Now that I can see the painting and the reference photo, I can give you some tips.
The drawing is very good. The key area where I see a problem is in the values. The large masses of light, medium and dark values on the yellow areas of clothing seem to me to be too broken up.
Here's an essential trick for you to use whenever you're tying to work out what overall areas should be light or dark in a piece: squint.
If you squint at the reference photo you'll see that there are really three distinct blocks of "medium", "dark" and "darkest" in the yellow areas. The top half of the standing figure is medium in value, while his bottom half is much darker overall. The yellow jacket of the crouching figure is darkest of the yellow areas.
These large masses of shadow values are being broken up too much by the white light areas in the painting that I don't see at all in the reference photo. There are areas in the yellow clothes that are somewhat lighter than the surrounding fabric, it is true, but overall even the lightest areas in these shadowed yellow sections should be much darker, so that the masses hold together as large blocks of value.
Paint all the areas in shadow (which is most of these forms, since they are back-lighted) to be much darker than any of the areas in the light.
And there you'll have it. Nice piece!
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