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-   -   Pick this apart for me? (http://portraitartistforum.com/showthread.php?t=3932)

Karen Barton 03-02-2004 03:18 PM

Pick this apart for me?
 
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I am not sure if this is done or not. Do you think I need to do any more work on it? Have I overworked it? I don't really care if she looks like my model. I just like the concept. I had to make it kind of small since it is so wide. Hope you can see it ok. Karen

Matthew Severson 03-02-2004 03:36 PM

Beautiful
 
That's so beautiful! The only possible thing I can think of is that the line where the rock meets the water seems slightly too dark. It sort of stuck me in the eye. You have beautiful coloring!!

Karen Barton 03-02-2004 04:01 PM

Thanks! The original isn't quite as contrasty so I wonder if that dark line would still be too dark if you saw it. Wouldn't hurt to tone it down some though. Thanks again... I seldom do water scenes, or any landscapes for that matter. It was a challenge!

Karen

Karen Barton 03-02-2004 04:40 PM

Changes
 
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I lightened up that line and it really helped! Take a look!

Karen Barton 03-02-2004 04:43 PM

Colors
 
The colors in this one are more like the original I think.

Sharon Knettell 03-03-2004 04:36 PM

Landscape and figure
 
Personally, I do not care to do landscapes and only do them if there it surrounds a figure!

The problem, as I see it, is not the degree of finish but the competition between the landscape and the figure. Both are equally important in your picture and I think that the baby should dominate.

If you were to greatly soften, cool and lighten up the background it would still set the scene but would not overpower the baby. The baby and the distant background have both the same degree of finish. If you were to look at that figure from life in that situation and looking directly at the baby, you would note that the background would be out of focus. Try softening it up a bit.

I think you would be happier with the result. Nice clean job with the pastels! I know how messy they can be!

Karen Barton 03-03-2004 04:59 PM

Thanks for the input, Sharon. I will try that. One area I need to work on is softening the areas that are not the focal point. I guess I am not confident enough that they will read as rocks and weeds, (not having as much practice with landscapes) so I push the details. Maybe I can just scumble a lighter shade over them now that they read well.

Matthew Severson 03-03-2004 11:43 PM

Wow, Ive tried pastels, but all I get is a mess when I try to work with them. I guess it takes practice.

I love your work!

Chris Saper 03-03-2004 11:47 PM

Hi Karen,

My comments are perhaps just expanding on Sharon's insight.

There is a loss of depth and atmosphere necessary to create a sense of space between the subject and the background, which is happening, I think, for several reasons. The edges where the rocks meet water are among the sharper edges in the piece, and uniformly so. Because the rocks are also as saturated, or more so than the subject they don't stay behind the subject. Lastly, in the bottom image, the rocks have a lot of yellow, compared to the image at the top. Yellow is the first color to fall away as a landscape recedes. You could take quite a bit of license here, given the humidity that accompanies the sea shore, by desaturating and cooling the rocks.

How large is this painting?

Karen Barton 03-04-2004 01:50 AM

Size
 
Thank you Matthew! I've been working in pastels for about 16 years now. I love them!

Hi Chris,

It measures 17x7. I have worked on it some since the last post. I think I am getting closer to what it needs. Your suggestion about the yellow is good. I will try that too. I added some bluish gray, and lowered the contrast beween the dark cracks and the highlights on the rocks and bushes. I will photograph it again tomorrow for your comments. Thanks so much.

Karen Barton 03-04-2004 05:43 PM

Is this better?
 
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I had to wipe out the hills behind her completely and start over. Do they recede enough?

Chris Saper 03-04-2004 06:08 PM

Yes, there's a much better sense of distance now.

Karen Barton 03-04-2004 06:34 PM

Thank you Sharon, and Chris!

I agree!! It was worth the trouble for sure. I have learned a valuable lesson! Thanks so much!!

Sharon Knettell 03-04-2004 06:56 PM

Bravery!
 
I agree with Chris, however,at the left bottom of the hills there is a rather sharp brown line, soften it as it makes the hills look somewhat detached from the water and floating. I think you could also scumble a tad more of the sky color over the hills to lighten them up a bit. All in all a good job overall!

Leslie Ficcaglia 03-04-2004 07:53 PM

Karen, I think it's a much stronger painting now. I agree completely with Chris and Sharon that the background was competing too much with the child. As you have it now, minus that brown separating line, it creates a lovely mood and allows the viewer to focus on the child within a landscape, but not dominated by it. Nice work!

Karen Barton 03-05-2004 03:01 PM

From good to great!
 
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I think it has improved so much. I am really grateful for the help with it. I fixed the dark line on the left. One last photo of the finished product. Do you see anything about the baby that could be improved?

Michele Rushworth 03-06-2004 11:56 AM

Can't see anything about the baby that I'd change at first glance but what does jump out at me is the bottom ellipse of the bucket. It doesn't match the top ellipse of the bucket opening.

Karen Barton 03-06-2004 12:13 PM

The bucket
 
That's not hard to fix. The bucket has been kind of like an afterthought next to all the other elements. I noticed yesterday after I photographed it that it looks pinched where she is holding the bucket , so I have fixed that. I am usually pretty aware of elipses and it bugs me when I see the "elipse" mistake in artwork. Thanks for the heads up. Karen


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