Hi Pat,

I didn't read your posts before you edited them, but I can infer some and can tell that you are in some pain. I hope you are doing OK and hope that your art will help you through!

Kim, your post reminded me of some things. One was a college instructor of mine. She was discussing with me the importance of making your studio time a priority and having others respect that. She told me that her own husband didn't respect her studio time: he was also a painter!

I think, like you said, that people don't respect art as a job because it is enjoyable (though sometimes we wrestle with it!) but also due to the way art itself is treated. Some of it may have to do with the idea that there are no standards in art and that just by being an artist, you produce art. Some of it also may have to do with the idea that an artist has talent, so it's all a natural abiliy that doesn't need to be worked at.

I know it really made me mad when my aunt and I were going to the same college. We both worked, and I had a young son at home. I was majoring in art (but half my classes were academics), she was majoring along the lines of medical billing. When she saw my grades, she said "I wish I was an artist so that I could get high grades, too!" Grrrr! I thought "Yeah, all I do all day is color!"

OK, I may be off subject now. But I also wanted to post one of my favorite sayings (that likely doesn't help): "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."

Thanks for the moral support Kim and Lacey,
For a relationship with an artist to survive the artist's partner has to understand that art is essentially who we are. When I was married and raising my children (I am talking a period of twenty-some years), I NEVER stopped thinking about my art. Grade school art exhibits made me swallow and fight back tears!
Now that I am creating portraits again, I think of those years when my art was dormant and I am reminded of a story I read about a pianist who was imprisoned in the concentration camps in WWII. He said that what kept him sane was to continue to finger an imaginary piano. I think that every portrait I ever looked at during those twenty-five years I imagined a brush in my hand . . .

When I finally returned to my art I made a declaration to my children and to my large family and to my signifcant other, "I set my art aside for twenty-some years. I will never ever do this again. That means hanging up the old apron and tying on a paint smock. The dust ball will turn into tumbleweeds, preparing beautiful home cooked meals are a thing of the past except on special occasions, and there will be family functions that I will bow out of..."

Now, they are learning that I was serious and am still serious and I think my getting my own place brings me great resolve and peace. I had a great Monday yesterday, working on my next portrait.

My personal life will settle down to what is right and I will not have lost my sense of identity. There is no stopping me, whether I can ever make a living at my art or not.

And yes, we are blessed to have this passion, this work we all share!!

"It grieves me greatly that I cannot recapture my past...I can only offer you my future, which is short, for I am old" - Michelangelo

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be." - Abraham Maslow

Way to go Pat,
Art is a faithful lover, go for it !!
Allan

Thank you, Allan!

You go girl.

My mother-in-law was a very talented artist. I say was because she stopped painting many times during her life because her husband was very demanding of her attention. She was raised in a different time where she believed you should always do what your husband wanted - even if it was not necessary. She would go to work with him, because he asked...just to keep him company. She raised 5 children. She worked in many different businesses with her husband over the years as well. Even if she wasn't needed - she went there because he wanted her to. Even if it was killing her, she went. He was extremely jealous of her art - HE wanted all of her attention. She hasn't painted now in over 12 years. She is still going to work with him and they are both very healthy and vibrant 84-year-olds. She had a real talent that she could have devloped to be outstanding. She doesn't seem overly bitter about it, but there is definitly regret there. I respect both of these folks more than I can say...but her life is my worst nightmare! She is also one of my biggest fans. No one wants to complain about the time I spend painting around her - she understands and is a great defender of mine. I've heard her lecturing family members who were taking up my time needlessly by dropping by and expecting me to drop what Im doing and cook for them....saying "For Kim, this is a CAREER!" Nothing like having a little 4'9" powehouse in your corner. :cool:

That is a very bittersweet story, I feel bad for your mother-in-law but I am glad she is your advocate with your family. It helps so much. My 80 year old father paid for movers to move me to the apartment and he came over this weekend to see the place. He suffered a stroke in January and is in poor health, but he sat across from me and told me that NOW is the time to focus on my studio work, to paint and draw and allow no distractions to get in the way. I originally got Mondays off from my day job (I work Tues-Fri 10 hr days now) to nurse him back to health. Now that he is able to take care of himself he says, don't come over on Mondays, you should be in your studio all day!!!

And then the support we give each other, here is immeasurable.

Thanks, Kim.

This was/is a good thread.

I woke up this morning, tired from my weekend of hard work getting prints ready for a gallery I'm in so that I could have my week to paint. I was tired and not looking forward to my day, again, of preparing prints, invoices, etc.

After reading all the posts here, I'm inspired and heartwarmed for all of us artists and what we do to paint. We are a unique group in that we do what we love completely. All we do is in support of that or we are just bears. ;) (I paint bears)

Love to all, tears, joy, compassion, prayers, and most of thanks.

Back to the studio.

Val

What a fascinating thread - I have read it two or three time already. I felt compelled to add my two cents worth as a result of reading Virginia Woolf's "A Room of One's Own". I just knew there were a couple of quotes I could add-with vicarious sense of accomplishment-that would be entirely appropriate. Well, I couldn't find them. But the premise of her lecture is that in order to write, a woman needs money and a room of her own. Extrapolate to painting, and both men and women (although this thread has touched on the particular challenges of women in their pursuits) and that may be it in a nutshell (I'll get back to the nuts in a bit). Then Ms. Woolf spends the rest of her work in examining the lives of those who were driven to create without even her limited requirements. And the tests that they were subjected to as a matter of course. Welcome to the history of creating art.

Janet,
I needed a book to read by my bed, so I ordered "A Room of One's Own" just now. thanks for the suggestion! I have been in my apartment almost a month and trying not to worry about paying the rent and the heating bills in the winter (gas costs are expected to rise 40 - 70% this winter and this is an old house). But I LOVE the space and every day I am more sure that I have done the right thing by living alone.

I have a quote on my bulletin board at work: "Do what you love, the money will follow" Marsha Senita

I just checked my list of potential clients and in the last three weeks I have heard from seven people who are interested in commissioning me to do a portrait for them. I just haven't gotten any of them to sign on the dotted line yet. But this is the most active interest I have ever gotten, so I am optimistic.

All the best
Pat

Patricia,

Glad to help a fellow reader! I think you will like it. To comment briefly on your recently changed circumstance: I was married for 15 years to a man who didn't like to work. At anything: around the house, the yard, as an employee... I kept waiting for him to change, especially after two little kids arrived. But he didn't. You know, he always had the utmost respect for my art (it paid most of the bills), and my energy (I did often work at two or three different jobs). What he needled me with, his big huge bitter pill, was that I "loved" what I did. It was the ultimate insult to him, and also made me somehow unable to understand his ongoing predicament. The number I times I heard "You can never understand me, because you love your job" spat at me with venom. What was my job? Commercial and creative artist much of the time. Also bartender, waitress, cashier. I did them all, found the best in every situation and was happy. He never forgave me for it. My point? I think I lost it in the diatribe! Oh yeah, you can't change other people and frequently they are unable to change themselves. Find the good in everything, celebrate the small. You will be happy again.

Thanks for the uplifting words, Janet. I am learning how to steer my thinking away from the negative and towards the positive and I have much to be thankful for. I, too, am working four ten hour days a week, and covet the three days in my studio. Already I have turned down a girlfriend who wanted to get together Saturday. I suggested dinner during the week. I have to tell friends and family OVER and OVER that I work on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday!!! Eventually they'll get it or I'll have fewer friends!

Strength and happiness to all to stay focused on our dreams.

I have read this thread and felt compelled to write about being on one's own. I didn't always love it like I do now....as it took a lot of time, money, physical and emotional strength to appreciate it.

After having being divorced just over 13 years ago from a long term loveless marriage (not on my part) my infant son and I set off to find our new home. I moved to a seaside town, then a mountain town, then to a bigger town, to a warmer town, to a colder town etc trying to find a home and work, moved again after no luck in one or both departments, moved again etc, and again trying to find a place where we belonged and put down roots. Nine moves in 13 years including staying at one tiny town for 8 years that included the isolation from family, friends and the public which I enjoyed and hated equally. I suppose I was like a wood duck always looking for a nest to call home. I new I belonged somewhere but where?

We put down roots in a small town at the bottom of a mountain range, made a reckless decision to settle down and got a small mortgage with no permanent job to cater for payments crossed the fingers and flying on angles wings. I even found the courage to try to start a relationship with art as my new partner a couple of times, but either my mothering/work duties, depression, chores, family got in my way. I also thought I needed a man to make me feel complete. Another few hiccups like poor health or lack of regular money made it hard to keep this mortgage going so after struggling for 8 years I sold up at the wrong time and left financially ruined. I also tried to muster the courage to start new relationships during this time, only to see them never get started or when they did being tricked by con men who took advantage of my naivety and finances. A couple of more moves later was spent with my dreams unfulfilled as minimal time was spent in art training.

We have now arrived to a lovely city (ironically the same town where I grew up) to help keep an eye on my aging mother who happens to be my only surviving parent.

My son is now nearly 16 and doing his own thing most of the time with sport, girls and the occasional party, we are both in transition times. I am now finally happy to spend every possible minute, learning and training for my art career and allowing the rediscovery of my self as an important aspect for my original dream to flourish. I must make every minute count to develop as an artist as I can never recover the time lost already, sadly.

It wasn't until now, I found out where it is that I belong, it is as an artist or at this stage, training to be one. It wasn't a physical place like a town near the seaside, or a town high in the hills or a partner as I thought. It was a place I found inside of me, a place where I longed for but couldn't find it was my inner peace. I found this peace when I spent quality time learning about and training to be an artist. So now I take every minute I can to think art, practice art, read about art, learn from others about art, making wish lists for art supplies etc, really looking at nature as an artist etc . So now, every minute I am training to be an artist, I am on my own and I am free to do as I please for myself and my son. I moved to this town in January and have recently moved again in the same town but upgraded to a better house as the other one didn't suit us or our 4 pets or for my art. I currently have only temporary work every now and again as a administrative temp but hopefully I will get suitable work for three or four days a week soon so I can concentrate on my art until it can generate enough income.

So I say to you, I apologise for the detail but I wanted to get across that it is OK to be on your own, it is a safe place, a happy place and a comforting place to be.

A favourite quote is "It doesn't matter how rough the water gets, it's what you let into your boat that counts".

I don't know who wrote it but it says it all to me. It can cover all things in ones life that erodes time away from your art that is it encompasses wasted time, mothering, housework, other chores, as well as emotions etc.

I will add to the long reply above, that my son has come through our journey together as a vibrant, outgoing, well adjusted young man that everybody loves as he lights up the room where ever he goes, he is a B average student (who could easily be an A average student if he actually studied instead of talking to girls on the phone till late) and an aspiring athelete. He recently has been chosen to go to the state finals for sprinting. Best of all, he understands that we both need and cherish our times together and apart as we go about trying to establish our dreams.

The question of Time management, just do it as best you can, when you can, where you can but always remember that today is a special day in your life and those around you, no matter what happens why? Because you are one day closer to your dreams, make the most of it.

Well put, Ngaire. I don't suppose it was easy to write, but maybe you feel better for having written it.

I wonder if "Time Management" is another one of those oxymorons. Maybe time can't be managed any more than cats can be herded. Perhaps Tme can't be pushed or forced or bribed. Maybe Time needs to find its own balance and it's own pace. I believe there is a Buddhist saying that "there is action in inaction", and possibly our Western way of always compelling things to fit, to work according to our preconceptions, is counterproductive. Do I read from your submission, Ngaire, that you actually found peace when you finally let go of forcing your life into a ready-made mold? An interesting thought.

Janet

Thanks Janet for your reply.

Yes, what you write is true for me anyway. I did find my own peace when I stopped trying to find it. The buddhist saying is true, I believe.

I would have liked to have started my art training at an earlier age around my teens when I first got interested in art. As parents in those days did, they discouraged this idea severely and drummed it into me to get a regular income, buy a home (which I did at the age of 19) as there is plenty of time to do that sort of thing when you retire. I believed them of course as they were much wiser than I was and took it for granted that only really special talented artists got to start early in life.

Hmmmmmmm, I look back now on all those years with the subject of time management in my mind and think "Just where has the time gone to develop one self to inner peace and one's dreams". I suppose I am where I should be right now. What will be, will be.