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Patt,
Whenever you feel you are moving backwards, you are actually about to move forwards. The only problem is that it is an uphill climb, and you need to find extra momentum and resources within yourself.
I think people have suggested tracing (I myself suggested the grid method because you are drawing freehand, but learning to see and judge relationships of angles, distance, negative/positive space, etc. within smaller areas) because it is a way to get these commissions done that have been plaguing you for a long time. I agree that it is not a long-term solution, but we've already said all that.
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