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-   -   Fishing Brothers (http://portraitartistforum.com/showthread.php?t=1481)

Patti Del Checcolo 10-16-2002 10:13 AM

Fishing Brothers
 
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I just joined this great site and look forward to help I see you offering others. I've been painting about 2 years and this is the first commission I have taken. I have another 4 weeks before I have to deliver and would really appreciate any suggestions for improving. Have a really bad reference photo to work from and should have listened to advice given here about insisting on a better one. They are two separate black and whites, (I'll attach) and the Dad helped me with the flesh colors and the clothing. This is a surprise for his wife for Christmas and I would like it to be special for her.

Thanks for your help.

Patti Del Checcolo 10-16-2002 10:15 AM

Reference photo of older brother
 
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Here's the first.

Patti Del Checcolo 10-16-2002 10:16 AM

& the other
 
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I can see from this post, his left jaw needs to be narrower.

Jeremiah White 10-16-2002 10:36 PM

It is a bit difficult working from bad reference photos. So far it looks ok but there are a few things throwing the entire painting off.

I think that the greenery in the background is done well. The water, however, has an odd thing going on with it. Because of where the glare starts and stops, makes it look as if the boys are under water up to their waists.

The denim doesn't have those streaks of light in them which makes it look a bit "pin striped" in a way. Their denim has a very even tone to them.

The face on the left is too angular. The cheek should be more soft and round while the side of the face right of the right eye should be more flat and have fewer highlights.

The boy on the right shouldn't have such a dynamic face since he's more of a baby then the other boy. Babies' faces tend to be very soft and round with most of the dark values being the eyes, nostrils, and mouth. It almost looks as if the young boy has a 5 o'clock shadow or a really good tan.

You should also notice that the size of the boy on the right is much too large in comparison to the boy on the left. If the boy on the right were to stand up, he would be close to the height of the boy on the left, who is obviously older. If you use the barrel as a measuring object you can tell that if the toddler were to stand next to it, the top of the barrel would come mid/lower chest.

I think that with a little work, this piece could be a success.

:: Also, another thing I forgot to mention is the eyes. They are too light. You're not going to really be able to make out the color of the eyes from the way things are set up in the composition. There also won't be that much of a "sparkle" in their eyes either.

Marvin Mattelson 10-16-2002 11:36 PM

God is in the big planes
 
I may be inhaling too many Neo Megilp fumes, but to me the reference photos look better than 95% of what I usually see people working from on this site. You have a consistent light source that reveals the form nicely. Many artists, including myself, prefer working from B&W source photos because they help clarify and more accurately reveal the values. See if you can borrow the clothes and props and take the color from life. Do life studies of the kids for color as well. This is the way many artists have combined the advantages of photography (the ability to capture detail) and the advantages of life painting (seeing accurately, especially color). BTW color photography doesn't produce accurate color or values. Also if you can get the negatives have very light prints made in order to see more detail in the darks.

Your biggest problem is your lack of understanding of how to construct solid form through value arrangement. Don

Peter Jochems 10-17-2002 05:31 PM

Hi Patti,

I don't think you should change much on this piece. It looks finished as it is now and I think the person who commissioned it will like it very much. The person who commissioned it chose you to paint his sons because of the way of painting he knows that you currently have, and it's a nice piece of work. Don't screw it up I would say.

I see problem areas, tonal values, as mentioned before and especially in how you painted the faces. Maybe in the future you can post studies with the source photographs on which we can comment in-depth about how you painted certain details.

Greetings,
Peter

Patti Del Checcolo 10-18-2002 08:46 AM

Thanks Jeremiah, Marvin & Peter for your points. Some I can't fix, like the size of younger but I would like to work more on the faces & the water. I think I understand what to do as far as angularness on the boy on the left and the dark values on the younger, but not sure how to fix the water that Jeremiah mentioned. Help in that area would be appreciated. The streaks of light in the denim really aren't there but are a result of the glare in the picture. Both coveralls are pretty much the same.

I'm going to tone down the brightness in the eyes as I agree you wouldn't see that much "sparkle" from that distance and also Marvin, I see the light values are glaring at me in the areas you mentioned. (Feet, left arm and left side of sitting boy.)

Once again, thanks so much for your help. I really want to learn about portrait painting and this site gives me much to consider. Read on one thread where Karen Wells is being encouraged to do a video. Please do Karen, as I learn so much from your critiques and Peggy's also. I plan on buying her video from the proceeds of this commission.

Lon Haverly 10-18-2002 05:04 PM

Perhaps you painted the background without a reference photo after the boys were painted. I would suggest if you use a landscape background, to paint it along with the portrait, around the sketch of the boys, then they will look more a part of the setting in which they are painted. The background looks somewhat like a mural behind the boys.

Patti Del Checcolo 10-20-2002 01:15 PM

Lon, thanks for responding. Actually I did do the background first around the sketch. Not sure exactly how to make them relate better. I'm just stumbing around learning all this. Appreciate all the help you can offer.

Jeanine Jackson 10-20-2002 03:33 PM

Relating
 
They are going to love this painting!

One suggestion for relating subjects to background is to take advantage of opportunities to lose edges in areas of same value. If you darken the refelected light of the water on either side, this may help as well.

Chris Saper 10-20-2002 04:00 PM

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Hi, Patti.

I just wanted to make a quick observtion about composition, to keep in mind in your next portrait.

You have a number of tangents happening in this painting...areas where forms join, rather than overlap, or form a strong visual line or shape that becomes an unintended focal point. I hope you don't mind but I have marked several of then with a red line in the image below.

Fortunately they are usually somewhat easy to fix, just by moving one of the forms or breaking the line or angle somewhat.

Best wishes,

Patti Del Checcolo 10-20-2002 04:59 PM

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Chris, I never would have thought of that or noticed. I think that would be fairly easy to correct before delivery and thanks so much for the advise.

Jeanine, I was so hoping someone would give me a clue about the water and I did what you said on the right side and I think it helped quite a bit.

I'm attaching my changes worked on today. Three weeks and counting before I have to deliver. Please continue to point out things that are glaringly off.


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