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01-07-2003, 09:24 AM
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#21
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Approved Member
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,730
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The man's pants
Jeanine,
As I mentioned in an earlier post, you should have moved the background figure further to our right. Then the dark side of the man's face would have something lighter to play against. As it is, that side is completely lost and the background figure, especially the numeral "1", still competes for attention.
It seems to me the top of the picture is very dark, leaving the major focus on the bright white of his pants.
Sincerely,
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01-07-2003, 10:26 AM
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#22
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Associate Member CSOPA, President FT Professional
Joined: Jan 2002
Location: Greenwich & Palm Beach
Posts: 420
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Re: The man's pants
Dear Sharon:
Your keen observation and comments did not go unheard. After trying variations of it, I came back to my lost edge idea.
I can still re-work that piece behind him so that it is lighter that his face. That decision will be made today.
Thank you all so much for caring enought to keep after me. Even when I am being stubborn and thick-headed, I always appreciate your comments.
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01-07-2003, 11:39 AM
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#23
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CAFE & BUSINESS MODERATOR SOG Member FT Professional
Joined: Jul 2001
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,460
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I, too, agree that the figure in the background, especially with the very strong, very graphic "1" on his back, is still much too eye-catching in the composition. I would, at a minimum, remove the number. Even if you subdue it 'til it is almost the same value and color as the shirt, its large size, graphic shape and significance as an immediately recognizable symbol will make the number 1 more dominant than you want.
No one else has mentioned it so maybe I'm the only one who thinks this but it appears to me, especially from the position of his arms, that the man in the background is urinating. (Does anyone else get that impression?!)
A couple of other things are slightly distracting, for me, in the background. (These are much less of a problem than than the standing man, though.) The woman on the right appears to be slouching, too. Perhaps the outline of her chest can be straightened up a bit to make that a more appealing shape. Also, the pitcher of water seems a bit too light in value and grabs more attention than it should, perhaps. Especially since the right edge of the subject's shirt is very close in value to the background, the pitcher seems just a bit too prominent for where it is.
Also, you mentioned that this is from a professional photo. Do you have the photographer's written permission to paint this from his image? Check out the copyright threads. Copyright problems can be very dangerous for artists.
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01-07-2003, 11:59 AM
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#24
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FT Pro, Mem SOG,'08 Cert Excellence PSA, '02 Schroeder Portrait Award Copley Soc, '99 1st Place PSA, '98 Sp Recognition Washington Soc Portrait Artists, '97 1st Prize ASOPA, '97 Best Prtfolio ASOPA
Joined: Jun 2001
Location: Peterborough, NH
Posts: 1,114
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Quote:
No one else has mentioned it so maybe I'm the only one who thinks this but it appears to me, especially from the position of his arms, that the man in the background is urinating. Does anyone else get that impression?!
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 LOL, yes! It was the first thing that struck me but I hesitated to say so. I tried to get around it by saying that simplifying the background and eliminating the figure would improve the painting. I am thankful that you are so direct Michelle, I regret that I wimped out on this one when I first saw it.
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