Sara

Mary Sparrow · 08-06-2003, 11:28 AM

Ok, Im ready for the firing squad

This was a real challenge for me. First, I am very very very new to this medium, I never ever do adults, and the only portraits I have tried in pastel were on Artspectrum paper, this one is on Canson, so I am dealing with lots of "new" aspects here.

This is a portrait of the client's grandmother who passed away. She had zero close-ups of her that she liked except for this one church picture. She asked that I make her look a little younger and fresher in a pink top.

She is also aware that this is something I have never attempted to do and is aware, I may not pull it off.

So, that said, guidance is appreciated. Also, there is an overall pink cast to this image that isn't there in person.

Mary Sparrow · 08-06-2003, 11:29 AM

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Steven Sweeney · 08-06-2003, 01:32 PM

Hi, Mary,

I

Mary Sparrow · 08-06-2003, 01:48 PM

Thank you so much, I think I understand all that you are saying, even without you here to physically point at it!

Im going to print this out and make some adjustments!

08-06-2003, 03:17 PM

Hi Mary -

I saw this when you posted it on Wetcanvas, and I remember you said the clients loved it so congratulations! I think it definitely shows a lot of confidence and verve in your strokes, and is a good likeness.

I thought the eyes were a smidge too large and the whites too bright. I reduced the shape of the eyes in Photoshop by 10-11% to check and that seemed better, then lowered the light highlights too. I didn't keep the Photoshop file, though, because you didn't ask for a critique on WC.

Congrats on a successful commission!

Mary Sparrow · 08-06-2003, 03:28 PM

Im not sure if this is what you had in mind Steven, Also, as Lisa mentioned up there, the client had already seen it and said NOT TO TOUCH THE FACE! the only thing she wanted changed was that the woman had brown/gray hair, which I thought was blonde.

So..what did I do?..I touched the face

Im not sure if this is better or worse or just a lateral slide!

Steven Sweeney · 08-07-2003, 03:39 PM

I'm a little slow in catching up here . . . don't know if you still have access to the piece. I think you've made some improvements. The lashes under the upper eyelids still seem dark, thick and severe to me. And I'd back off a little on the purply, dark hue/value on top of the forehead, at the hairline (makes it look as though there's a sudden 83 degree turn in the planes of the skull.) I know I said not to keep that light, but now it's gone a bit too far in the other direction.

The whites of the eyes are still quite a bit light, as is the value of the upper eyelids. I think the irises are both slightly large, and the one on our right isn't quite round -- or rather, it appears that we're seeing slightly less than the bottom half of that one, which again contributes to the impression of its being oversized. Slightly lower it and let it round up, the edges curving ever so slightly inward by the time they reach the upper eyelid.

A definite improvement. Good work.