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Steven Sweeney · 09-12-2002, 01:41 AM

Jose--

The quality of the representational work in this piece is extremely high. Drawing and paint application are excellent. There is hardly a single off-key note in the rendition.

You wrote of working very hard on the "smile". Very often it is suggested that "less is more" when it comes to painting teeth, but in this instance, it appears that the teeth are not merely incidental to the likeness, but essential to it, and so I think you've done very well with the execution, with one exception. The row of teeth looks flat, when of course it is in nature seeded about the round perimeter of the palate, "muzzle", oral cavity or whatever you might call it. And so I think it would contribute much to darken the one or two teeth at both extremities, as if the teeth were not many different shapes lined up, but a single shape molded around a form. As that form turns into and away from the light, and becomes influenced by halftones and by shadows cast by the lips and other structures of the mouth, some of the teeth will fall into shadow, others might glow with highlight.

I feel, too, an overall coolness in color temperature throughout the piece, as well as a lack of full use and manipulation of the higher values, both of which are draining dynamic light effects out of the painting. Squinting at the piece leaves the impression of an almost monochrome, single value face, against an only slightly darker (and also cool) background with similar qualities. I would recommend warming up the the flesh tones in the face (more reds, even if slight -- perhaps a glaze would be enough) and bringing up the value of the highlights on cheek and forehead. Those modest changes will, I think, quickly pull this further out of the perspective of two dimensions and into three. It will bring toward the viewer the most forward features of the face, and clearly separate the subject from the background.

Lastly, I would soften the edges on one of the tendons in the back of the hand (to avoid the redundancy of two almost identical physical features), and also make sure these weren't quite as parallel as you've depicted them, for they do of course stretch from a knuckle span that is wider than the wrist.

Cheers,
Steven

09-12-2002, 01:41 AM	#2
Steven Sweeney Juried Member PT 5+ years Joined: Nov 2001 Location: Stillwater, MN Posts: 1,801	Jose-- The quality of the representational work in this piece is extremely high. Drawing and paint application are excellent. There is hardly a single off-key note in the rendition. You wrote of working very hard on the "smile". Very often it is suggested that "less is more" when it comes to painting teeth, but in this instance, it appears that the teeth are not merely incidental to the likeness, but essential to it, and so I think you've done very well with the execution, with one exception. The row of teeth looks flat, when of course it is in nature seeded about the round perimeter of the palate, "muzzle", oral cavity or whatever you might call it. And so I think it would contribute much to darken the one or two teeth at both extremities, as if the teeth were not many different shapes lined up, but a single shape molded around a form. As that form turns into and away from the light, and becomes influenced by halftones and by shadows cast by the lips and other structures of the mouth, some of the teeth will fall into shadow, others might glow with highlight. I feel, too, an overall coolness in color temperature throughout the piece, as well as a lack of full use and manipulation of the higher values, both of which are draining dynamic light effects out of the painting. Squinting at the piece leaves the impression of an almost monochrome, single value face, against an only slightly darker (and also cool) background with similar qualities. I would recommend warming up the the flesh tones in the face (more reds, even if slight -- perhaps a glaze would be enough) and bringing up the value of the highlights on cheek and forehead. Those modest changes will, I think, quickly pull this further out of the perspective of two dimensions and into three. It will bring toward the viewer the most forward features of the face, and clearly separate the subject from the background. Lastly, I would soften the edges on one of the tendons in the back of the hand (to avoid the redundancy of two almost identical physical features), and also make sure these weren't quite as parallel as you've depicted them, for they do of course stretch from a knuckle span that is wider than the wrist. Cheers, Steven __________________ Steven Sweeney [email protected] "You must be present to win."