My late father in watercolor

Will Enns · 10-10-2002, 07:23 PM

This continues from my post in the photos critique section, where many good suggestions were given. That photo can be seen here, and is the third one down.

Since that time, I've painted this image. 21" x 14", watercolor on #140 WC paper.

I would be much obliged for critical commentary on this piece. Honesty will not offend me. Digital manipulation is OK.

One of the suggestions was to go with a square composition. I've not done this, but my intention is to crop if square turns out to be the best composition.

Thanks in advance for such advice as you might offer,

John Zeissig · 10-13-2002, 07:51 PM

Bravo Will!

This painting has a wonderful "Old Master" quality, and in watercolor no less! If I didn't already know the medium I would never have guessed it correctly.

It's apparent that you used much cooler tones than were present in the reference. On balance this looks like an improvement on the original. The background change is very effective, and really aids the composition. Did you do this because of Steven Sweeney's suggestion?

As you know, I now harbor deep skepticism about the accuracy of what we see on our monitors with respect to the original paintings, particularly regarding colors. With that caveat in mind, here are my (few) critical comments.

I think the value on the upper part of the index and middle fingers and knuckles could be lower. As it stands this is the brightest part of the painting; and while a case could be made that given their orientation and proximity to the light source this should be so, they tend to upstage the book. Given the thematic content of this work, I think the book should dominate in capturing interest.

In the same area, the shirt cuff seems flat and almost an extension of the jacket sleeve. I know the photo looks this way and the painting is very faithful to it, but a little more shadow under the edge of the jacket sleeve and a little more highlight on the edge of the jacked sleeve would help differentiate these fabrics.

Finally, the shirt has a decidedly blue hue, so I think there should be a warm reflection on the underside of the shirt cuff. The subadjacent wood tabletop would be scattering reflected light into the shadow in this area. I think this would help round out the flatness. Again, this isn't seen in the photo, but, hey, the photo looks wrong here too!

I've got to say, Will, I really had to scrutinize this work to come up with those criticisms.

Will Enns · 10-13-2002, 08:51 PM

John,

I take this as high praise from a much better artist than I am.

At this point, the painting sits facing the wall, so I don't have to see it for a while. After a time of rest, I will go back and repair those flaws. I had already noticed the hand was too prominent. But that sleeve snuck past me like a crook past a snoozing guard.

Quote:

The background change is very effective, and really aids the composition. Did you do this because of Steven Sweeney's suggestion?

Steven made many suggestions, all of them good. But to tell the truth, I think I was responding more to Chris Saper's thought that there should be a balancing weight toward the upper right.

I left the area devoid of detail simply because (you may laugh at this...) I plan to submit the image to a greeting card company for their religious line of cards. That area would be suitable for any text they include should they be so gullible as to accept my offer. Same goes for the lower area.

Mike McCarty · 10-13-2002, 10:40 PM

Will,

Except the part about leaving space for greeting card text, I think you could trim some from the top and the bottom. Whether this creates a square, I can't tell.

Congratulations, I think this is a very successful painting.

Will Enns · 10-15-2002, 01:23 AM

Mike,

Thanks!

My good friend Ben Crane, who is a full time western cartoonist, said to me, "Make sure each piece you paint is better than every piece you've painted before."

It's a simplistic concept, but I find it more dificult to implement the further I progress. But it has served me well. It forces me to plan ahead, analyze previous mistakes, and seek out ever more refined advice, such as the suggestions you made on the photo.

The square composition you suggested may still happen, but I thought it would be easier to crop than extend later. Thanks again for offering your expertise and encouragement.