Paul, I also really like the direct honesty and painterly technique evident in this painting. Please keep doing them.
However, you need to put this three-quarter view head into perspective as if it were a cube in space, which involves (among other things) raising the western outside corner of the mouth (even if she is frowning a little bit). There are two planes here, the frontal plane of the head and the side plane - the planes need to recede somewhat to appear to be a convincing mass.There's a good discussion of this by William Maughan in
this book.