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Mara, for what its worth. I think you need to re-check the drawing of the faces. For example the mans moth is not as it should be. Another thing even though you see the shadows on a face real dark, thanks to the photo, in real life it is not that dark. When painting faces the basic thing one decides is the local color and then how big the separations will be between the shadow and light. As you well know dark shadows under the eyes do not look so good.
First the drawing then the rest.
I hope this helps
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