[Ngaire Winwood]

Hi Patricia

Please be thankful you are drawing and having the odd chance to paint.

I would love to be a full time artist, even to afford to be a part time one.

I dearly miss practicing my art and just can't even get the energy to pick up a pencil nowadays, as I am always so tired. I have concentrated on academic studies the last few years, so that I could gain a higher paying job that would allow me the money to be an artist. I tried it a few years ago with a part time job but working with inferior quality materials is so depressing. I started my uni degree in 2008 and I have never stopped thinking of taking time off to at least draw even for an hour, but time does not allow me this privilege studying two subjects and working full time. I only have time to eat, work, study and sleep every day of the week and on weekends, it is housework and working on assignments that always seem to be due yesterday.

I would love to have your problem of having the time to draw and the occasional attempts at painting. I yearn and ache for this experience, a few times every day when I can allow my mind to wander. I try to remind myself that one day I will have the time and privilege to be an artist. I am trying to save any tit bits left after the bills for my art life. With the struggles most days, all I feel like doing is throwing in the towel with my studies and going back to where I was a few years ago with the seat out of pants, but at least pencil was in my hand and not much else.

Hang in there, be kinder to yourself and let your mind just freely wander. You just might surprise yourself with the outcome.