and K are grown and out of the house, it will be MY TIME, to pursue my passion for portraiture, to larn to draw and to paint. I will be my first priority then"

Well the kids are grown and out of the house for five years now. And I have returned to my art and I feel progressed fairly well in the pat few years (especially since finding this fourm two years ago, thank you cynthia and all those who have helped me immeasurably)

I have even changed my work schedule to four ten hour days so that I have an extra day at home. What I have accomplished time wise is this:

Saturday morning I try to get all household chores done, grocery shopping, errands, housecleaning, etc. On good days I can get to the studio by mid afternoon and have a couple hours...except my fiance wants dinner and to go out at night - when I am pooped.

Sunday I try to take the morning to relax read the paper, Sunday breakfast, time with jack on our new wrap around porch in our new house, church. Afternoon a three or four hour time in my studio wherre I paint or draw and break every 45 minutes to change out th laundry. Sunday evening Jack is home and wants to take our long walk in the valley, or go out on a friend's boat, etc.

Monday is studio day. I turn off the phone, I will not touch a mop or broom, or washcloth or dish soap or even take a shower until evening. I AM IN MY STUDIO . and come 6pm when Jack gets home I am so sad that the day is over.

My problem is that now I am hearing complaints that the house is a mess, I never want to cook, and I am always tired...At what emotional/relationship lengths will we go as artist, to commit to our art and to life partners?

And still, with only about 15 hours to DO art I still wonder how I am going to learn photography?? My studio needs lots of work still, establishing a place to put my model and the correct lighting, learning photoshop, how to photograph my models, building a model stand, shopping for art supplies (mostly that is done on line these days, which is fine) And then after that there are my boys, my grandchildren, my ailing father, my five siblings and all the weddings birthday parties showers work picnics to attend

LIFE IS SHORT, A DAY IS BRIEF. CAN I BECOME AN Accomplished artist and still have A life??? Seriously, there are so many times I think I need to escape Cleveland altogether, take my puppy and live like a hermit, near New York (so I can take Marvin's Saturday classes), but dirt poor, without a job . . .

Juggling it all
 

Patty,

I can relate, as I'm sure many of us can. In our society, we have a "do it all" theme. There are so many things complicating our lives that we feel sapped of our vitality and guilty when we try to "steal" moments to regain some measure of energy. There has been a lot written about how to simplify and regain your life and I personally could open a library dedicated to that subject! One of the all-around best websites I have ever seen in helping folks (particularly women, but not only women) reverse the energy draining trends in their lives is Flylady . The woman who started the site has workable solutions, tips, philosophical discourse and fun attitude adjusting challenges and musings.

There is hope! :cool:

Hi Patricia -

I sure can relate! In fact, I was just journaling about this topic (again) this morning. Although my relationship issues are different: divorced with one college-aged son commuting to school and working part-time from home.

I'm learning that I have to set boundaries with him. In fact, I just informed him today that if he wants me to pick up anything for him at the store, that I only plan to go shopping on Fridays. It's a good boundary for me, too, so that I don't waste time.

The next boundary I need to set is what times I will actually be in the studio. If I don't do that, I find that the more insistant stuff gets done first. I plan to let my son know those hours, too, and post them outside my studio.

I've decided that I will do what I can and quit the fretting. I will not be as good an artist personally if I am worrying where my next meal is coming from, so quitting my job is not an option for me. (Plus I like my job - it fulfills a different aspect of my personality).

I'll probably never be a big-name artist, but what is more important to me - to enjoy my life and my art or to go half-crazy because I can't fulfill all the demands I put on myself? Today I am choosing balance. I'll do what art/business things I can and leave the results in God's hands.

Patricia wrote: Tell him you've been working all day and let him do his share of the house cleaning and cooking.

Even if it's part time you can view your art as a business, as a job, as work, and then insist that others around you respect it as such. To many of us, art is not "a hobby" and the only way to communicate that to some friends and family members is to keep reminding them.

Even after many, many years of selling my art for ever growing prices, and for gradually more and more presigious clients, my Mom still refers to what I do as my hobby. I remind her patiently that it's my job!

Thank you, Patricia, for reviving this thread. I can relate!

But I guess right now I have it pretty good. I live alone. My apartment is small so there isn't that much to clean. (I have a yard with garden so that takes work but that is another love of mine). I have two cats, but cats are good because you don't have to walk them.
I just broke up with my long term relationship a couple of days ago. (It was my idea) and I couldn't be happier that, now, instead of having to sit around with him and try to think of things to do together, I can just paint or draw to my heart's content. No one can say, "You don't pay enough attention to me." Cats and laundry can't talk.

When I'm on my death bed, I doubt that I will think to myself, "gee, I should have mopped the kitchen floor more often." At least I hope my regrets will be grander than that!

I think women have it harder because, even in this day of gender equality, we still have to clean and cook and raise the kids, even though we are now also "free" to go out and work 40 hours a week!

My son is grown and living in another state. All my relatives are in another state, so I don't have to worry about that.
I have an active social life, but I can still have plenty of time during the week at nights to paint.
A solitary life gives one plenty of time to do what one likes.

The downside is sometimes I feel like I'm alone too much. I think we do have to balance all the aspects of our lives. And I have to enjoy what I'm doing and learning now with portraiture and let the future take care of itself. I feel the clock ticking too (we've shared about this before.) But I can't slow down time and I can't speed up my process. I have to accept both of those things if I want some sanity.

So if I get another partner, or a dog, I'll have less time to paint, but there are many aspects of me that need to be nurtured and fed. We have a theory in my day job: A person has to go away from their work to get more resources to come back and give to their work. If I spent every minute at the easel, I would not become a great artist, I would become a wreck. I have to be out and about seeing things and people and light and nature in order to put something on the canvas anyway.

I'm always looking and trying to see. I'm always responding to colors and shapes of things. I'm an artist no matter what I'm doing.

I bet, Patricia, that you wouldn't trade places with me for anything. When I'm on my deathbed, I probably will know how important family and relationships were. Maybe more important than painting.

Hello Pat, I just read your post and the others. I have not revisited this site for awhile. I see it is still an ongoing discussion.

I can certainly relate to the "relatonship thing here". I spoke briefly about it in my other posts. It seems to have gotton worse. The comments from the other half has gone from you work too hard to " you have painted most of your life and if I had done that and still not accomplished any more than you have----I would have the sense to give it up."

Go figure !

I am trying to deal with it. ;C

patt

Hello Patricia,
I believe we can all empathize with you to some degree or another. I've also had to remind people in my life that I am not spending time with a hobby, but it is a business. It helps greatly to have support from home on that issue. I feel lucky there. I have always gotten that support. I do feel giving support to the ones closest to us makes it more possible to receive what we want from them, in this case time in the studio.

Let us look at the situation from a different point of view- from the other person's point to view. Art is like a second lover. In many cases the relations in our lives realize they come in second place to our art. That is not an easy place to be for many people. It would be a lot more stimulating for many of them to just move on to a person who can give them all they crave. With that in mind let us think how we can show undying love and affection for the significant other and let him or her know that they are not the INsignificant other. Creatively thinking of ways to show love, "I love You" SMS's on the cell phone, a lovingly prepared romantic meal once in a while, a poem written by us or found among the archives of great poetry that we can read to our significant other are different ways to show partnership, love and dedication. Obviously being there during the hard times and listening empathically to the other person's thoughts are time proven ways of showing affection. I believe with these tactics, we won't have to demand time in the studio in the ways we may have to now. Our lover will feel more fed emotionally and probably be more supportive. There is no guarantee here, but it is a way to go. It will also help to build more emotional awareness in ourselves of the people around us. A quote I take seriously from Henry Ford goes like this. "If there is any one secret to success, it is in seeing things from the other person's point of view and then acting from that person's angle as well as your own." I feel it is a thought that will strengthen our relations in every area of our lives.

Lastly, and this is from a person who lives all the way in Shanghai and uses this website as a blood-line to other artists. I really appreciate the thoughts and the viewings of other artists work here. It is a God send. But with all of that in mind, MAYBE with over 700 times that you've written to the forum you can cut down on computer use. That is a time user to many of us.

Pat, I don't know how much time you use the computer, and I don't know how creatively attentive you are to your loved ones. So, if you feel this email is out of line, please don't take it personally. I see these writings by all of us as for all of us, so I hope they can help someone out there.

Yours,
Anthony

Very thoughtful words!

Mr. Emmolo--I can appreciate your view here but must say I am confused as to which Pat, Patricia--have you replied to :? Maybe both or all of us Patricias.

I first assumed it was me, Patt Legg but after your comment of "over 700" posts-I began to wonder. If you will notice I have only posted 230 times and the period is over 3 years.

Just my opinion of course. I am only speaking for myself but here goes:I shall only say that I may need "affidavits" or proof from my 5 adult children to verify the many hours I have put into "my relationship"over the years. Let's just say, I can do my own electrical wiring, roofing, building a deck, mending fences on 70 acre farm, cutting, stacking and carrying firewood in 10 degrees above 0, ironing, cooking 3 square meals a day for over 25 years ( at least 95% of them with everyone at the table at one time) motor-pool to/from meetings, cub scouts, 4-H, seeing 5 kids graduate with honors from high school, 3 of which went through college, moving 3 times with my hubby as that is what a wife does (in loving voice) supporting spiritually and emotionally through your spouses physical pain, bankruptcy, losing his self esteem, building character through all of his needs, adding notes between his sandwich slices occasionally ( love notes), setting up private " get aways" for us both on the sly after 20 years of marriage, acquiring his admiration in front of all of his friends as he states,'I would rather work with my wife than any man I know" she can read my mind.", -----
need I say more and believe me, I can say more.

Now Anthony, don't take this personally but

do you feel that the above resembles support? I must say in all honesty and with utmost respect to your opinion but I note that the support you are receiving is from "your wife" Correct?

I am not whining when I say, "it's time for me". I can say that and still have time to carry him coffee.

Best Regards
Patt

Michele, I had not seen your reply quote until I had posted.

I merely wish to add that some of us have lived this way for over 40 years and hope to be reciprocated in the next portion of our lives . For some of us we have been dedicated to our loved ones and still are but wish to have some consideration as being "validated" with the very life that we have worked toward. My art has taken LAST place for nearly all of those years and happily so. Now, I want to NOT feel guilty for the rest of them. Make sense??

I figure I speak for some of us anyway.

Patt

Hello again,

More thoughts on losing time.

I'm sitting in my studio painting and I found myself once again moving the brush with little to no concentration. What was the issue today? My part-time job here in Shanghai is English teaching. It pays well enough to keep me going comfortably when paintings don't sell. When they do, it is nice extra money. Well, two weeks ago we learned that our boss ran off to Taiwan without paying us a month and a half salary. The police are after her now, and her sales staff, teachers, school bus drivers and cleaning crew are all out a month and a half salary. My loss came out to $1,500US. My other loss came out to loss of concentration in the studio. I believe anyone would tell me I am correct for being angry, but still what do I get for it? Nothing but lost time. My feeling is that one way to be a real professional in this field is to grow through it. To use the pains that come into our lives to become a new person. To be used by those same pains is the sad truth for most of us, but with the aim toward inner growth, we can use the pain and not lose the valuable time we need.

Maybe I am speaking only for myself here, but I suspect we are all subject to this weakness to some degree or another.

By the way, it is this idea that fueled my recent thread called Chicken Soup for the Artist's Soul. (Catchy title, maybe I should write a book.)

Good luck to us all.
Anthony

Sounds like your recent commitment to your art is well deserved, Pat. Go for it!

I appreciate that so very much Michele. I am afraid that I have been caught with some of my pain showing as in the following quote--




Anthony, you are so right. I feel saddened for your loss. Maybe we can relate after all. Some of my irritation is due to similar circumstances and I am afraid that I have had a reaction to your words out of fear, sadness, and worry for some happenings in my own life at this time.

Thanks for letting me blow off steam and I pray that your life takes a brighter turn.

One door does not close without opening yet another one.

Take care
Patt

I guess time managment has just become easier. ;C

Hello Patricia,

I hope you are OK with your phone call. Things like this can hurt. We all know that. I just had the same thing happen to me a few hours ago. My Shanghainese girlfriend who needs more security than I can give her, just told me that she's been having an affair with another man. So, I told her to leave the house. I still don't know who dumped who. I guess I got dumped.

Anyway, it is times like this that we can remember how lucky we are to have our art work. The concentrated energy that goes into our artwork at times like this is what will make us new people over the years. The everyday thoughts, happinesses, pains are one thing, but this type of thing is like rocket fuel in attempts to grow emotionally. Real grief, worked with at the easel or in any way that we can, with no resentment, just accepting that what was given to us was our fate, is all we can do.

Good luck,
Anthony

Do I make any sense, or do I sound strange?

Yeah, you make sense. I know that when I work on my art I get excited and happy. I am getting settled in my apartment and guess what, I have a huge living room and dining room and second bedroom that all have hardwood floors and northlight windows in the dining room.

who needs furniture? I have only taken what I can move myself and this leaves LOTS of space for my art. I can't wait to start working this weekend on my next art project.


Good luck to you. I hope you are ok.

Be thinking of you

Pat, I hope your doing fine.

As hard as it sounds, you may be better off. If your having to do all the cooking, cleaning and work...your going to be resentful years down the road. The other Pat's story is all too familiar.

I wonder if because we love our art so much - it gives our families more reasons to resent it and treat it like a hobby? How many accountants love what they do and spend extra time at work? Because we arent moaning and complaining that we have work to do....like so many people who dont love their jobs, it's easy for our families to see it as a pleasure, not 'work.' My husband calls my painting time 'relaxation' (even though I bring in a significant part of the income). He compares my painting time to his TV viewing time in terms of stress vs. relaxation. I couldnt imagine wasting the time he does watching TV. He is right about one thing- I love what I do - we are lucky - those of us who get to do this. It shoudnt be a mark against you if you love what you do. If you have a significant other who doesnt help with the chores, kids, etc.... the only thing you can do at times is just to know you aren't doing anything wrong. It isnt wrong to let stuff slide if he/she wont help. It isnt wrong to expect the other person to carry their weight. It doesn't always work....so many partnerships are unbalanced and we cant make people do what we want always. Sometimes, we just have to suck it up and sleep less. And not let the discouraging, whining, selfish people in our lives bring us down.

I read something the other day that was funny...and could help anyone who is about to get into a relationship. The tip was 'If you dont want to be doing it all yourself for 20 years - dont start out doing it." In other words - if you dont want to be the only one in your house cleaning or cooking - dont start the relationship out by cooking and cleaning all the time thinking your partner will step up and appreciate you and do more later. It doesnt work that way...people naturally become spoiled and expect it. Make your expectations clear from the begining. Dont be afraid to get what you need. And don't settle for less than what you need. If you know you need your art - so make sure you insist that be a priority.

This isnt just a female problem...although that seems to be the majority. Women's Liberation didn't do much to help women as far as I can see. Now most women still raise the children, do the cooking and chores - but also have full-time jobs. I know a male artist though who is in the same boat.

Here is to all of us -
and all the trials and tribulations involved in making art a career. In many ways we are so lucky.