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Matt, i have a few suggestions for you to consider. First, the face in shadow the edge of the face by the ear seems to sharp. You mite ad a little tone on the shadow side and soften that edge or break it up, if you know what I mean. By adding another value to the shadow side, making it a little darker you will push the light side of the face out and give the face more dimension or form. The hair on the light side seems to dark. If this girl is blond than you can practically bleach out the hair and add a lit hint of body. Remember light and shadow should not compete. The shadow is your anchor and the light is the attraction. To much detail in the hair attracts the eye but it takes away from the over all focus which should be the girls face and then the flowers that she is holding.
The same with the shirt, there should be a definite separation of shadow and light separated by halftone in order to defining form.
I hope I was able to give you some constructive ideas.
All the best to you.
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